Life As A Teasdale

Ch.32

We are in Austlria it's amazing! The boys had their first show last night. When I arrived at the arena with Lou I saw Michael, Ashton, Luke, and Calum. I ran to them with my arms open. I gave them one big hug all together. I've missed them so much. I let of and hugged each of them sepertly. The show was amazing. I went back to the hotel and sat in Lou's room.

"I swear if I could live anywhere this would be my third choice" I said laying down on her bed.

"I know it would be lovely"

I got up and left her room. Harry and I have been good. We are friends. I knocked on his door and he opened. He smiled and let me in quickly.

"What's up?" He asked watching this show.

"Nothing just came to hang with the best friend" I smiled.

He chuckled. My heart ached. He looks so sweet and good I just wish I could call him mine again but I can't I'm doing this for the best.

"So what have you been up to?" He asked now looking at me.

"We just got here but nothing staying inside because the fans are everywhere and also security"

He nodded.

"Yeah we got to keep you safe" He said with a high voice.

I laughed "And you"

He nodded and moved closer.

"How was your golfing with Niall? I saw that you fell it was funny just like when you fell ballroom dancing" I reminded him.

He started to laugh again but this time a real laugh. His laugh is so cute. It sounds just like it did in the movie.

"It was fun and yes I remember that"

I smiled. This is awkward, I can feel the tension between us. I don't like it not one bit. Before we dated this could have been fun and when we were dating this wasn't a problem. Now it's just all fucked up is all I can think. I hate feeling like this. I want to say something but I can't.

"Does this feel weird to you?" He asked me.

Thank god he feels the same.

"Yes but I don't want it to be everything was fine before but why not now?" I asked hoping he would know because I don't.

"I think because we had something but we let it go and didn't try as hard but if you think it's the best then it's the best" He said and looked away.

I could tell it was hard for him to talk about us not being together or never getting together again. I hope he knows we will one day. This just makes my heart hurt to see him like this. I got off of his bed and went and sat on his lap in the chair he was in. I wrapped my arms around him and he quickly did the same.

"Harry I'm sorry that I broke up with you just maybe we need a little time and then get back together it's just what people were saying really hurt me and I still am hurting give me a little time and I promise I'm yours again" I said looking into his eyes and meaning it.

He smiled and hugged me. He smelled so good and was warm. I pulled back and looked at him. I leaned in and kissed his lips. I don't know why but I did and I'm glad. I haven't felt his kisses in forever. He kissed me back and it felt amazing. He led his kisses down my neck and began to suck. I know this is bad but it can't happen again. Once he was done he went back to my lips. I miss this. I miss him. I pulled back and left a little marking on him. He can't just do that to me without getting one himself. I moved back and kissed his lips once more. I laid in his arms in the chair.

"I'm sorry I just" He cut me off.

"It's okay I understand but I'm glad you did that"

A smile creeped up and I smiled back. I sat in his arms a little bit longer. His phone started to beep.

"Oh we have to be heading to the arena" He said.

I got up so he could stand up. It's cute how he has a timer on his phone to let him know that it's time to go.

"I have to get my bag and stuff I will see you in a few" I said walking out the door.

I walked back to my room and grabbed my bag along with my phone charger, and laptop. I then walked out of my room and was taken to the car. I hopped in with Lou. We drove yo the arena. It took a while but we made it. We went backstage and the boys did what they do.

The boys went on and killed it as always. I remember when I use to kiss Harry after every show but that changed. They came off and I gave them all high fives like I did when we all first met. Those were the days. We left back to the hotel. I stayed in Lou's room. I was laying on top of my bed with my hair in a towel. Lou was in the shower. I was playing with my phone and someone knocked on the door. I looked through the little hole in the door and saw Harry. Well. I opened the door and let him in. His hair was wet, he must have just got out of the shower.

"Hey is Lou in here?" He asked looking around the room.

"Um she's in the shower why?"

"Oh I don't know can I talk to you alone?" The tone of his voice was nervous and quick.

I nodded. "Yeah sure hold on"

I wrote a note telling Lou I went to talk to Harry and I'll be back in a bit. I grabbed my phone and walked out the door with him. We reached his room and I sat in the chair. He sat on his bed and looked at me.

"So what did you need to talk about?" I asked wondering.

"Well... I've been thinking and I know you probably don't know but when will you know when you want to get back together because that kiss made me feel even more lonely and I just truly miss you"

My heart shattered. Him saying he feels even more lonely. I know he wants me to go and be in his arms and kiss him but I can't. I reached for his hand and rubbed it.

"Harry I'm so sorry you feel like that but your not lonely you have the boys and your family and me it will take a while for me but I promise I will be back with you trust me I know it"

"But what if I can't wait I have never felt so empty"

"Please stop saying that it makes my sad because I want you to be happy I promise it will be soon just let me heal"

"Alright you better keep your word"

"I said I promised"

I got up and sat next to him.

"See remember these how we will always be together" I said and showed my "H" tattoo.

He smiled and looked down at his "E". He pulled me into a hug and I felt so happy in his arms. I pulled back and looked at him.

"It's getting late I must get going goodnight Harry"

He stood up and gave me another hug.

"Goodnight Ellie lo-" He stopped himself.

"Love you too Harry" I said for him.

I knew he was use to saying it. He can still say it I mean it won't kill anyone. I kissed his cheek and walked to my room. I got back in and took my towel and hung it up. Lou was sitting in bed talking to Lux and Tom. I brushed my hair and brushed my teeth. I then climbed into bed. Lou then turned her phone and showed me. I looked over and saw Lux and Tom.

"Hiiiiiiiiii guys" I smiled waving.

"Say hi Ellie" Tom said to Lux.

"Hi Ellie" Tom said.

"Hi how are you guys?"

"Good going to let you guys get sleep"

"Alright see you later"

She said goodbye and then plugged her phone in. I said goodnight and fell asleep.