Life As A Teasdale

Ch.66

I woke up the next day feeling better. I finally looked at the text Harry sent me. He was still apologizing but I still didn't except it. I picked up the things that I put in that box. Some of his shirts were in there. I picked up the bracelet he gave me and I started to cry. I looked at our rings. I wonder if he has been wearing his? I started to have flashbacks to when I first met him. How he asked if I was Lou's neice and then how we got drinks. We liked each other since the beginning. I don't know if I can let all the things we did go. They mean so much to me. But did he care about them. I want to just punch something or someone and get all my anger out. I want to just have him feel the pain I'm feeing. I went to my closet and picked up a hanger that had a dress on it. It was the dress he got me for my birthday. I picked up the heals and laid them down. I smiled at it and picked up my phone I went to twitter and saw that he left LA and went to a film thing. He looked really cute and I smiled. I then got a text from him.

"Ellie it was love at first sight when I first saw you. I didn't even know you that much but you had something. I loved traveling around with you and my four best friends my brothers but it was great having you there too. Remember when I would upset you but we would laugh about it again. Remember when I pretended we were having sex in the bus and you got upset and then we were having a moment but then our child Michael walked into the bus. Those were the days I loved so much. But I am a stupid shit head and messed everything up. I know you wont come back to me this time but please don't avoid me for forever. Because you are so beautiful and cute and funny. Your smile is a smile that no one can forget. Your touch is the softest touch someone can feel. I know I didn't treat you right and I know you don't think I love you with all my heart but I do. I am just messed up. I have promised so much stuff but never go through with it. I saw your pictures last night. You're friends seem really nice and that they love you but I love you too. I also saw your picture with that Evan guy. I know you aren't dating him because I don't think you would date a guy the next day but I saw the way you looked at him. If you have feelings for him I hope he is nice or I will talk to him. I am so sorry I caused you so much pain. I also saw you ran into Cathy. I like that girl she is a really nice girl. I remember the night we talked to her. I wont forget our moments. I love you so much more than anything I just shit I didn't know what I was doing. I miss you so much I hate myself for doing this to you. You will forever be my baby. If I shall ever love someone I will never love them as much as I love you. Have a nice rest of the night Ellie love you"

I sat there crying and not going through with my plan on being strong. He couldn't just have cheated there must be a reason. He would let everything we did go. I looked at the mirror on the wall in my closet as I cried. I hate myself. I cant breath in this fucking house. I got up and but on my coat. I was going to go for a drive. I went to the place I showed Harry. I arrived and it was dark. I shined a light from my phone. I sat on a rock and could hear the pond water. I wish I could go back to the way Harry and I once were. But things don't always last forever and people change. Harry and I have both changed in some way. I don't even know how we fell for each other. I know I saw something in him that I have never seen in someone before. I just want to touch his face and kiss his lips and lay next to him and have him tell me things. I want him to laugh at me when I do something stupid and I want to hear his stupid jokes more than anything right now. I heard a sound behind me and I got scared. I shined my light on it and saw someone standing there. It was no other than Sam. I started to get really scared now. I stand up and he stepped back.

"Calm down Ellie I'm not going to mess with you I didn't even know you were here"

I whipped the tears away from my eyes and looked at him. He looked tired. I remember when I could trust him but now I cant.

"What are you doing here?" I asked keeping my distance.

"I needed to think why are you here?"

"Thinking"

"Why are you crying?"

"None of your business"

"Did Ha-'

"Don't talk to me Harry told me you called along with Martin. Why? I didn't know you could be that low"

"I know I cant make an excuse for that but trust me I am officially done with him he is a terrible person and he will never change"

"What did he do?"

"I started dating a girl and I walked in and he was kissing her and she was kissing him back now I know how you feel and I'm beyond sorry for what I did to you it was stupid and terrible."

I started to cry a little more. Not because of Sam I could care less about what Martin did to him. I sat back down and let my emotions go. I pictured the pictures of them together and his arm around her and I hit my head. I keep on seeing them and I hate it. They make me want to throw up.

"Ellie stop what are you doing?" Sam asked stopping my hands.

"Get off of me I hate you I don't give a fuck about you just like you don't care about me I hate everyone just like everyone hates me" I said and got up.

I walked to my car and whipped my eyes even though tears were still coming. I need to call Harry and just tell him something. I need him to tell me something. I drove off and played music. I just kept on driving not caring were I'm going. I ended up going to Lou's to drop off Harry's stuff off. But i did keep one of his shirts I know I shouldn't but I did. I knocked on her door and she opened up. I walked in and she took the box and I talked to her without crying. I am going to act like I don't care around my family. She hugged me and I left. Our matching rings are in there and my necklaces. Everything is in this box. Even our broken picture frame. I said goodbye and drove home. I had to stop for gas. Once I arrived home I sat in my car. I called Harry. At this time it was 1 in the morning here. It rang a few times and Harry answered softly.

"Hello?"

"Harry I need to know one thing"

"Ellie are you okay?"

"Just tell me please just tell me when we were in New York and you came into the bathroom and held me and told me all those things were they a lie or where they real? Or tell me when you were at the VMA's and you came back to the hotel and said you loved me and hated doing this to me was it real or a lie I just want to know"

"It was real. Every I love you was real I mean it"

"It doesn't seem like it because you did this"

"Ellie can I please explain?"

"I don't have time I just wanted to know if it was real or not but it's probably fake"

"No no baby it's not"

"Never call me baby again I trusted you I love you so much how?"

"Ellie I-"

I did say anything I just cut him off with a sigh. I can't bare to think this has happened but it has.

"When you come back I just want to talk to you I want you to explain in person I don't know if I can ever trust you again but I want to talk to you can we do that?" I asked knowing he will say yes.

"Oh course I'm sorry you are feeling so sad I hope you know I am beyond sorry I messed up but Ellie I didn't cheat on you"

"Yes you did I saw the pictures" I said throwing something.

"Ellie I'm sorry"

"I have to go"

"Okay bye have a nice night"

I hung up and laid in bed.