Life As A Teasdale

Ch.67

(Hiiii I would like to thank you for reading this! I might add songs for the chapters I won't do it all the time but I might try it out? Also when I write this I am not trying to send hate to anyone. Alright bye)

It's been a week since I talked to Harry. I don't know if we will ever get back together? I wish I could be happy with him and not everyone knowing what he does. I love that he's living his dream but I wish we could have just met a long time ago and lived a normal life. I don't want to be away from him forever because I love him. But if he doesn't want to be with me then he doesn't have to and I can't make him. I wish he could have let me go a little less painful. I guess some people don't care how I feel. I haven't been sitting at home all day and doing nothing because I have hope that we will get back together. I know it's been only a few weeks or so since I ended it with Harry but I have been spending time with Evan. I know its bad but I am lost and lonely. I know it that's why I'm trying to do something. I've been on a few dates with him but I wouldn't call them a "date" but I hope he doesn't feel like they are dates. I just miss him. I hope it's like how I see it happen on the tv, he comes back to me and I give in and we are happy again. But it won't. We won't have a big wedding or a we might not even have kids like we talked about. Does he miss me like I miss him? I wish I could know what he thinks because he has done so much with me. If I cant have him and she does then I give up on everything. I feel so ashamed. I know I shouldn't but I hate this.

I'm sitting in my room and watching a movie. It's Harry and I favorite movie. I wish he was next to me. I wish he was next to me. I remember when we first stayed the night together in this bed. His smile and his eyes. His touch is my everything. I let tears fall and I look at the tv. That could be Harry and I hugging and kissing. But his love for me has vanished and he has moved. I hope he is happy and found his girl because he left a great one. I loved him for him I loved him so much more than any girl can or could have. But it's Harry Styles like he would care. I got a phone call which make me stop the movie.

"Hello" I answered and didn't even see the number.

"Ellie we are going out tonight I don't care what you say we are going I need you to feel better" Phoebe said through the phone and I laughed.

"Phoebe I just want to sleep"

"No your mom called me and is worried you are coming"

"Fine what time?"

"I will text you the place be there at 7"

"Okay bye"

I looked at the clock and got up. I went to my closet and pulled out a dress. I looked in the mirror and felt fat. Ugh I hate this. I just put on jeans and a gray shirt. I looked in the mirror and frowned. I rubbed my hands over my face and sat on the bed. I saw Harry's flannel on my bed. I picked it up and looked at it. I brought it to my chest and smiled. It smells just like him. I slipped it on and looked in the mirror it looks good so I kept it on. I looked back in the mirror and my eyes were puffy. I just can't live without him. I don't feel like anything I'm lost without him. He is my other half he was my best friend. Nothing honestly feels right without him. I went to my bathroom and put on my makeup and tried to look better than I did before and feel. I remember when I first stole one of his shirts. Or when he let me have one. I stopped thinking because that's over.

I got ready and left. I arrived at the place she told me. I walked in and saw a few of my friends and their dates. I rolled my eyes as I walked over to them. Phoebe gave me a hug.

"You look good" She said taking a sip of her drink.

"Thanks"

"Is that Harry's shirt" She whispered into my ear.