Only The Goode Spy Forever

Chapter 108: The Little League

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in boiling other up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen." -Ephesians 4:29

        Every time I thought about my first-born son, sadness followed. Chase was my baby. He made me a mom. Now, he was getting married, and I didn't know when I would see him again. The grief was making me sick to my stomach. It felt like the only way to deal with the pain was to focus on my other babies. Riley will turn 12 this summer. He'll be old enough to go to Blackthorne. I think they can make excellent agents, even though they aim to make killers. Every time I bring it up, Zach argues with me and says that he will never let another one of his sons go to Blackthorne. Riley has grown into the spitting image of me. His hair is a bit of a darker brown than mine, but his blue eyes are exactly my own. His facial features are also nearly identical to mine, right down to the dimple on my left side. Jaycee is 9 now and the older she gets the more she is a mystery to me. Her bright blonde hair baffles me. My mother swears my grandma was a blonde and Zach thinks she got her hair from his mother. I must admit, in some lights I do see a red tint to her hair. I refuse to believe my kids resemble Catherine, so I disagree with him. Between her hair and her bright eyes, she looks more like Bree than she does her own siblings. When she smiles, though, that's all Zach.

       "Cam," Zach says, breaking me out of my thoughts. He arches an eyebrow and looks questioningly at me. "You ready?" I look down at the unfinished sandwich I had been attempting to make for 5 minutes.

       "Oh. No, not yet. I'm packing food I just got... distracted," I reply. Zach knows me better than anyone else in the world, so he sees right through me. 

     "He'll be fine, Gallagher Girl," Zach says softly. He wraps his arms around my waist and sets his chin on my shoulder. I don't have to ask who 'he' is. I know he's talking about Chase. It's in that moment that I realize how distant I've been since Chase told us he was running away.

     "I'm sorry," I whimper. Zach only holds me tighter.

     "There's nothing to be sorry about. Here, let me finish packing the snacks. You go check on Riley, I bet he's nervous. He never talks to me about that stuff. I know he gets nervous and scared, but he never lets me in. He just pretends that he's fine. When you tell me about how he opens up to you about his feelings, I get a little jealous. He just likes you better," Zach sighs.

      "He does not," I protest. "It's just hard for him to open up because he thinks that you're not scared of anything. When your dad is Superman, sometimes it feels good to talk to an underdog like Lois Lane."

      "You are not an underdog," Zach laughs. "You're way stronger than me. Now go, do what you do best." I nod and walk to Riley's room. He's sitting on his bed. He has on his Bullpups hat and jersey. He's wearing his new baseball pants and too much eye black. I notice his cleats on and grin.

      "What did I say about wearing cleats in my house?" I ask. "Put on your slides until we get to the field, please." 

      "Sorry," he mumbles. "Mom? Did dad ever play baseball like me?" 

      "No honey, he didn't," I sigh. "He always wanted to, but his mom was always too busy tending to other matters to allow it."

      "I bet dad would've been great," Riley states.

      "Yes, I'm sure he would have been. Are you nervous? This is your first little league game of the season."

      "No. It's only the first one, so I'll have all summer to get better. I'm just going to have fun."

     "That's my boy," I say, pulling him into a hug. "I love you, son."

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