Only The Goode Spy Forever

Chapter 119: The Feelings

"Pray without ceasing." -1 Thessalonians 5:17

PEYTON'S POINT OF VIEW

I always had a good life. I had a family that loved me, and we never had to worry about money. I had two sisters, so I was never really alone. I don't want to complain about my life at all, it truly was great. Still, I wouldn't wish the way I grew up on anyone. I was an incredibly confused little boy.

As a kid, I was always in the lower percentile for height and weight. I wasn't malnourished by any means; I was quite the opposite. My mother showered me in delectable food items any chance that she could get. She also loved playing "here comes the airplane" with her "little Peyty Waity." I ate like a king; I just always had such a fast metabolism. My twin sisters were three years older than me, and they were far stronger than any of the other kids their age, both girls and boys. They loved to show me how much bigger and stronger they were. I remember I would always run and cry to my mum.

I always felt like my mum was the only person in the world that understood me. She could tell whatever I needed without me having to say a word. I was such a scrawny kid that I felt like a disappointment to my father. He was a gorilla ever since he was born. My father was easily the strongest person I knew. His pride and joy were always my sisters, Adalind and Amelia. His "little monsters." He loved how tough and aggressive they were. Those two were always getting in fights at school and my father loved every second of it. I remember one weekend he took my sisters on a manly hunting trip. He didn't even ask me to come. I spent the weekend cuddled up on the couch with my mummy. She wrapped me up like a pig in a blanket and read books to me.

"Don't be angry that daddy didn't bring you with them, honey. You're just so young. Daddy is scared that the guns will be too big and heavy for you. Don't worry, though. You're still my big strong boy," I remember her soothing me. My dad never did take me on that hunting trip. It never mattered, though. I was still big and strong to my mum. She always knew exactly what to say.

The concept of love was difficult for me to wrap my head around. When we were at home, my mum would sit on my dad's lap while he watched ESPN. He would always show us his soft side for her. My dad showed love in the little things. It was the way he would grab my mum's hand whenever she was going down a flight of stairs. He showed it by moving her hair out of the way when her ponytail would get caught under her jackets or in her jewelry. He showed it by always giving up his seat for her if there weren't enough chairs. I took note of all of those things, yet it still didn't make sense to me. Whenever we were in public my parents acted like mere acquaintances. They would stand on opposite sides of a room and never even look at each other. I remember one time we were at a huge MI6 party and my dad never once danced with my mum. I now know that they ignored each other to keep each other safe. If people saw how much they cared, then it would put a target on their backs. They were cool and collected so that no one would see they had a weakness for each other. The night of the party, I snuck out of bed late at night to get a glass of water. I saw my parents dancing in the kitchen under a lamp light. They were slow dancing, humming their own tune. I think that will always be the memory I have that defines love. Love is protection.

I was terrified when my parents dropped me off at Blackthorne. Some of the boys there were actually juvenile delinquents. I was a scrawny little thing. If my father hadn't been a legend there, I never would have been accepted. I still remember Abrielle and Headmaster Marcus sizing me up. I saw the quick look pass my father's gaze. He was ashamed to have raised such a tiny son. He wished I was more like Chase Goode. Chase was my father's dream son. Not only was Chase good at everything, but he also excelled. I always looked up to him as a boy.