Only The Goode Spy Forever

Chapter 31: Dark Zach

(QUICK NOTE FROM THE WRITER: I am filling in a time gap. I feel like I haven't gotten to do a lot from Zach's personality. I really wanted to explore Zach's character and this chapter will be very in depth. This fills a time gap from when after Anna was born to right before Riley was born. HINT: this will be referenced in later chapters and will be important! I hope you like it! It's kind of dark and honestly really sad and kind of makes me hate Zach for a hot minute. Don't worry, I will always love Zach, even if he becomes a killer)

Zachary Goode sat at his fire place, filled with regret. He was staring at the family scrap book. For the first 6 years of Chase's life, Zach was hardly in any of the family pictures. He became a legend to his own children.

After Annalise's birth, Zach had refused to rest until Catherine was dead. He feared for the life of his family. He began his search for Catherine only a week after Anna was brought home from the hospital. He wasn't proud of what he did, it was a dick move to leave Cam to deal with everything, but he had to leave.

He lied to a lot of people, murdered more than he could count. He utilized his Blackthorne training. What was worse was that he channeled every bit of the darkness he had gotten from his mother to find her. He took innocent lives, and he would forever be ashamed. There was 1 mission where he fled to Rome. He remembered Townsend flying out there and tracking him down. When Townsend found him he yelled at him, lecturing as a father rather than as a senior operative.

Zach rarely came home. When he did he tried to avoid Cammie, not being able to see the hurt in her eyes. He was gone so often that Anna began calling Edward 'daddy' instead of Zach. Ed was there for Cammie when he wasn't, and he would forever be grateful. Zach had turned himself into something he wasn't, and he didn't want his family to see. Zach stared down at a picture. He closed his eyes, remembering that night.

Zach came home late 1 night, around year 5 of his search. He had blood on his hands. The blood of an old woman. She was only a bystander. The blood of an innocent. He crept through the house, trying to make it to the nearest bathroom to wash off his hands. Unfortunately, Cam was a spy. A lamp clicked on. He saw the terror and pain in her face.

"Zach!" She hissed. "What are you doing?" She looked down and saw the blood on his hands. She tried to hide the shame, but was failing. Zach's stoic personality that he had been using dropped as he looked at his hurt wife.

"I've done something awful, Cammie," he whispered. "I've done a lot of something awful."

"Was he-" Cammie started, but her voice cracked.

"She was an innocent," Zach spat. A tear rolled down Cam's cheek. He desperately wanted to wipe it away, but she deserved to be touched by better than the hands of a killer. Her pain turned to rage.

"Get out!" She shouted. She didn't care if she woke up the kids. Cam had had enough hurt and betrayal from Zach. Zach was hit by her words.

"You're telling your husband to get out of your life?" He asked in shock. Cammie shook her head.

"No, I'm telling the murderer to get out of my house!" She raged. Zach grabbed his bag and spun on his heels. It took all of him to try not to crumble to the ground and beg for forgiveness. Maybe that's why he hadn't seen the 5 year old boy standing in the hallway, watching it all.

Zach opened his eyes. He remembered that night well. He had fully expected Cammie to file for divorce. That would have been the smart thing to do. Still, the thing that he loved most about her was her loyalty, and she stayed loyal until the end. Zach flipped through the pages and saw another picture. It was right around Christmas. He remembered what happened after.

Zach had left for a mission soon after his fight with Cammie. He was gone for 5 months. After missing 10 call ins, the CIA pronounced Zach dead. Cammie was with the Townsend's when she got the call. Abby had seen the pain in Cam's face. Abby ushered the kids out of the room within seconds. Cammie held her composure until the kids were out of the room. It was said that she fell to her knees and screamed out in pain. Edward rushed to her side and held her. Cammie was 6 months pregnant. Ed claimed she screamed for at least an hour, but cried all day and all night. Zach closed his eyes and remembered the night he came back to her.

Cammie was in the gardens at the Gallagher Academy. The family was all visiting before school started. Zach knew that he had been pronounced dead. He was terrified to see her again. When he saw her bending down touching a rose, he finally found his voice.

"Gallagher Girl?" He said. He saw Cam's whole body stiffen. She began to shake.

"No," she said. "You're not real. This can't be real. You're dead. You're not here. Get out of my head!"

"It's real. It's me. I wasn't able to make my call ins, if I did, I would have blown my cover. I'm sorry," he said. Cammie finally turned around. Zach expected her to break down into tears and be grateful. He didn't expect her to deliver a hard kick to the stomach, even though she was pregnant, but that's exactly what she did.

"Where were you?" She screamed as she slapped him in the face. "I'm pregnant, can't you tell? We were all alone. You left your family alone! What the hell is wrong with you? You let us believe you were dead!" She swept his legs out from under him and he crashed to the ground.

"Cammie," he said. She slapped him again.

"No! You don't get to say anything! Do you have any idea what it's like to tell your kids that their father is dead? Do you know how horrible it is to hold them as they bawl their eyes out? And what about me? I cried for you, Zach! I mourned you!" She screamed. She threw her leg up and kicked him in the face. Blood sprayed out of his mouth. He could have stopped her. He could have grabbed her arms or fought her, but he didn't. He took every hit. He knew he deserved them.

"I'm sorry," he groaned. He got a kick to the stomach and got the wind knocked out of him.

"You're sorry? I lost my dad when I was in 6th grade, Zach. That killed me! You knew how much it hurt me! I had to do the same thing to my kids. You grew up without a father, you should know how hard it is. Our kids deserve better than that! That's all I've ever wanted, something better for them!" She yelled. She balled her fists and began banging on his chest.

  "Fight back!" She screamed. Zach closed his eyes and took every hit. "Fight back!"

"Mommy?" A girl cried. Cam stopped dead in her tracks. She gasped as she looked up and saw Annalise and Chase staring at their bloodied and beaten father in horror. They had witnessed their mother beating him.

"I'm so sorry!" Abby shouted. "I didn't know- I'm so sorry!" She grabbed the kids by the arms and ran them into the academy.

Cammie dropped to the ground and began bawling. Zach was there in an instant.

"You were dead, Zach," she whispered.

"I know. I'm alive though, I'm here," he murmured into her hair.

"Don't you dare ever do that again," Cammie cried as the tears fell down her face. Zach was silent for a moment.

"I won't," he promised. "I'm back. I'm me again. I promise I'll never lose myself again."

"If you do, I'll kill you myself," Cam said coldly. Zach knew she wasn't kidding.

"Good," he said softly.