Heir to the Khalil Throne✔️

32. More Than A Feeling

Cabo Verde.

It is where I ended up after the ferry dropped me off in Italy.

The first few days were rough but we made it through. Darian keeps looking for Darius as though he will walk through the door.

It is heartwrenching and I hate that I had to pull him away from his father and the more responsible parent out of the two of us.

In an effort to become the parent that Darian deserves from me, I enrolled for some mommy classes, asking for help will never be the wrong step and I desperately need help taking care of Darian.

In my first few classes, I have already made friends, who have helped me learn how to change Darian's diaper without wanting to gag. I never knew that I needed mom friends until I had mom friends.

Months go by with no contact with my family or his. I do however keep up with news about him. I want to know if he sends a sign or something. I also like looking at paparazzi pictures of him, he is handsome for a forty-six-year-old.

Our stay extends into the new year. Darian and I spent his first Christmas together and I got a tree, decorated and cooked some food for myself. It was one of the most depressing Christmases I have ever had to endure.

All I wanted was Darius, my friends amd alcohol.

His first word, no shocker, was Dada and it broke my heart how Darius was not here for it but I did record him saying it, so I can one day share it with him. I recorded his first steps and while they hurt experiencing them on my own, I can not wait to share them with my family, his family, and him.

By the time his birthday comes along, I am livid that we can not spend it with Darius but I am keeping it together for my little growing baby boy. His first birthday.

We have a birthday party at my house, all the kids in my mommy classes were invited and they all attended.

"This is an amazing party, Cara." I did change my name, in case anyone is looking for me.

"Thank you, with the amount of help I did not have, I am proud of myself." she claps for me before raising her hand, initiating a high five.

Our hands connect before we both turn our focus to the boys who are playing with the legos. They are the big ones so they do not choke.

I missed Darius' birthday. We were going to spend his birthday on an island, he said he did not want much but to spend time with Darian and me. I wanted to give him a great birthday since we could not celebrate his forty-sixth as I had just given birth two months before.

I spend my birthday wishing to be with Darius again and for Darian to stop teething.

Soon we are about to celebrate yet another Christmas without him.

"Your father would have loved your outfit, he would have loved our outfits."

"Yeah!"

"Yeah. He loves you so much."

"He love me?"

"So much my little baby boy, he loves you more than he loves himself." he goes on to play with his train set that Darius sent to my sister, who sent it to a friend of mine in Ethiopia who then had it mailed to me.

This is Darian's favorite toy. His father is his entire world. His bedroom is filled with pictures of Paw Patrol and Darius' pictures.

We are spending yet another birthday without him. He did send him a hot wheels collection with a note saying how much he loves him and how he can not wait to see him again.