₩Ⱨ₳₮ ₴₮₳Ɽ₮ɆĐ ł₮ ₳ⱠⱠ /₵ØɄ₦₮ⱤɎⱧɄ₥₳₦₴/

Part 56

The good thing is that I didn't get this chapter out late again. That wouldn't be good if I did like 2 times in a row. I don't really know what to say rn when I'm writing this so I hope you enjoy chapter 56.
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Soviet's POV

It's been a few days after what happened to Poland and everything has gone back to normal. The kids were back in the house doing what they normally do and I was here. I wanted some of it to change though.

It was night time and all the kids were put to bed and I was right here. Sitting up in bed inside the usual cold and dark room and like always I was alone. Reich didn't leave Berlin with me when we were both there. He said that there was a few more things he had to do there before he left and I should get the kids on my own which I did. He said that by the time I got home from getting them he would be here but obviously he's not.

Was he just really busy or did he just lie to me to make me feel better? It's been days since I got back and he hasn't stepped foot in the house. Why wasn't he here with me? Why didn't he want to stay with me?

Everything wasn't supposed to go back to normal. Reich was supposed to be here with me. Didn't I make him happy with what I did? Was what I did not enough for him, why was nothing I do ever enough for him? All I wanted was to be enough for him.

I really thought that after what I did he would be here. That I wouldn't be alone anymore but here I am, still alone.

It was like it was eating me up from the inside out. I just felt so alone when I really shouldn't be. Was I just not good enough for him? Maybe I just deserve this in my life I guess. I guess I just deserve to be alone, yelled at, hit, and hurt in so many ways.

It's not like I've never had blood on my hands.

I can still remember that day so clearly. The loud bang of the gun and how the once alive country dropped dead onto the ground. I was only 12 years old when I did that. Ever since then I've never directly killed someone.

But I guess this is just my karma huh? I do wish that I could be with Reich right now. I wish I could be with the one that cared and loved me so so much. The one I decided to settle down with and have a family. The person that I would cuddle to sleep every night and see bright and early in the morning. Someone that didn't neglect or hurt his children and gave them all the love and care in the world.

What happened to that person I fell in love with?

Instead I was here alone in this room soaking up in my own guilt and sadness. I felt guilty for what I did to Poland a few days ago. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think of what I did. I felt sad that I was taking care of my kids alone ontop of my own work. Shouldn't me and Reich be taking care of them together? Weren't we supposed to be doing things together?

I gripped onto the blankets as my eyes started to tear up. I really didn't know how much I could take of this anymore. I don't know how long I will last until I crack into tiny pieces.

I just felt so many negative emotions all at once that it was getting to much. All of it was becoming to much for me to handle. I just wonder why that couldn't make him happy. I just wanted to know what I could possibly do to make him want to stay with me. To be with me at least for a little bit everyday.

I looked at Reich's side table and a little chill went up my spine. I honestly didn't know if the gun was in there or not.

I hesitantly moved to Reich's side of the bed and opened one of the drawers in the side table. There was just some random things that were probably just chucked in there so I decided to close that drawer. I then opened the one below that and there was still no gun but there was a file.

Why was there a file in here, shouldn't it be in his office with the other ones? I picked it up and read the label on the file. This secret file is named Operation Barbarossa. I looked at it in confusion, what was Reich planning?

I position my hands on the file to open it but I stopped myself. I shouldn't be looking through Reich's things like this. I placed the file back into the drawer and closed it. If he wanted me to know about it then he would tell me.

I went back to my side of the bed and layed down under the covers. I didn't feel safe at all not one bit. I didn't know where that gun is at the moment and I personally preferred knowing were it was. Maybe Reich had it right now but who knows what else could be in here.

Why even was that file in there? Maybe it's something important and can't be put with the rest of them. But whatever that file contains I know I don't have to worry about it. Mine and Reich's countries are on somewhat good terms with each other from the invasion of Poland and that non-aggression pack.

I closed my eyes and sighed, relaxing into the soft mattress. I just imagined that Reich was right here with me. That he was in my arms after so many days.

I still love him, I love him so so much. I would do anything just for him to be with me right at this moment. Anything just to make him happy with me and want to actually be in my arms. I just want his love so so badly all the time.

I practically threw my life away for him and this family. I decided to be with him and only him and it will stay like that, it has to stay like that.

I opened my eyes again and looked at the wall. I would give up anything for him and he would do the same. I know he loves me, he has to love me.

We are both fine, I just have to hang in there for a bit longer than maybe I can get what I want.

???? ?? ???????

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Soviet stop being stupid, of course Reich doesn't love you. That's not really the case it will be explained later but still! Okay maybe Soviet's being a bit to hopefully of things. Soviet is a very optimistic person in the current time line which ends in a pit of fire but we don't talk about that. Let Soviet dream that everything will be okay. While he does that I will sit in a corner excited to write the next chapter. Anyways I sadly don't have any picture's at the moment so no pictures.

Anyways I hope that you have a good day/morning/night or whatever time you are reading this.

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From this lovely author,🌹Rose🌹 (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤