The lost son ~John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

93. I love my baby to death

After dinner I decided it was time to face Lilly.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the front door of the house that used to belong to me.
I thought that no one was home and I was about to walk away when I heard footsteps.

"Josh?" Lilly asked as if she couldn't believe her eyes.
"Hi, Lilly." I replied, faking a smile.
"What are you going here? Why haven't you told me that you came back?" She asked.
"I just arrived, it's my first day at home." I explained.
"Johnny's already asleep." She stated.
"Yeah, I expected that. I actually came to talk to you." I told her.
"To me? About what?" She asked. She was surprised to hear that.
"I figured you'd be mad I disappeared from Johnny's life for 6 months." I said.
"I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed." She told me.
"He deserves a better dad." I said and turned away from her.
Then, she said something I'd have never expected.
"You can come in if you wanna talk." Lilly told me and opened the door wide.
I nodded and followed her inside, locking the door behind me.
"I hope Steve is treating him better than I am." I said, looking down.
"He's very good with him. Johnny really likes him. But it's not the same." Lilly told me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Johnny just loves you very much. He never forgot about you. Not even for one day. He asks me to play him your songs every night before he goes to bed. And it hurts to see him miss you so much. It breaks my heart." Lilly said.
I looked down again and started to sob. I was a terrible dad. Maybe it would be better if I just disappeared from Johnny's life. He would be better off with Steve. At least he was there for him.
"I really don't wanna see you cry. I just had to tell you the truth. I wanted to tell you how I feel. I can't keep pretending that it's okay and that the situation doesn't affect Johnny." Lilly told me.
"I'm a shitty father... Don't tell Johnny I came back. I'll go now." I said and got up.
"No, wait, don't leave yet. I have something to tell you." Lilly said and grabbed my hand.
"What is it?" I asked.
It felt weird just sitting there and talking to Lilly without any arguing.
"It's father's day this Friday..." She told me.
"It is? Shit, I didn't even realize." I replied.
"All kids in Johnny's kindergarten are showing what theirs dads do for work." Lilly said.
"I don't deserve to be there. Steve should go..." I told her.
"Johnny was super sad that his real dad wouldn't be there." She replied.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah. You should go. I don't say it lightly." She told me.
"I could surprise him..." I said.
"Yes, that would be nice." She confirmed.
"Thank you, Lilly. You're the best mom to our son." I said.
"Oh, come on. I'm just trying my best." She told me and smiled.
"I know. I really wanna spend more time with Johnny. I just needed to get away from LA for a while... To clear my head." I said.
"And did it help?" She asked.
"Yes, I feel like a new man. I'm much happier than I was." I explained.
"I'm glad to hear that. So, you can take him somewhere after kindergarten and bring him back for dinner." Lilly said.
"Since it will be Friday can I have him for the whole weekend, please?" I asked.
"I don't know, Josh. He hasn't seen you in so long..." She said.
"I know, that's why I want to spend some time with him. Alone. Just the two of us." I stated.
"What about Maggie? Are you still together?" Lilly asked.
"Yeah, we are. She's taking a trip to San Francisco with her mom. They wanna spend some quality time together too. But we're good." I explained.

*

I was so stressed. I stood there, squeezing the neck of my Stratocaster, waiting for my turn.
"Okay, Johnny, why don't you introduce your daddy now." I heard the kindergarten teacher say.
"Hello everyone. My name is Johnny and my dad's name is Josh. He's a famous rockstar. That's why he's not..." Johnny said in his cute high pitched voice.
That's when I started playing Can't Stop and walked into the room.
"Daddy?!" Johnny screamed when he saw me.
I smiled at him and nodded. He then picked up his little plastic guitar and pretended to play along with me. We headbanged and jumped and caused all of the other kids to dance and sing along with us.
"Thank you Johnny and Josh, that was amazing! Next up, Tommy." The teacher said.
I sat next to Johnny in that tiny chair with my knees touching my chin and held his hand as we watched the rest of his friends introduce their dads.

"Daddy, I'm so happy you came!" Johnny told me as we got into my car.
"I couldn't miss it. I love you, baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I was overseas in London. But I came back to you. Now I'm gonna see you as often as possible." I said.
"I missed you, daddy. I love you." John told me and hugged me.
"I love you too, honey. You're my whole world." I said and gave him a kiss.

We slept together, cuddled up in bed, after having watched a movie marathon. I gently stroke Johnny's hair and kissed the top of his head. I was so lucky to have a son like him. When I looked at him, I no longer regretted having him so young. How could I? He was just perfect. He was my best friend. I know how cliche it sounds, but it was true. I could tell him everything. I couldn't wait for what life had planned for us.

I was gonna surprise Johnny on Saturday. I was taking him to his first concert. And it wouldn't be just a regular show. It would be the Chili Peppers' opening show of the upcoming Stadium Arcadium world tour. I also invited Lilly and Steve to come with us.

"Daddy, my guitar is gone!" Johnny yelled as we entered my house.
"I know, baby. Grandpa borrowed it for Hope." I lied.
"You're lying! Hope's too little to play my guitar!" Johnny told me.
"I swear!" I said.
"Daddy, tell me the truth." He told me.
"You'll find out later today, okay? That's all I'm gonna say. You'll get your guitar back, don't worry." I said.
"Are we going somewhere?" He asked.
"Yes, I'm taking you to a very special event." I said.
"Oh, no! All my nice clothes are at home!" Johnny told me.
"Don't worry about it, it's not that type of event." I explained.
"Daddy, tell me where we're going!" He demanded.
"No, it's a surprise. But mommy and Steve are going with us." I said.
"Really?" He asked.

After dinner we got into my car and drove to the Forum, where we met up with Lilly and Steve outside the VIP entrance.
"Hey, y'all." I said and Johnny hugged them.
"Hey, Josh! Thanks so much for inviting us! I'm really excited!" Steve said as he shook my hand.
"Hey, Josh and Lilly! It's been a while. Is that little Johnny?" Our security guard, Larry, asked.
"Yes, this is our son, John." I replied.
"How do you know my mommy?" Johnny asked.
"Mommy was once living the rockstar's girlfriend lifestyle, baby." Lilly said jokingly.
"What does it mean?" Johnny asked her.
"When I was traveling with your dad while he was on tour, Larry was our security guard." Lilly explained.
Johnny nodded his little head and followed me into the stadium.
"Are we going to a basketball game?" Johnny asked.
"No, baby. It's something better than that." I said.
"But you said there's nothing better than basketball!" He told me.
"Okay, maybe there's one thing. Come on, put on those earmuffs, it's about to get really loud." I said as we approached the stage.
John and the guys were supposed to start the show right then. Johnny was so freaking excited when he heard the opening sounds of Can't Stop.
"Daddy! Mommy! It's grandpa playing! I'm at a concert! Thank you! Thank you! I love you!" He yelled and smiled widely.

At the end of Give it Away Flea yelled: "Welcome to the stage, Josh Klinghoffer and his son Johnny Klinghoffer!"
Johnny looked at me with his mouth wide open.
"What? I get to play on the big stage?!" He screamed and started jumping for joy.
"Come on, baby! Get your guitar!" I said and smiled at him.
We entered the stage, holding hands and our guitars.
Johnny stood between Anthony and John and started playing his little guitar. He headbanged so hard that his earmuffs came off. We had a great time. Me and John played the solo together, jumping and dancing.
I could see Lilly recording the whole thing and smiling at us.

"Thank you, Johnny, that was an amazing guitar solo. How long have you been practicing?" Anthony asked Johnny, kneeled down next to him and handed him the microphone.
"A very long time, uncle Tony." Johnny replied.
The audience cheered and shouted his name.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny and Josh Klinghoffer!" Anthony said.
I walked up to Johnny, grabbed his hand and we both bowed to the audience.

"Mommy, I'm a rockstar!" Johnny yelled and jumped into Lilly's arms.