The lost son ~John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

29. I found the rest of me

Everyday I'd message Lilly and she'd send me pictures of herself and Johnny. She had her first ultrasound and doctor told her it was a girl. I wanted to see them so badly.

After 3 weeks I've begged my therapist to let me go. I've overcame the temptation but being apart from my family made me really depressed. I was so relieved that I could finally see them.

I didn't tell anyone I was coming. I've parked on the driveway and carefully opened the door. I've heard my son giggling. I went to the living room and there he was, playing with my dad.

As soon as Johnny saw me, he crawled to me and screamed 'papa'.

- Oh my God, Lilly come here, Josh's back!

Dad shouted and gave me a hug.

Lilly squeaked and ran to me.

- I was missing you so much...

I said.

- Me too. I'm so glad that you're fine.

- They've let me go early because I couldn't function without you.

- I love you, Joshy.

- I love you too, baby.

*

Me and Lilly prepared dinner while our son was sleeping and we've decided to invite John and Emily over. She was barely walking. She was due in 2 months, but her stomach was already huge.

- Hey, Em, how are you feeling? Is John being a good dad yet?

- I'm great. We're trying to cherish every moment. You father keeps kissing my stomach and singing to the baby.

- Don't forget about cooking your favorite foods!

He added, kissing her cheek.

- Have you picked a name for this little girl?

- Yeah, we both agreed on Hope.

- Hope? Wow it's such a beautiful name!

Lilly said.

- I feel the hope, running low... Do you remember our song, dad?

- Oh right! I can tell her that her brother helped me write a song about her.

- Brother. That sounds so weird. My little girl will be just a few months younger.

- Yeah. And have you thought about a name?

- No.

I answered.

- Actually I did.

Lilly interrupted.

- Did you?

- Yes. I think that we should name her Anne. It would be a great tribute to your mom...

- No, stop it, Lilly. Stop talking about my mom.

- But why?

- She was a toxic person. I've talked about my relationship with my mom to a therapist. She was mentally ill. She separated us from everyone. She had a breakdown when John broke up with her and since then was acting abnormally. Is it normal that you leave your best friends and family without a word? I didn't know anything about her life. I didn't know that your mom was her friend. I still don't know if I have grandparents, aunts, uncles. She never told me. She didn't want me to have friends. She made me so self-conscious. I loved her and I knew that she loved me too but it was really toxic.