The lost son ~John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

87. Deep inside of a parallel universe

"Tricky calling shots with a myopic vision
Must be hard to see what's staring back in the mirror
Every night

Oh my, it'll all be different from this moment forward
Let your guard down, turn around, jump shot
What's right
It just might not matter

And the grass is green everywhere you're not
And the dark shows us how to lie
And it's all in the breeze, said the tornado
Then it winked at me, loss of life

Tricky pulling words just like that out of the sky
How's this ever gonna make sense to both you and I
All the time
You and I

And the grass is green wherever you go
And the next excuse, colour blind
And mistakes are made, and from that we grow
Like the grass upon the crash site

Turn the light off in the bedroom
Unless I can run and hide
Being here and not here
Here and far off, same time
I never want to hurt you but I'm gonna make you cry

Being here and not here
Two Much
One Life

A new day, a new day, is fast approaching
Along the way
I heard we all tell ourselves stories to live
And survive

Scrape your conscience clear, so there's no trace of
And we never learn, time and time
And that's not it, said the outcome
And know in your heart what is right
Who warms, who shades, and just never learn
Black and white make grey, act surprised
And decisions made, are they prescribed
Who presides, resides, turns on the lights

And the night won't scare me away
The night won't scare me away..."

The night I came back home I wrote the best song I've ever written.
My face still hurt after the hard slap I had received from my mother. I didn't blame her. But I also didn't care. I didn't care if I lived or died.
I realized that everyone I loved and cared about was gone.

I fell asleep with my head on my desk.
I woke up because the sun was shining directly into my eyes. I blocked the light coming from the window with my hand and finally opened my eyes.
"What's going on?" I thought to myself.
It wasn't the same room as I fell asleep in. This wasn't my childhood bedroom. In fact, I didn't recognize that place at all. So were the last 5 days just a dream? Where was I?
My hand was much bigger than just yesterday. Was I older? Was it another sick dream of mine?

"Morning." I heard a sweet voice say.
I looked to my left and saw a smiling Maggie.
Were my eyes deceiving me? Was she real?
"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." She said and started laughing.
"Mag, I've had the weirdest dream..." I told her, running my fingers through her hair.
"No wonder, you slept for like 12 hours." She said and kissed my lips.
"I thought I'd never see you again! That was horrible!" I told her.
"Oh yeah? Well I'm glad it was just a dream." She said and got up from the bed.
"Me too." I replied.
"Mary went to get us something for breakfast. That's so nice of her. Oh, and by the way, John called. He wanted to talk to you." Maggie told me.
"I really don't wanna talk to him right now." I said.
"Josh, baby, what's wrong? Your dad's worried, I told him about the credit card situation. He wanted to send you money..." She spoke softly.
"I don't need his money." I said.
"You're being an ungrateful prick." She commented.
"You don't understand what happened." I told Maggie
"Nothing happened! We've had a great time last night!" She yelled.
"Mag, I literally went back in time to when I was 16 and still living with my mom!" I shouted.
"What? No, you were here with me the whole time. Did you hit your head? Or maybe that weed was really laced?" She said, trying to find a logical explanation.
"No, it was real. But I felt as if I've been in a parallel universe. Because John... Well, he wasn't my father." I revealed.
"What?" Mag asked.
"I confronted mom about him and she had no clue who I was talking about." I told her.
"She might have been lying, Josh." She suggested.
"No, she wasn't. She showed me photos of my real dad. Turns out I look more like him than John. He was her classmate." I said.
"But you and John took the DNA test..." Mag told me.
"Maggie, I drove to LA. I wasted 4 days just to learn that John didn't know anyone by the name of Anne Klinghoffer. He yelled at me, called me fucked up in the head and threatened to call the cops on me. I didn't recognize him, he wasn't the same John Frusciante we know." I said and covered my face with my hands.
"So you're telling me that there's a parallel universe in which John is not your father and you never recorded any songs with him?" Mag asked.
I nodded.
"What are we even talking about? It was just a dream, J. A very real one, but still a dream." Maggie told me.
"No, it was real. I wanted to wake up many times but I was stuck in that reality. I don't know what happened to me but I'm really scared it's gonna happen again." I said.
"Baby, look at me. You had a bad dream but it's okay now. I'm with you. Do you wanna talk to a doctor?" Mag suggested.
"No, I'm not insane!" I yelled.
"Okay, okay, nobody's calling you insane! Geez, Josh, get over it. You're scaring me." Maggie told me.

I was scaring her? What was wrong with me? Was I going insane like John did in the 90s?
As much as I didn't wanna talk to him after what I saw in my dream, I knew I had to.

I put a hoodie and a pair of shoes on and walked onto the balcony, closing the door behind me. I wanted to be alone with my own thoughts.
Maybe I inherited his mental illness. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his early 20s. However, he seemed completely normal to me. Yeah, sometimes he'd hear voices and even ask them for advice, but, other than that, he was a regular guy. Of course, John was a true artist who didn't think the way you and I do. He was a visionary. But I wasn't. John knew exactly how he wanted his albums to sound, from the first note to the last one. I've never been able to do that.
Suddenly my phone rang. It was John.
"Hey." I said.
"Josh, is everything alright?" Dad asked me out of the blue.
"Why are you asking?"
"I can't sleep, I've got this eerie feeling that something's happened to you." He said.
"No, I'm fine. Other than having blocked my credit card..."
"It's not 'bout that. I'd really like to be wrong, but I can sense those things..."
"What things? What are you talking about, John?" I asked him.
"Just tell me, please."
"You should really go to sleep, it must be like 4 AM in LA right now."
"I know that something happened."
"Alright, fine, I'll tell you. But it's really nothing. I just had the weirdest and most real dream ever."
"Did I do something to you in that dream? Was it so real that you thought it was really happening and you couldn't wake up?"
"Yeah, exactly. I woke up as a 16 year old and my mom, Anne, she was still alive. I asked her about you and she swore she had no idea who you were..."
"Go on."
"No, I... I can't. Maggie's right, it doesn't mean anything, it was just a stupid dream."
"Maggie doesn't understand shit." John said.
"Do you hear what you're saying? You're talking about my girl." I attacked him.
"Josh, I believe that there are more universes than this one, just like there are more dimensions than the 3 we know of. I've been to different universes over the years and I know exactly what you're talking about." John explained.
My jaw dropped as he said those words.
"How do I switch between them?" I asked.
"I'm not entirely sure. I haven't done that in years..."
"Dad, tell me, did drugs make you able to do that?"
"Yeah... I guess. Wait... So... That means... You did drugs?!" John realized.
I was ashamed to admit so, but he already knew the truth.
"I smoked weed dad..."
"Josh, listen to me. You have to stay away from drugs. They'll make you go crazy, just like they made me."
"I know... But I'm scared..." I said.
John exhaled and started sobbing.
"It's my fault. You inherited my mental illness... I don't want you to go through the same shit I went through... I should've never had any children..." John said.
"No, dad, you couldn't have known. I'll be alright. I'll stay off drugs, I promise." I told him.
"Josh, I'm so sorry. I love you." John said and hung up.

I didn't know what to think about this. Was I really going crazy? Or was it just a very real dream?
I went back inside and noticed Maggie staring at me.
"Babe, I'm sorry. You're right, it was just a dream. I was just very confused at first, when I just woke up..." I said.
"That's okay, I get it. Hey, Mary's back. We should eat something." Maggie told me and smiled.

We went to the kitchen where Mary had already placed all of the food on the table.
"Well, good morning sleepyheads. I got you some hash browns, eggs and bacon." She told us.
"Thank you so much, Mary. That's so sweet of you." Maggie told her.
"Yeah, thanks a lot. I'm gonna get breakfast for you tomorrow." I said and shot her a smile.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm just happy you're here. I was so sick of living alone. You guys are the best flatmates I could imagine." Maggie said.
We ate the food and talked about music. I began feeling like Mary could be my sister. We were so much alike it was crazy.

"So, what's your plan?" Mary asked.
"What do you mean?" Maggie asked her.
"Are you gonna look for a job?" Mary added.
"Yeah, that's the plan. Maggie's gonna go to a casting for the London Fashion Week. And me... I don't really know, I can do whatever. I've only ever worked at a music store." I told Mary.
"My boss is looking for a bartender, I could recommend you if you were interested..." Mary proposed.
"That'd be great! Thank you very much, MJ!" I said.
"No problem, I'll talk to him today."

A bartender? That sounded like an awesome job for me. I didn't mind working until the early hours of the morning. I was excited to start a new job here in London.