The lost son ~John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

43. Everyday depression in a beautiful dress

I finally passed out around 6 AM. I had nightmares. I woke up drenched in sweat. Emily had been sitting next to me and stroking my back.

- Can you hug me?

I asked her.

She laid next to me and wrapped her arms around my small body.

- Poor thing, you'd been crying in your sleep.

Emily said.

- Not only in my sleep. I was crying my eyes out all night.

I responded, cuddling my head into her stomach.

- Lilly came here in the morning and confirmed what you told me last night. I threw her out and closed the door. How could she...She was my best friend!

Em told me, stroking my head.

- She still can be. I don't want you to loose a friend...

I said.

- After how she treated you, I don't want to talk to her.

She responded and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Then John entered the room.

- Hey, how are you doing today? Feeling any better?

He asked me and sat on the bed on which we had been laying.

- Nah, I'm a wreck. I don't know what to do now. How am I gonna find a place to stay so fast?

- You can stay here.

John responded, squeezing my hand.

- That's too close to Lilly. I'd have to be seeing her...

- You'll have to see her anyway if you want visit your baby.

- I know... That's so fucked up. My life is over.

I said and started to cry again.

- Shh...

Emily whispered into my ear.

*

Later that day I managed to get up and take a shower. I was trying to figure out what to do. I couldn't visit Flea, he just had a baby. The only person I could go to was Anthony. Our relations weren't the best since the New Year's eve. But I couldn't stay at John's.

I had to go home and take my car keys. I hoped Lilly wouldn't be home.

I opened the door and walked into the corridor. I quickly grabbed the car keys and was about to get out of there when I felt someone pulling at the leg of my pants. I turned around and saw John.

- Hey honey. No matter what happens, I want you to know that daddy loves you. Me and mommy are not gonna be together anymore, but I'll spend as much time with you as possible. You can always talk to me. You are my everything. Oh, how I wish you could understand me right now...

I said and picked him up. I hugged my son and kissed him. He smiled and began playing with my hair.

- Daddy has to go. I love you.

I said, putting him down.

- Josh, wait!

I heard Lilly say. She was standing right behind me.

- What do you want?

I asked angrily. She came up to me and kissed my lips. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away.