48. You are on the road

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A laughter has woken me up. I knew whom it belonged to. I rubbed my eyes and saw that I was laying on the floor. John was standing over me and laughing.

- Fuck, my head is killing me.

I heard Emily saying. She was laying on the bed.

- Oh my gosh, it looked like a crime scene. You were laying with your faces down, empty bottles on the floor. Sorry, I can't stop laughing.

Dad said, holding his stomach.

- Where is Hope?

Em asked, trying to get up.

- Calm down, she's still sleeping. I'm gonna get you some water.

John told her and left the room.

- I love you, you're the best!

Emily shouted after him.

- Shut up, you're gonna wake her up.

I said, standing up. Em must have been still drunk. It was funny seeing her like that.

- Don't talk to your mother like that!

She told me and we began laughing again.

*

I took a shower, had breakfast and made sure that I've packed everything. I needed to head out to the airport.
Last night was awesome. I was going to miss Emily, John, my sister and my baby.

- John, can you give me a ride?

I asked dad as I walked up on him.

- Sure, that was the plan. I'll help you with the bags.

He answered and grabbed my backpack and a guitar case.

When we were sitting in his Jeep and John began driving down the neighborhood, all of the sadness and doubts I had deep inside myself woke up.

- I can't do this...

I said with a serious tone. Then dad told me something I'd never expect.

- You don't have to. I'm worried about you too.

I cleared my throat.

- No. I need to stop being a wimp. I have to be self dependent. But how? Tell me.

I said. John suddenly pulled into someone's driveway and stopped the car. He squeezed my hand, looked me in the eyes and said:

- I understand you. You've got my personality and the sensitivity that no one has. I was always scared, depressed, fighting my inner demons. I'd like to protect you from all the world, but I can't. And it kills me. I'll be worrying sick. The only advice I can give you is not to do drugs. They make everything worse. You'll go crazy. I kept hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself. I don't want you to go through this.

- So what should I do?

- Fuck the tour and stay with me.

- That's not an option.

- Josh, this is the worst time of your life. I know you need support. You should talk to a therapist and relax, not travel the world. I'm so scared. I have this feeling that something bad is gonna happen.

- Oh, come on, I'll be fine. It's just my sick brain telling me I'll fail. I'm sorry for what I told you. I want to go. You'll be proud of me.

- I hope so. Look, if anything was wrong, call me and I'll get into a plane to come and get you.

- Fine. Can we go now? I don't wanna be late.

The lost son ~John Frusciante and Josh KlinghofferWhere stories live. Discover now