The Words I Speak

Heartstopper

I don't know if you can see me

Do you even know I exist ?

You're saying hi to me, hi

Am I not invisible ?

I feel like an autumn leaf

Fallen and soon forgotten and crushed

What are you doing trying to revive me back to life ?

I squander any chance of hope I get because

All I hear is that tiny voice in the back of my mind and it repeats

"You're not worth something so good you don't deserve it"

That voice in my head was my reality at some point

All the names I've been called and all the stares and whispers

You can blame me for any wrong in your life

I already think it's my fault

There's nothing I can control but the food I devour

>why would you ever like me ?<

>are you pitying me ?<

>I'm weighing you down just by being in your life<

>why would you ever like me ?<

I'm scared

Can I ask you to kiss me ?

Is that an option ? Am I allowed?

Is it okay that I feel heavenly ?

Your lips on mine, the butterflies thrill

I ruined us I ruined everything

>it's all my fault<

>I shouldn't have asked<

>please don't leave me here alone<

>it's all my fault<

¿You like me¿

Don't wake me up

I don't want to be in a reality where you walk away

Hush it's a secret

I'm slowly turning green

Should I hold back ?

Maybe I should

But you're all I've ever wanted

Please tell me that your sky is true

Do excuse my tears I don't know what is this I'm feeling

The smile has found its way to my face

I'm worried that if you get a glimpse into my burdens

It'll make you turn on your heel and head to a place that I can't reach

I see that having you walk by me is causing you trouble

You're dropping your friends and getting into fights

I don't want you to get hurt so I'll see myself out of the door

You'll have your old life back the one you had before me

This is too much pain seeing you and fighting myself to not look at you

You saved my breath in ways you'll never realize

And I want to pay you back

I'm feeling yellow again

With your courage, I face my past but I'm alone now

It's only a dream for you to walk away from what means the most to you

And run to me to tell me and make me believe

"My life is way better because you're in it"

Is this not a dream ?

It's really not ?

"I need you to believe me"

I hear you

I see you

I feel you

"I believe you"

I do