It hurts now that I'm thinking about it
That maybe I could've done more
Like
More research
More time
More effort
More breath
More patience
More love
More affection
More space
More distraction
More solving
More present
More enjoying
More being
More there
More everything
Y'know
I realize now I screwed up too
But let's not forget that we were both kids
Back then, we had no idea
We were just children
I guess this blame-shifting game should end
It's not your fault nor it is mine
Something took place and things happened
And it's affecting us to this day, I mean
It still affects me I don't know about you
I just really want you to know that I'm hurt
By a lot of what you did and said
There's this need in me to tell you all of it
It feels like it's going to weigh over me
Until the day I actually spell it all out
There's something I'm dying to hear
What is your side of the story ?
I can only assume and guess
But I don't really know what you think
I honestly don't want to be friends again
I don't want us to associate with one another
And if there's no need for it,
Let's not be in the same room together
If in the case that that happens, then I guess
Let's not be so awkward about it
Well maybe I'm the awkward one here
That I can't seem to pull my leg to my side
Or breathe normally without burning my lungs
Nor getting goosebumps when you're close
I should be awarded an Oscars
For the show I put on when you're around
I didn't think acting would be that tiring
Till the director yelled "Action"
Without a script prepared
Thrown onto an unknown stage
Improvising in front of a live audience
Was certainly the cherry on top
When the minutes feel like hours
And the seconds take forever
While everyone seems to know the drill
I'm the only one left in the dark
Ironically, the spotlight shines on me
I can only do so much
Doing things in the spur of the moment
Hasn't been what I preached
But, coincidently, it's my life's motto
Now I'm eagerly waiting
For the red curtains to close
YOU ARE READING
The Words I Speak
PoetryWhile I'm silenced out there I'll speak my mind in here This reputation of the quiet Just let it disappear I've got a lot ahead of me Many things that I fear As I'm walking down this road I can finally see things clear . . . . . The Words I S...