The Bet (Book 1 in The Deception Series)

Chapter 38: losers and no sleep

Garrett

~~~~~~~

"Frances"- ROLE MODEL

I somehow managed to get out of bed today and actually go to class. I was so tired and sick. I've been drinking constantly and when I finally managed to go to sleep, I'd wake up in sweat from nightmares about my fuckass father. I felt like I was relapsing or something.

I sit in communications class and stare at her empty seat. My headphones sat in my ears with ROLE MODEL's song, "Frances" playing through them. Frances was her middle name. I've been listening to this song since she left. It was my version of coping.

I could picture her sitting there in her seat, listening to the professor as she took notes. I always watched her during class, never paid attention and afterwards, I'd ask her to send me her notes. I always like reading her notes. Her handwriting was so pretty and neat. Whenever she gave me her notebook, I made sure to write small notes to her. They weren't anything about the class, it was about her. I'd write about how I liked her hairstyle she did that day, or the outfit she wore. It was small things, but they meant the most to me.

After class, I packed my things and made my way out of the lecture hall. As I walked down the stairs, my heart stopped when I saw her walking up the stairs. I saw her first before she finally noticed me, I didn't realize that I had stopped walking. I was just looking at her. My heart was aching in pain.

She looked at me and I wanted to run to her and tell her how much I love her. But I didn't. She had her hair up in a messy ponytail and had sweatpants and a hoodie on. She looked beautiful. I probably looked like shit from the lack of sleep I was getting. She quickly looked away and rushed past me inside the building I had come out of.

I watched the doors close behind her, I wanted to run after her but I kept thinking about what she said to me. She never wanted to see me again.

I sigh before I walk down the stairs and make my way to my car. I had one more class but I couldn't go now. I kept thinking about her, there was no way I would be able to sit through another class.

I get into my car and sigh as I stare out the window. I felt so useless, I couldn't do anything to get her back. I had nothing to fight for anymore. I lost the one thing that kept me going.

I drive home and the second I walk through the front door, I rush to the kitchen and start looking for a bottle of alcohol. Once I find it, I start chugging it down, ignoring the burning sensation in my throat.

Once I'm drunk, I sigh in releif. This was probably the worst way for me to cope but it was better than having to deal with the pain.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hear a voice ask.

I look up and see my roommates standing there, frowning at me. They were probably sick and tired of my behavior but I didn't care about pleasing anyone. I would only hurt then anyway.

"You guys want to have a drink with me?" I slur.

"Gray, what the fuck, man?" Jake snaps at me.

I shrug, "What? I'm offering to share."

"Dude, we have hockey practice and you're wasted right now." Brennen says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

I glared at him, he had some nerve to even be talking to me right now. I had nothing to say to him.

"Fuck off." I yell at him.

"Dude, you gotta stop this now. It's almost been a month since you've seen her." Chris explains.

I shake my head, "Nope, it's actually been an hour since I saw her outside of the lecture hall and she walked away from me. She looked at me like I was a stranger."

Jake sighs, "Dude. You gotta move on."

"No. I can't. I can't let go of her."

"Dude. You're losing your shit." Brennen says.

I look at him, "Since when do you care about me? You're the reason this is all happening!"

He scoffs, "How is this my fault? You were the one who made the bet! Not me!"

"I was going to tell her about that night! But you just had to ruin it!"

"How the fuck was I supposed to know that?" He shouts.

I feel my anger build up as I hear him yelling at me. I don't hesitate to rush over to him and punch right in the face. He goes to punch me but Chris quickly pulls him back.

"Stop!" Chris yells.

Jake comes over to me and holds me back as I glare at my friend, "Fuck you, Brennen! Fuck you!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

I shove Jake off me, "Let go of me!"

He lets go before I look at Brennen who was holding the side of his jaw that I punched. I lean against the wall as tears form in my eyes. All my emotions are losing control. I didn't understand anything I was feeling. Without thinking, I slam my fist into the wall, punching a hole right through it.

"Garrett!" Jake yells as he grabs me and pulls my hand to him.

He examines it as blood seeps out from my knuckles, I could feel the pain of my fucked up knuckles but it didn't compare to the pain my heart was feeling.

"Chris, get the first aid." Brennen says as he comes up to me.

I fall to the ground against the wall and lean my head back against the wall.

"Gray?" Jake asks as he looks down at me.

I ignore him and pull my knees to my chest. I hug them as I bury my face into my knees before tears escape my eyes and I silently cry like a fucking loser.