My forever || Caius Volturi

Chapter 36

(Juliana's POV)

Jasper and I started our day early. At seven o'clock in the morning Jasper came to my room and we just sat on the couch side by side while looking out the big window to the forest.

I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder and Jasper on top of my head.

"I have missed you." Jasper said, breaking the silence.

"I've missed you too." I answered and smiled.

"The others went to hunt. So we have time to talk." Jasper explained.

I nodded. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You don't have to answer if it makes you any uncomfortable, but I would like to know how... how did you react when you heard that I was dead?"

Jasper took in a quick unneeded breath.

"I don't remember much of that moment." He started, speaking quietly. "But Alice told me that my legs betrayed me and I collapsed on the floor and just stared into the distance. Not speaking. I took in many unneeded breaths and then before anyone could even do anything I ran out of the house. I don't remember where I went or what I did there."

I stayed silent, listening to my brother.

"When I came back I was furious. Alice and the others said that I was almost like a different person. I- I apparently shouted and told that I was going to kill Caius." Jasper lowered his head in shame. "I apparently shouted that he was supposed to keep you safe but he didn't. Then I leaned against the wall and lowered myself down on the floor. Pulled my knees against my chest and buried my face in my knees."

If I could cry, my eyes would be filled with tears. Seeing my brother in so much pain broke me.

"'Make the pain go away.' I begged Alice when I curled myself in her arms into a ball. My face resting against her chest. She desperately trying to comfort me." Jasper grew quiet.

"Oh Jasper." I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"I'm so sorry." Jasper apologized, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"What? Why are you apologizing?" I asked.

"I threatened to kill Caius."

"Oh Jazz. You weren't being yourself. You were in shock." I hugged him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders. "I want you to know that you are okay, that I'm not angry at you, not even the slightest bit. Okay?"

Jasper nodded his head. "Okay."

"You can feel my emotions. I'm not mad, I'm not disappointed." I reassured him, making him nod his head again.

"You are too good to me." He took my hand and placed a kiss on top of it. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve everything Jasper. You deserve all the happiness in this world. Don't even think that you don't."

Jasper placed a kiss on my forehead.

We sat there for a while longer. Not saying anything. Just enjoying each other's presence. We were together again and everything was good. We were both starting to heal.

"How are you feeling?" Jasper asked. "About all of this."

"I don't know how to feel. People are saying that I have some sort of memory loss and that's why I can't see Caius. I just don't understand how a memory loss has anything to do with me seeing with my own eyes."

"Carlisle said something about memory loss after trauma. About you not coping with your past trauma the right way. It's not that you don't remember him, you just don't recognize him."

"I know." I nodded. "Demetri said the same. It's all just so confusing and overwhelming. I guess we should talk about it someday. All of us together so I could possibly understand better."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "That is a good idea. You should be able to get an answer to all of your questions about it."

"Can you be there with me?"

"Of course. If you want me to. I'll be there for you." Jasper nodded. He was silent for a minute before speaking up again. "Juliana?"

"Yes?" I turned to look at him.

"Everything will be okay. Do you believe me?"

I didn't say anything at first but then nodded slowly. "Yes."

Jasper has never been wrong.