Why can't I let myself do the things I want to do?
Why can't I let myself be happy?
Why can't I let myself see you?
Why can't I get myself out of my house?
Why can't I get myself up?
Why can't I get myself ready?
Why am I like this?
Why am I so distant?
Why am I fighting myself?
These thoughts and many like it fill my mind
Why?
Why do I sabotage good opportunities?
Why do I inevitably hurt you?
Why do I leave?
Why?
Why do I get caught in these cycles?
Why do I get caught up in my mind?
Why do I get caught up in what could happen?
Why do I button myself up?
Just to pull the bandages off and dig further
Bleeding all over the place
Why do I take a few steps forward?
See the progress
Then run back
Why am I afraid of changing?
Why am I afraid of letting people see me?
Why am I afraid?
I don't want to be like this anymore
But I don't know how to be different
