Fade into the fan in front of the base, which the Robot Army (eventually) walks past.
Robot Army: Charge.
O'Malley: Hu hu hoh, for God's sake. Will you hurry up! Lopez, I'm disappointed in your work. These minions are much too slow.
Lopez: Yo creo que se están moviendo muy bien. [I think they are moving along nicely.]
O'Malley: You fool! You don't even have legs, and you still got up here faster than them!
Lopez: Tú eres el cerebro en esta operación. Yo no más soy el musculo. [Hey, you're the brains in this operation. I'm just the brawn.]
Doc: They may be slow, but their posture is excellent!
O'Malley: Huhhg...
Doc: A for effort, Lopez!
Cut to Sarge
Sarge: I think they're distracted. Let's use this chance to slip away.
Simmons: Great idea, sir. I have a lock on the distress signal. We can head right for it.
Sarge: Good thinking, Simmons. Everybody in the jeep.
Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun! Fuck.
Donut: Shotgun's lap!
Simmons: Fuck!
Sarge: There's just no room for four people. Someone will have to jog alongside. Grif?
Grif: Jog? What's that?
Simmons: It's like running slowly. Dear God, you don't know what jogging means?
Grif: Yeah, you lost me at running. Sorry, it's not in my contract.
Donut: Oh, don't worry, I'll do it. Just give me one second while I put my jogging shorts on.
Grif: Wait. I wanna reconsider.
Donut: Who wants to hold my ankles while I stretch out my hammies?
Sarge: Noone's fallin' for that twice, Donut.
Cut to Tex and Rayner peering out a window at the Robot Army.
Tex: Alright, I think me and Rayner can take 'em. I just need a better weapon.
Tucker: Want me to help you find one?
Tex: Mm, why don't you just give me your sword?
Tucker: No way, I can see right through your little ploy. You just want me to give you the sword.
Tex: That's what I just said.
Tucker: Yeah, but it's the way you said it.
Rayner: Tex I really don't think you'd want that weapon.
Tex: (ignores Rayner) You know, it's a good thing that that sword doesn't run on brainpower. Oh my God, Tucker, look! Hot chicks.
Tucker: Nice try, you just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and take the sword.
Tex: Now the hot girls are makin' out.
Rayner: Seriously, Tex, you don't want it since it's absolutely–
Tucker: Okay, that's worth the risk. (turns around) Eauhw, crap.
Tex hits Tucker from behind and knocks him out, just like she planned
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
