Director (voice over): Dear Chairman.
Fade in to a remote base of some sort, with Washington and Caboose approaching the structure.
Director: Rest assured we have the situation under control. While the Meta is proving to be an elusive enemy, our Recovery agent is already closing in on it. I expect this incident will reach a conclusion soon, and I will be able to return to my research. Hopefully, without further interruption.
Washington: And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?
Caboose: I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time; he tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was.
Washington: Really. I can't imagine why.
Caboose: I said it was like a game of hide and seek, and he said that that was right; he was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win, is if he dies without ever seeing me again.
Washington: And he knows about Freelancer as well.
Caboose: Oh, yeah, he knows the most. He knows uh, all about your A.I. game. He dated Tex!
Washington: Agent Texas? Um, how could a person-
A sniper shot rings out between them.
Voice: Fuck!
Washington: Sniper! Get down!
Caboose: Huh?
Voice: Okay, that was your one warning shot! The next one's goin' right between your eyes!
Washington: Private Caboose! Get down!
Caboose: Wait a minute...
Voice: Alright! I warned ya! Sayonara, biatch!
Another sniper shot misses Caboose
Voice: Aw come on, what the fuck!?
Washington: Caboose!
Caboose: I know that voice! Church! Church! It's me! Your all-time best friend!
Church: Caboose? Caboose is that you?
Caboose: Yes! Church, it's me!
Church starts firing at Caboose a lot, and missing, a lot.
Caboose: I have missed you so much! It has been so long! Did you miss me!?
Church: Fuck! I missed him!
Caboose: I knew you did!
Church: Go away!
Washington: This is your friend?
Caboose: Yeah.
The shooting resumes.
Washington: And he's shooting at you.
Caboose: Well, at me and stuff around me. Yeah, this is kind of like our thing. See, he acts like he doesn't like me, but he really does. Oh and he might bring up something about me killing him, but that's only the truth. Uh it's a joke. *inhale* You could play along if you want!
Washington: Wait, that doesn't make any sense. You did what? You- you killed him?
Church: Hey, scram, seriously! Get the fuck outta here!
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
