Red vs Blue : Mirage

Missed Direction

Fade in to Tucker wandering around outside the Blue Base.

Tucker: Junior... Junior! Hey Junior, where'd you go?

Junior: Hooonk.

Tucker: There you are.

Junior is inside the base.

Junior: Hnnnk!

Tucker: You little rascal.

Junior: Hnk!

Doc: (from around the corner) Okay Sister, any other conditions I should know about?

Sister: Uhm, let's see, you know about all the ways I'm contagious, so I don't know if there's anything...

Tucker walks toward the voices and sees Sister's armor lying on the ground without her in it

Tucker: Hey, what's going on here?

Sister: Oh! I'm colorblind.

Doc: Really? That's weird. But I don't think it'll cause any problems here. Okay, go ahead and bend over.

Sister: Sure. Like this?

Doc: Hwhoa, yeah! You're really limber. And in really great shape.

Sister: Hyeah I am.

Doc: I'm not playing against you in Twister.

Sister: Check this out.

Doc: Wowzers. I didn't even know a leg could bend that far. That is a leg, right? Okay. Oh and by the way, sorry if my hands are cold.

Sister: That's cool. Sorry my body's a little hot.

Tucker: Hey do you guys need any help in there?

Sister: Huh? Is someone spying on us? Yessss. Hot.

Doc: No, we're good. Hey, Sister? Do you want me to turn up the heat or something? You look like you're...

Sister: Eh. I'll be okay. Hard nipples won't kill you.

Tucker: I could just walk around this corner if you need me to. It wouldn't be a problem.

Doc: We got it! Hey sorry I got you all wet before. I don't even know how that bucket of baby oil got up on that shelf. That was weird.

Sister: That's okay, I think it'll actually help. Squeezing these puppies in to the armor can be a little difficult.

Tucker: Maybe I should just look in there and see if there's anything I can do.

Doc: No thanks, Tucker, maybe they need your help with the tank instead. You'd probably be a lot more valuable out there. What we're doing in here is pretty routine- hey, are you double-jointed?

Sister: Hyeah.

Tucker: Great.

Junior: Hnnk!

Tucker: Don't rub it in.

Junior: Blarg?

Cut to Sarge, Simmons and Donut roaming the vast underground cave.

Simmons: Come on, Grif should be right over here.

Donut: Don't listen to him Sarge, he's just tryin' to score more drugs to keep his habit alive! Remember last month when he asked for more money? It was for drugs!