Red vs Blue : Mirage

S6: Reconstruction Chapter 12

Director: Dear Chairman.

Fade in to Caboose's mind.

Director: I too hold the protocol in the highest regard. The doctrine kept us all safe during the Great War. If you are insinuating, sir, that we violated it in any way, or that we were derelict in our duty to the military, well then I suggest you be direct, and tell me exactly how we did so.

Cut to Church's ghost standing over Caboose's body, surrounded by everyone else.

Washington: What is going on?

Church: Wash, stay calm. We can explain.

Washington: I don't want explanations, I want the truth. Now. When were you gonna tell me about this?

Church: Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning. You see, Caboose here, killed me by accident once. Well actually, more than once.

Caboose: (unconscious mumbling) Not my fault. Tucker did it.

Church: Shut up.

Washington: He killed you. As in... dead.

Sarge: Then we reached an agreement. I built Blue over here a new body-

Church: Agreement? More like we kicked your ass, and you didn't have much of a choice of what you wanted to do.

Sarge: Who kicked what now?

Simmons: What're you, an idiot?

Sarge: You wanna take that back.

Church: You guys totally gave up!

Rayner: Yeah, we definitely had the upper hand back then.

Grif: Bullshit.

Rayner: Nu-uh, that was the time that Tex and I kicked your asses all over-

Washington: Stop. Focus. How did you build him a body?

Sarge: With a robot kit of course. I'd already used ours to build our helper. Lopez.

Simmons: And a mighty fine job you did too, sir..

Grif: Yeheah, it's always great to have a helper no one but one guy on the enemy team can understand.

Sarge: Blue Team hadn't used theirs for some reason, and they even had an extra. We used that for your buddy, uh, whatsername.

Washington: And that didn't strike anyone as odd? That you would have a kit to build a robot that looks like a soldier?

Rayner: ... Noooo. That was uh, it totally seemed normal. I'm pretty sure everyone is supposed to have one.

Simmons: Yeah, that's just standard issue equipment. Right?

Washington: What? No. Have you ever run in to anyone else who has one?

Simmons: We don't really get out that often.

Sarge: Okay, smart guy. If they're so rare, then why did Command send us upgraded ones when we were told to ship out to Rat's Nest?

Church: You guys went to Rat's Nest too?

Sarge: I used some of the spare parts to spruce up Lopez.

Simmons: Spare parts? Did you fix his voice thing?

Sarge: You know, I didn't even think about that until just this second. Kind of obvious in hindsight. Probably best not to mention it to him if you see him.