Red vs Blue : Mirage

Brass Tacks

Fade in to Church and Rayner talking with Sister.

Church: Well uh, welcome to Blue Team. I guess we should probably give you uh, some kind of orientation or somethin' like that. So this is the uh, this is the base here. This is the outside of the base. ...Inside's on the inside... go through that door, right there, get to the inside. Um, there's a ramp over here, there's another one on the other side. It's kinda smaller, does the same thing though. Uh, it's got a basement, ...nuhm, there's a middle part 'n' there's a top part... got some, you know blue flags here, on the outside, come in handy when you're, you know, tryin' to identify the colour of the base, it's blue. Anyway, that uh pretty much covers the base, so... anyway, yeah, that's it.

Sister: Cool.

Rayner: Exemplary explanation Church.

Church: I'm Church, I'm the leader. Everybody looks up to me. Pretty much the only rule for rookies on the Blue Team is: don't kill the leader. That's me.

Sister: You're not the leader.

Church: That's it–wait, what?

Sister: You said your name was Church, right? That means you're not the leader.

Church: Wha-h-how the hell would you know!?

Sister: Well they said that since your old captain died one of you is promoted to captain and they sent me to replace the missing troop.

Church: And who the fuck is that?

Sister: Some guy named... Ryle Rayner?

Rayner: Kyle Rayner.

Sister: Oh! Yeah that's it.

Rayner: Wait, seriously?

Church: Wha-how the fu- that can't be true! I was here way before Rayner got here! Not to mention I've been kinda carrying this team for awhile, y'know.

Sister: I don't know. They said something about paperwork and not wanting to do more work. Wasn't really paying attention.

Rayner: Oh yeah, I've been doing Captain Flowers' job ever since he died. Huh, in hindsight this was pretty inevitable.

Church: Nu-uh, no way. This is bullshit.

Rayner: Hmm, I guess I'll give it a shot-wait, now I have to watch my back for Caboose don't I? Shit.

Church: Doesn't sound so easy now, does it? Now give–

Rayner: Then again, can't be worse than having Church come up with all the plans.

Church: Oh fuck you, you dick.

Rayner: Alright moving on. So, tell me about yourself newbie. What's your training?

Sister: Training?

Rayner: Yeah. What've you been told so far?

Sister: Oh right. That's the base, and you're the leader, and I shouldn't kill you. Ever. ...Did I pass?

Rayner: No, I mean like what kind of military training do you have. Weapons?

Sister: Uh, those sound violent.

Rayner: Operations?

Sister: I don't even know how that works.

Rayner: Communications.