Director: Dear Chairman.
Fade in to the firefight between the Reds and the Blues.
Director: Our records in this matter are impeccable, and I will refer you to them. It is true that we were granted the use of only one A.I. program, yet with special permission to conduct our experiments. That is all we were allowed to do, and that is all we have done. Of course, I am sure that you will agree, that the core mission of any scientific endeavor, is to find creative solutions to... unexpected problems.
Washington: Where did these guys come from?
Church: I have no clue!
Washington: Do you think they're working with the Meta?
Church: Working with them? These guys don't do much working of any kind, so... no.
Washington: Look, there's Caboose.
Church: Is he dead?
Washington: Hold on. Let me pull up the biocom. Check his pulse rate.
Wash does just that while looking at Church.
Church: Uh... you can monitor our vitals?
Washington: I can check on the whole squad during combat. Keeps me up to date. It doesn't work on you for some reason.
Church: Yeah uh ah, sure there's a... perfectly, logical, explanation for that. Wait, you can check the whole squad? How's Rayner doing?
Washington: Uuh, hold on, let me check... His vitals are a bit weak, but it seems stable enough. He'll be fine, I think.
Church: *Phew* Good. I thought I'd have to deal with Caboose all by myself from now on.
Washington: Speaking of, we need to get to him. My HUD says he's alive but hurt.
Church ducks out and fires at Caboose, then comes back in.
Church: How 'bout now?
Washington: Stop that! And you missed him.
Church: Fuck! Sun was in my eyes.
Cut over to the Reds, firing from behind cover.
Sarge: Simmons, keep firing. Don't let up!
Simmons: Yes, sir!
Grif: And get the grenades out there!
Simmons: Yes, sirs!
Sarge: Grif, stop confusing everybody. I'm callin' the shots.
Grif: We're the same rank now, I can do whatever I want.
Sarge: You're not qualified to lead in battle!
Grif: Qualified? How hard could it be? Simmons, you're doing a terrible job, and you should try to win harder. I mean try harder. To win.
Sarge: That was awful.
Grif: (crying) I learned it by watching you.
Simmons: Excuse me, sir.
Grif and Sarge: What?!
Simmons: (sigh) Never mind.
Cut to the Meta watching the fight on a video screen, and changing colour to red.
Sarge: (on the screen) Simmons, aim for his bullets! Try to deflect them in mid air. Grif, come here! Your face can be used as a shield.
The Meta walks down toward the battle, and the screen he was looking at starts flashing "Generator Malfunction". Cut back to Wash and Church.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
