Aboard the Sheila-Pelican, Caboose is listening to Church's call.
Church: Haha yeah! Hey it worked! I can't believe Caboose came through! How ya like that Wyoming? We even have our tank now. Booyah, mother fu-
Caboose: Sheila, um did you send the tank out there to, help them?
Sheila: Negative.
Caboose: Oh, so the tank went out there, on its own.
Sheila: Affirmative.
Caboose: Sheila, I think they might be in trouble.
Sheila: Affirmative.
Caboose: I should help them!
Sheila: Affirmative.
Caboose: I could go out there-
Sheila: Negative.
Caboose: And help them beat Wyoming-
Sheila: Negative.
Caboose: And save the day-
Sheila: Nope.
Caboose: And everyone will love me!
Sheila: What?
Caboose: Especially Church!
Sheila: My sensors indicate you don't stand a chance.
Caboose: Thanks Sheila! This is a great plan!
================================
Back at the standoff at Red Base.
Wyoming: You know, I really can't thank you enough for fixing up your tank and leaving it completely unattended. It was very kind of you, old chap. Makes your defeat and humiliation so much easier.
Church: Yeah? Well, great, glad we could help. I'm sure if you give us enough time we'll just kill ourselves. Save ya some ammo.
Rayner: Well, I wouldn't go that far. Worse case scenario I book it and leave you guys here.
Wyoming: If it makes you feel any better your death is for a very noble cause.
Church: What do you want with Tucker's kid anyway?
Tucker: What? How did we get here? What!?
Church: What's wrong with you?
Rayner: ... Oh no.
Tucker: With me? What's happening?
Church: Umm... we're being held prisoner...? Where the hell have you been?
Tucker: What? How? I'm so confused!
Church: What do you mean "how"? Are you retarded?
Rayner: Tucker, calm down and listen to me.
Tucker: But Tex! She-
Church: No. Tex will take him out.
Wyoming: Oh right, Tex. You mean, her?
As Wyoming says "her" he lunges forward and punches the invisible Tex, knocking her down and out.
Wyoming: Poor Tex. Never could figure out when she'd been beaten.
Church: What? How did you know where she was?
Tucker: What do you mean? That's where she was before.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
