~S~
Feeling the tips of his fingers dance around me waist, i remember sinking back into him as I let out a sheepish giggle... I was putty in his hands
He could do that to me. He could make me laugh and blush more than anyone else ever could. It felt like magic when we were together, until it came to work and then all hell broke loose.
But when it was just the two of us, alone, things always felt perfect.
It felt like it was just against the world and many times, it was exactly that.
"I've missed you," Lindsey whispered softly, chin resting on my shoulder as he watched me flipped through some boring, junk mail.
We had been seeing each other for almost six months on the road and things felt right. Of course, We had our share of ups and downs...it wasn't easy all the time.
Actually, it was really hard for us. We always got caught in this weird mix of trying to juggle everything that came with our two very complex lives. But for the first time, in a really long time, we were both willing to fight for one another, rather than against each other... First time in years.
"I missed you, too." I did miss him, even though I had a million other things on my mind in the days leading up to that moment.
Lark had been a nightmare and talking to her felt like I was trying to speak with a brick wall. We couldn't even have a simple conversation about the weather without an eye roll and rude comments... I didn't know how I would tell her about her father and I.
I knew, no matter what, she wouldn't be totally on board with our relationship.
Lindsey and I had seen each other many times before that, but like I said, we had never really had the urge to work through all it takes to have a relationship with someone. We didn't have family dinners together, or go to the movies, or anything like that.
We didn't make it a point to be a normal family and Lark had never seen us together in that way.
I wasn't sure how she was going to react.
Tilting my head to the side, I looked back at him out of the corner of my eyes. "We shouldn't tell her, yet." I wanted to, I really, really did, but I was nervous.
Kissing the side of my head, he held me by the waist. "She's gonna get over it." He knew her well, but just not as well as I did.
I knew Lark like I knew the back of my hand. I thought I had her memorized, but at the same time, I didn't know her at all.
Sighing heavily, I took his hand in mine, letting my thumb run across his knuckles. He always had rough hands and as crazy as it might sound, it started to become comforting for me.
I trusted him more than I should have, that was all.
"Stevie?" Her voice came like a lightening bolt- loud and unexpected, which caused us both to jump.
"I thought you said she was with her friends or something?" He let me go, running his hand through his curls from built up nerves.
"I thought she was," I replied, rolling my eyes as I tried to fix my hair, but the sound of her footsteps coming down the hallway become incredibly apparent. "Get outside," I hurried through the kitchen to get to the sliding glass down, grabbing his shoes off the floor in the process.
I remember how that chuckle escaped him when I threw his shoes outside onto the back patio and motioned for him to join them.
In the moment, I didn't think it was funny and I still don't.
Looking back, I should have known that all the sneaking around, all the hiding- it was just setting us up for failure.
I wish, so badly, that I could go back to the late 90's and tell myself that, because it would have saved me a lot of heartache in the end.
"This is kinda exciting," he joked, pausing to kiss my lips as he headed out the door.
Fixing my top one last time, I slid it closed just as she was coming into the kitchen. "Hi, dear." I can still feel the way my heart was pounding in my chest when I turned back around after closing the curtains and she was standing there in a leather jacket, ripped jeans and combat boots... I thought we were in the eighties again.
"I need twenty bucks." She jumped right in, like always.
She wasn't a talker, not with me at least.
I let out a little chuckle, trailing towards the island. "Did you have a good time at your friends?" I hadn't seen her since the day before, since she'd decided to spend the night at Sarah's house, so I felt like having one of those conversations... the ones that normal mothers share with their daughters.
She creased a brow, obviously trying not to roll her eyes. "It was fun," she shrugged, not enthused with my small talk, ever.
"What do you need twenty bucks for?" Sometimes I just had to give up- I couldn't have a conversation with someone who didn't care.
"I need something to heal this," she used one hand to pull up her jacket sleeve, showing me the tattoo on her arm.
It was a turtle wearing a top hat... a turtle wearing a fucking hat.
"Is that real?" I reached across the kitchen counter, trying to take her hand, but she pulled away before I could get a better look. "Tell me that's marker." I already knew it wasn't, but I was really hoping that I was wrong and she didn't let someone give her a homemade tattoo.
"I'm pretty sure it's real." She nodded her head softly, giving me one of those sarcastic smirks.
"It looks red, Lark." I was suddenly more worried about it getting infected.... don't get me wrong, I was still furious, but the mother in me kicked in and I didn't want her arm to turn green, or something awful like that.
Her eyes got wide, and I could tell whatever she was getting ready to say wasn't, thank you for worrying, mom.... "Hello?!" she said it like I was clueless, which never got her very far in the end. "That's what I said in the beginning." Lark would get away with talking to me like that for so long and then I, eventually, had enough.
"You're grounded for a month, Lark and if you keep up the attitude, you'll be stuck hanging out in this house for two." I moved through the kitchen, pulling open a drawer to dig through some junk. "Here," tossing some antibiotic cream across the counter, my eyes melted right into hers. "I don't trust you with money." I didn't mean to say that aloud, even though it was true.
Her blue eyes turned quickly and before I could prepare myself, there was a storm brewing. "I'm moving in with dad!" She yelled, grabbing it off the counter and throwing it back at me. "I don't want anything from you anymore!"
