~L~
The first couple of months were actually really hard for me. I think it all had to do with the fact that I was so far away from home, going through something so unfamiliar- it was almost overwhelming.
It felt like a lot and the only person that ever really seemed to know just how emotional I'd become over it all was my mother.
Of course, Austin had an idea, but he was working so much, I felt like I was always alone. Whether it was alone in the house, alone at school, or alone work... I never felt like I had anyone, except for my mom, who was all the way across the country.
She was such a good listener- she still is, but back then, she just really knew how to make me feel better. She knew what to say, how to handle it and she never, believe it or not, gave me advice that I didn't need or didn't want.
And I believe she was so knowledgeable about the situation because she had gone through something quite similar.
I'm not saying that the stories are identical, but Stevie had a baby on the road in the 70's- she wasn't married, she wasn't dating, she wasn't home and I'm certain, beyond a matter of doubt that she was terrified.
She had to have been, even though she had never admitted it to me... I knew.
It made me want to give her a big hug every time I'd think about it.
Overall, she was good at sympathizing and she was also good at figuring things out... or having Karen help do that.
I didn't really start to feel any better until September. I was six months pregnant by then and my mom was in New York for a concert. I was so excited.
She was staying at the Waldorf, so as soon as Karen let me know they were in the city, I caught a cab and headed that way. It was late in New York, which meant it was still pretty early on the west coast, so Stevie wanted to go out for dinner when she arrived.
And after not seeing her for a couple of months- not since before I'd found out that I was pregnant, I was just ready to be in her presence.
"There's my favorite girl" Karen pulled me in for a hug the second I slipped through the door of my mothers suite.
Letting out a deep laugh, I dropped my bag to the floor to hug her right back. "My sweet Karen." I teased, calling her something I did quite often as I held her for a long moment.
We hadn't always gotten along, but by then, I really relied on her... She did a lot for me and the baby, and she still does, even now- many moons later.
"Lark?" Stevie's voice rang through the room, a very obvious hint of excitement lingering in her tone as the sound of her feet hitting the hardwood floor caught our attention.
Pulling away slowly, Karen patted my back softly. "She can't wait to see you." She whispered with a faint chuckle.
I grinned lightly, watching Karen head towards the sofa in the living room area of the suite as my mother came through from the bedroom.
She was as pretty as ever, even though she didn't have an ounce of makeup on, her hair was in natural waves and she was dressed in a casual blouse, a pair of yoga pants and slippers... Nothing overly fancy- just my mom, which was more special than anything else.
"Oh, honey." She held out her arms, obviously trying hard not to stare too prominently at my growing baby bump.
"Mom..." I almost whined that as I hurried towards her, meeting her in the center of the room for a hug that I had been longing for, practically. "It's so good to see you." I closed my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks as I felt her rub my shoulder softly.
There are just moments in life where you feel like you really need your mother... even if you don't, sometimes you do and I had found myself needing her more in the last six months than I had before.
When you're having a baby, there's a lot of questions and concerns that come right along with it and I wanted to ask her everything... And much of the time, I would.
There was a lot of late nights when I would call out to Santa Monica, wake her up from a deep sleep just to tell her that my heartburn was so bad, and my stomach, and I was feeling nervous- silly stuff, yet she always listened and she always tried, even though it was crazy of me.
I realize that now, but I'm thankful to have had that stability at that time in my life.
"You're glowing, angel girl." She let out a soft chuckle, which came out in such a throaty way- she was on the verge of tears as well.
~S~
I knew something was wrong from the start. Not only had she not been speaking about Austin on the phone, but when she showed up at the hotel with an over night bag, it was pretty obvious that things had gone from odd to odder in their home.
Lark probably won't admit it to you, but... why sugarcoat things now? It's the past.
Austin and Lark were very different- they always had been and I'm sure, of all the people in the world, you know this as well... It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies, but then again, what relationship ever is?
Anyway, it wasn't long until we were sitting across from one another in the corner booth at her favorite restaurant in the city. And even though I was curious, I loved that all she really wanted to talk about was that sweet baby... I didn't even want to bring anything else up, not unless she did.
"How's your new apartment? Do you have the nursery set up?" I wondered, cradling my cup of tea close to my lips as I stared at her from over the brim.
They had just moved across town, into a nicer area with a lot more space... a place that Karen had found them and they both ended up loving.
Lark lived in that apartment forever, it seems and by the time she was putting it on the market, it was truly a place that she had made her own.
"For the most part." She shrugged lightly, a soft smile trailing across her face. "We have it all painted and the furniture that you and dad sent is still in the boxes." Lark was a procrastinator... I wouldn't have been surprised if they had decided to wait until they got home from the hospital to set up the crib.
I tossed my head back, letting a little giggle escape me. "Your dad can hardly even wait for this little bundle of joy." Sometimes I got so caught up, I forgot that it wasn't normal to speak of him like that... like we were together. "All he talks about is being a grandpa these days." I thought it was sweet... I still do.
But when she creased a brow and kept that smirk- I regretted saying anything at all. "Have you talked to him lately?" She asked me that very rarely at that point in time... I couldn't even remember the last time we spoke about her father before that, actually.
I paused for a moment as a gentle sigh escaped me. "We're talking about filming a documentary, so we've all been in touch." I shrugged a shoulder, almost certain that she wasn't referring to our work life.
But you have to understand, all we talked about was work and occasionally, if something was going on, we talked about our daughter. It was never any in depth conversations and honestly, I think we were finally beginning to feel like friends... first time ever.
"That's very exciting, mom." She assured, blue eyes so gentle and lips turned up. "But I've actually been thinking..." Lark's tone shifted lightly- she was nervous to pitch whatever idea she had come up with.
"Oh, yeah?" I kind of figured, or maybe I was seriously hoping that she was going to want to talk about moving home... I wanted her to come back out West more than anything in the entire world.
"I want you and dad to be here when the baby arrives." She announced, which wasn't a shock to me, but the next part was. "Just the two of you though..."
