~L~
I went out to LA a week earlier than I had originally planned. And I won't lie, it was because I felt like I had made a mistake... I was worried sick about Ruth being with Austin's parents for the remainder of the summer, and that was really only because they had never had her for any extended amount of time.
She didn't spend weekends at their house, they hadn't made the trip out to see us since the winter that she arrived and they hardly ever really called to check in us.
She just wasn't used to them- she was used to Stevie and Lindsey, so it had been a really difficult week for her with Bonnie and Ray, who were much older, not as fun, and definitely not as interested in being grandparents.
I mean, don't get me wrong, they were wonderful people- the very best family that I could have ever married into, and they adored Ruth, but they just weren't overly enticed with that portion of their life... Not like my parents, who seemed to totally devoted themselves to their granddaughter and all of her dreams.
They are still, very invested in Ruth and I couldn't be more thankful for that, even if I tried.
But back then, at the time, things were a little different for us. A little more complicated.
"Where's Ruth?" Lindsey was sitting across from me at at my favorite restaurant on Sunset, having invited me out to lunch early that morning.
I wasn't really mad at them... I was annoyed and a little let down in their behavior, but not mad. So when I had gotten out West, I called to let them both know that I was taking her home early, and my dad was set on meeting up to talk about it.
He wouldn't let me skip town, otherwise.
Biting down on my lower lip, I shrugged my shoulders softly. "She's with Suzanna at that tea party." I admitted, even though I felt totally awful about it.
"The tea party your mom was so excited to take her to...?" He already knew the answer to that- I could tell by his arched brow and the tone in his voice.
"I already feel bad about it." I held up one of my hands, kind of annoyed that he was trying to guilt me even more. "Ruth's been asking about mom all week, but she was excited to see Suzanna, so..." I didn't want him to think that I was some mean monster, trying to take their only grandkid away from them, because that wasn't my motive.
I just wanted them to learn that they couldn't do that forever... their actions had consequences and sometimes they forgot about that.
Their choices had always affected other peoples lives and I was really tired of it interfering with mine... And you might think that sounds awfully selfish, but it was true.
"It wasn't Stevie's fault, none of it." He shook his head, growing a little bit softer as his eyes fell to his cup of coffee on the table.
"I'm not holding anything against her." I clarified, just so he knew that I didn't think it was all her... I knew it had always been the two of them, combined.
It takes two to tango, and neither of them were innocent, by any means.
"It just upset me and I'm allowed to feel that way, considering this has been a never ending cycle since the beginning of the dawn age with you and Stevie." I never, ever opened up about those feelings like that- not to them, at least. "I didn't send Ruth out here to parent trap you." I added, rolling my eyes lightly as I shifted in the booth to get more comfortable. "And then, I call over to your house to check up on Ruth and Natalie tells me that you asked for a divorce...?" I continued, almost using the same breath to ramble that entire spiel, because I was just so worked up and confused.
I didn't talk to her often- once in a blue moon, I would call and we would chat for an hour or more, but it was rare, even though I had really grown to love and appreciate her... It wasn't the traditional step- mother and step- daughter relationship, but we still managed to make it work and by then, we were actually better friends than anything else.
He nodding lightly, obviously a little surprised to hear that I knew what was actually going on in their lives... Not just the bullshit that they tried to tell me over the phone.
"I did ask for a divorce, yeah." Lindsey said it really mundane, almost like he wasn't getting ready to throw almost eight years of marriage down the drain.. I didn't know how he could be so nonchalant sometimes.
"And who is it that you're so in love with?" I said it like it was crazy and looking back, I really thought it was.
He had it made at home. He had a really wonderful wife, who had her fair share of issues, but she was kind and beautiful- really great to him and the perfect mom to their two kids... I had given her a really bad rap for a while, but as I got older, I realized that she was good for him.
"Who did you meet that is so wonderful that you want to leave your family for?" It wasn't my business, but I wanted to know who was worth all of that heartache...
He paused for a second and I could tell that he wasn't sure if he was going to be honest or not at first. "Your mom." He announced, which caused my heart to sink into the very pit of my stomach immediately.
I should have known.
"You want to leave the life that you created to be with my mom?" I creased a brow softly, voice growing a little more gentle as I tried to read his mind.
What was he thinking?
"I am more in love with her now than I ever have been." Lindsey didn't really say stuff like that- he wasn't that kind of guy, so I knew that he meant it.
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I sank back in my seat as I thought about what I was supposed to say to that. " Then do it right this time." I told him, very serious about that. "If you want to be with her, do it right."