~S~
"I thought she was getting better?" I was sitting on the couch, one arm resting on the back and my entire body turned to the side to face him. "You told us that she had started to feel better?" I creased a brow softly, voice gentle as I tried my very best to sympathize with him.
Believe it or not, it was easy for me to do that, especially with Lindsey. We had experienced it all together, and in the thirty- five years that we'd known each other there was a lot of loss, a lot of illness, a lot of bad decisions and heartache... We had been there before and we would be there again, no doubt in my mind.
"I don't want you to worry about that sort of stuff," he was turned towards me, one arm draped over the back of the couch as well and the other held onto his crystal glass. "And I know you will." Lindsey added with most gentle, yet sad set of blue eyes.
Shifting lightly, I remember biting down on my lower lip as my heart sank. "I've always worried about you." I admitted something that had never really been a secret... He knew how much I cared, even when I shouldn't have and I knew that he felt the same way about me. "And I probably always will, so lying to me isn't going to solve either of our problems." I wasn't being mean, I was being soft and honest.
I was always going to care, no matter what happened between us... He held a special piece of my heart that no one else ever could, even if I had tried to give it away on more than one occasion.
Nodding his head, he let out a soft chuckle as he brought his glass up to his lips to take a sip. "I don't deserve to have you in my corner, not after all I've done." He shrugged softly, obviously a little bit defeated.
Shaking my head, I let out a soft laugh. "Oh, Lindsey..." I used the hand that had been resting on the couch to reach out, tangling my fingers in his as I looked into the eyes that I had fallen victim to many, many times before... Those eyes made me lose all sanity, in more ways than one. "We've had such a great run together, don't you think?" I didn't want him to talk about our past like it was full of mistakes, because it wasn't. "A wonderful daughter, two successful careers, enough memories to last a lifetime and now Ruth..." I reminded him, even though there was just no way that he could ever forget all of those magical moments in time.
In life, we've both made our fair share of mistakes and sacrifices, but I never felt like that really defined us. Our break ups, our arguments, our relationships with other people never really meant much at the end of the day, which might sound crazy to most people but to us, it was normal... It still is.
He stared at me for a long second, studying my face like he hadn't seen it in years. "Thank you for all of it." He squeezed my hand lightly, trying to silently assure me that he was okay, even though I wasn't really convinced. "I want you to be happy now." He added, which kind of caught me off guard.
"I am happy." I was, truly.
I had a lot of exciting things happening in my life at that time. I was working a lot- we were putting out a new documentary, we were in the middle of a really great tour, I was writing songs, and above all that- I had Ruth... I was so happy.
"What happened to that one guy that you were going out with for awhile?" That was his way of telling me that he was talking about that portion of my life, which made me sigh immediately.
Shrugging lightly, my eyes fell down to cup of tea that I had resting in my lap. "It just ran its course..." I didn't know what else to say, because I had never, ever told him the entire truth about my love life, not with anyone.
"He seemed good for you." Lindsey would have never mentioned that normally and I could tell, just by the look in his eyes that he was starting to feel that third glass. "He treated you well, right?" He asked, raising a brow lightly.
Biting down on my bottom lip, I let out a faint scoff- not a mean one, but instead a weak one. "He couldn't handle that he didn't come first in my life..." I admitted something that had never been new, not with any of my relationships, at least. "He didn't come first, or second and some men don't appreciate that." It wasn't often that I shared that much detail with him, but it felt good.... it felt like old times and I didn't realize how much I had craved that until that very moment.
"You're the love of my life." He didn't hesitate to tell me something that he never really had... Not in that sense, at least.
My heart began to beat fast, feeling incredibly warm in the face all of sudden. "Are you okay?" I needed to ask, only because that was a little out of character for him.
Nodding softly, he let out a faint chuckle.
I tugged his hand lightly, silently asking him to come in a little closer. "We'll get through this." I promised him that the second he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
He left a soft kiss on my temple, which caused my eyes to fall closed. "We always have."
~~~
Lindsey fell asleep on the couch that night, wrapped up in a throw blanket, snoring as loud as can be. And even though I knew that my back would hurt and my neck would be stiff, I slept across the room, curled up on the loveseat.
I wasn't sure that he had actually been sleeping well at home, so I didn't want to wake him and I definitely didn't want him to sneak out in the middle of the night. So, I didn't go far, just in case, and when the sun rose, I was up first with Ruth.
"We have to be so quiet." I whispered as I carried her down the winding staircase. "Grandpa is in the living room, resting." I added as I used one hand to run my fingers through her crazy curls.
She was still in her footy pajamas, her stuffed animal in one arm and her baby blanket in the other as her eyes adjusted to the morning light.
Sweetest girl in the whole world.
"What should we make for breakfast?" I wondered as I began to head into the kitchen.
And to my surprise, left on the counter, right by the coffee pot was a note from the man that had slipped out the front door before I got the chance to even tell him "good morning."
