~S~
I didn't sleep a wink, I couldn't. I had tried to get comfortable but instead, I ended up staying wide awake, staring into the darkness and listening to the busy New York traffic, all as Lark snored away right next to me.
It had taken her forever to go to sleep, but after whispering into the night air for over half an hour about how her dad was so set on leaving his wife for me, her eyes finally grew heavy... such a relief.
She needed rest more than anyone else and in all honesty, I was at a loss. I didn't really know what to say- she did all the talking and I decided it was best that I just listen... I soaked up every word, but didn't reply, because I really didn't know how.
I didn't know what to feel, let alone say.
So it was a long night and by the time six rolled around, I couldn't lay down any longer. I needed to get up and keep my mind occupied, so I slipped out of bed as quietly as possible to keep from waking up Lark. And then I tiptoed through the room, throwing my silk robe over my shoulders before I ventured out into the hallway, where silence welcomed me.
I was hoping to get a moment of just solitude- something I think we had all been craving for days. So when I got to the kitchen, I made a pot of coffee, sat down at the small circle table that overlooked the city and slipped right back into my thoughts.
But of course, with my luck, the peace didn't last but a second... When they say New York doesn't sleep, they aren't lying.
"Well, good morning, pretty woman." He gave me a soft smile the moment he flicked on the kitchen light. "Why are you up so early?" He had just slipped in through the front door as quiet as a mouse, carrying a box and a cup of coffee.
He was still in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, probably having just rolled out of bed, ran his fingers through his hair and headed for the bakery right next door to the apartment building.
He had promised Ruth that he would get cinnamon rolls for breakfast and he never broke a promise- not when it came to the kids, at least.
"I've got too much on my mind." I shrugged my shoulders softly, staring across the room as he began to set everything down on the counter. "Lark could not go to sleep for the longest time, but she's finally out." I added with a soft chuckle as I shook my head lightly.
I knew that she had to be very confused about everything... It wasn't fair that she had lost her husband at such a young age and in such a tragic way.
They deserved more time together and if she wanted to spend all night talking, I would be there to listen.. Always, no matter what, so don't think that I was complaining, because I wouldn't have.
He grinned, nodding in agreement as he leaned back into the island. "Did you have to braid her hair?" Lindsey wondered as he brought his cup of coffee up to his lips to take a drink.
"I did." My lips turned up very gently as my eyes stayed locked with his much lighter blue storms.
When Lark was young, she would have the hardest time falling asleep. We would read stories, sing songs, but no matter what, almost every night, she would crawl into my bed and she would want to talk about everything and anything that came to mind. She used to ask me all kinds of crazy stuff and then she'd want to hear story, after story. Eventually, just to get her to stop rambling, I would start carefully twisting her long hair into braids and within half an hour, she would be out like a light.
"She'll wake up with nice beach waves." I added just a second later as I lightly bit down on my bottom lip.
"Some things never change, huh?" He had a faint smile on his handsome face, still trying his best to put up a strong front.
Lindsey was better at hiding emotion than I ever was, but I could usually see right through him and that was one of those mornings for us...
"She was really talkative..." I lingered, raising a brow casually as I finally looked back out the window to see the morning in full swing.
However, even though I had turned away, I could still see his reflection through the glass... He wasn't phased, not yet. "Hm," he hummed softly, taking another drink of his coffee as he continued to stare over at me. "Poor kid." He shook his head a tad, a very faint sigh escaping him. "She really needs you right now, so I'm sure-"
"It wasn't about that." I cut him off, tears beginning to blur my vision as I continued to look down at the taxi's in stand still traffic below us. "It was about you." Pursing my lips to the side, I tilted my head back to look at the man that I had loved my entire life.
He paused for a second, arching his brow and shifting all of his weight from one foot to the other really awkwardly. "Oh, yeah...?" Lindsey was still leaning back, but he had let one hand fall on the marble top to hold himself up. "All good things, I hope." He cracked a little smirk, obviously trying to find light in a situation that could be very heavy... Our relationship had never been simple.
Pushing myself up slowly, I grabbed my cup off the table before I began to trail through the room, moving right towards him. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?" I didn't ask him that until I was just inches away, setting my cup in the sink carefully as my voice grew much softer. "Why don't we ever tell each other the truth?" I rephrased as I stayed pressed to the edge of the island.
His eyes scanned over my side profile as he took a moment to think about that before he replied. "The truth about what?" He wasn't stupid- he knew exactly what I was talking about, but he wanted me to say it...
I let out a sigh, both my hands falling on the ledge of the counter as I looked at him with the weakest eyes.
"I would tell you that you're the one, but you already know that." He could be so soft spoken and gentle when he wanted to be... The way he said that made me feel weak in the knees.
I let out a scoff, shaking my head as the tears continued to sit right on the brims of my eyes. "How am I supposed to know that if we don't talk about what we feel for one another anymore?" I sank right into his side the second that he slipped his hand around my stomach, rubbing my hip as his lips met my head. "Huh?" I brought one hand up to his arm, squeezing it softly as my heavy eyes fell closed.
"I'll tell you..." he said that to me in such a genuine way. "I'll tell you every day, if you let me."
