~S~
"I'm a little nervous." Lindsey was standing across the elevator, leaning back against the railing as he cradled a foam cup of coffee in hand.
We didn't end up getting in until after midnight New York time and then we headed straight to the hotel, got checked into our rooms and split up for the night... Don't worry, we didn't go too far away from one another.
He was always a little more protective when I didn't have someone else with me, especially traveling. It wasn't often, or ever that I was really alone and if Karen wasn't tagging along, that felt pretty alone to me... She was always there- somewhere, doing something, but not that time, so he made sure his room was right next to mine, just in case.
"Why?" I wondered, sunglasses still shielding my tired eyes as I watched the numbers on the panel rise towards the fourth floor.
I knew why, but I figured it would be nice to ask anyway.
"I haven't seen her in over a year..." He reminded me, even though it was pretty hard to forget. "I don't even really remember how to be around her." Those words caused my heart to sink into the pit of my stomach, because he was being so serious... he was hurt.
Lark had actually come home for a friends wedding the year prior and when I say home, I mean my house... My house was always her home, ever since she was a tiny baby, and I think sometimes that bothered him a little. And he wasn't upset because she wanted to live with me, but because sometimes she ended up really neglecting that portion of her life.
She never, ever meant to hurt his feelings, but she got so busy with her friends when she came home, Lark only saw him one time in the week that she was out West and it was the day that he had decided to stop by, unexpectedly.
They ended up having breakfast out on the back patio as they chatted for about an hour, while I cleaned up the kitchen and tried to pretend like I wasn't watching from a distance... I wanted it to get better for them, I really did, but it was odd.
For example, she never made any effort to go see her siblings, or her step mother, who had was always asking about her. I think Natalie really wanted to be apart of her life and she really pushed her as far away as she could.
Anyway, that all really upset Lindsey and I could definitely understand why. That would be pretty hard for any parent, but especially one that had always been as devoted as he was.
"Oh, don't be sappy." I cracked a soft smile, trying to lighten the mood, even though I knew it wasn't that easy. "Once you see her, it'll be like no time has passed at all." It was wishful thinking, that's all.
I wanted things to be good and normal... I wanted that for them and for us.
Nodding his head, he stuck his free hand in his coat pocket as he took a moment to stare down at the marble floor. "I don't tell you this enough," Lindsey began, but he was cut off when a ding filled the air and the door came up.
I paused for a second, wanting to hear what he had to say but also knowing that we couldn't camp out in the elevator all morning. "What?" I led the way out into the hallway of the elegant apartment building in the Upper Eastside.
His lips turned up, trailing along side me as we headed down the hall. "I never, ever could have done any of this without you..."
~L~
When they got in, Austin had already left for work, so it was just the three of us, which I was really thankful for. I needed that time with them to really ease my mind, make me feel better about the situation.
In the weeks leading up to their arrival, I had really been feeling a little selfish for asking them to come out to New York, just the two of them. I could have invited Karen, Sharon, Lori, my grandma, Suzanna... even Natalie, but I didn't.
And looking back, I really don't regret it. Of course, I missed all of them during that time, but it was such a special couple of weeks with my parent- I wouldn't have traded it for the world.
"And this is the nursery..." I pushed open the door, a big smile on my face as I revealed my favorite room in the entire apartment.
You have to understand, Austin and I had come from a one bedroom, shoebox in Brooklyn, to a five bedroom penthouse in one of the best parts of the city... I was so excited and for the first time since we moved, I was proud.
"Wow..." My dad cracked a grin, trailing further into the room that I had spent hours planning out.
It was just him that I showing the apartment to, being that it was the first time he had ever been to my house... Either of them. Now, my mother had visited my old place once but it was so small, she just dropped in and then took me out for lunch.
It was the first time I had ever had either of them stay with us out East.
"Moons..." Lindsey let out a soft chuckle as he carefully reached out to trace an index finger around the circumference of a crescent moon mirror.
I was always a really big fan of the celestial stuff... I had gotten it honestly and I thought it was the perfect theme for a nursery, and we were just coming out of the 90's, so it really fit the bill.
I paused for a second, lingering close to the door as I stared at him intently... I had missed him more than I realized. "That was something Margi had gifted mom when she was pregnant with me." I recalled, even though I was certain the he wouldn't remember that.
His blue eyes turned towards me and I wanted to hug him so bad. "Well, it's perfect, princess." He really is the best dad ever and back then, I didn't appreciate it like I should have.
"I'm really sorry that I've been so distant lately." I didn't plan on apologizing for that, even though deep down, I knew that I needed to.
There had been a dozen calls I hadn't returned, voicemails I never got around to listening to and things I should have said.
But life is about making mistakes and recovering... I did that.
"I've just been really going through something with this move, the marriage, the baby..." I wasn't being totally honest- there was more that was bothering me but I didn't want to make him feel bad.
"Don't be sorry, sweetie." He held out an arm and with tears in my eyes, I ventured towards him. "Don't apologize for growing up." He added, which broke my heart almost.
I sank into his arms a second later, suddenly reminded of how safe I always felt in the presence of my parents.
"We're so proud of the person you've become." He added, which is something that I really needed to hear, especially from my dad.
"I agree..." her raspy voice was lingering in the doorway, a sweet smile on her face as she leaned to one side.
And I felt better already.
