~S~
The night before the wedding wasn't as hectic as most are and it makes me a little sad to say that. Usually, the day before is full of flower arrangements, rehearsal dinners, phone calls to the catering company and last minute bridesmaid dress alterations, but not Larks wedding...
It was going to be so small, none of that was necessary.
So, the night before, since she didn't invite any of her friends to the ceremony or the dinner after, she had some of them over for a big slumber party at my house.
Karen, Lori and I spent all morning moving the furniture downstairs around for ten people to sleep and then I got them all matching pajamas and slippers, we rented movies, bought stock in snacks and then, we each disappeared and let them run the house for the night.
Karen headed home, my parents went out to dinner with Lori and my brother, and I found myself sitting out on my bedroom balcony... Thinking.
I don't even remember what I was so intrigued by, but I sat out there for a long time, my mind just totally racing and eventually, just as the bright sun was getting ready to set, two headlights came down the driveway.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel..." he was looking up, still lingering by the open car door. "Throw down your long hair." Lindsey was in that old leather jacket, a pair of jeans and sunglasses that were still covering his eyes...
He has always been handsome to me, but for some reason, that evening, I felt a little more attached to him then I had in quite awhile... After all, we were going through the same thing.
I chuckled lightly, pushing myself up off the patio chair to look over the railing. "Pizza delivery man?" I teased as I watched him begin to pull pizza boxes off the passenger seat to carry up to the front door.
"Appears mamas little finger sandwiches just didn't cut it." He gave me a wink as one of those notorious smirks rolled across his face.
I don't really remember when we had stopped arguing- I think it was just a silent promise to each other and Lark that we'd get through the wedding on good terms. But either way, it was really nice.
We weren't enemies, thankfully.
"You should come up..." I don't know what possessed me to say that, I really don't... I could have just gone downstairs, but I didn't.
"Oh?" Lindsey playfully began to jog towards the door, shouting to me before he slipped into the house. "I'll sneak up in five." And when he said sneak, he meant it.
The thing about Lindsey and I, is that we will always, no matter what is happening in the world around us, we'll still find some sort of refuge in each other... Even if we're mad, or sad, or confused- there's some sliver of pure comfort there.
With a giddy little grin, I hurried through the bedroom with my silk robe wrapped around shoulders and my bangs still held up in rollers... He was the only man I ever really trusted enough to see me like that.
"Mother of the bride..." Lindsey was tip toeing down the hallway when I opened the door, a bottle of wine and two glasses that he'd taken out of the kitchen in hand.
We had to be quiet and sneaky, because if Lark had caught us, it would have been a nightmare... We were being foolish and we knew that, but it had never stopped us before.
It's never stopped us since.
I rolled my eyes, still smiling as I welcomed him into the safety of my room and locked the door behind him... Just in case. "Thank you for bringing the girls pizza, Linds." When I turned back around, he was already twisting off the top of the red wine.
"I'd do anything for that kid." He had said that a million times before and he was always serious- he always meant it.
"I know." My eyes fell to the floor, not lingering too far from the nightstand, where he had set up his little bar.
Nodding his head, he paused for a short second before he continued. "And her mom, too." Lindsey's blue eyes met mine as he held out one of the glasses for me to take.
And even though we had been through so much, I still believed him, because he had proven it to me time and time again in his own way.
My heart sank instantly, nibbling on my lower lip as I held out my free hand to motion towards the French doors. "Let's go sit outside?" My voice was gentle and I was a little nervous.
We hadn't been alone in months at that point- not really, seriously alone and for some reason, I felt like I had forgotten how to be in his presence without someone as a buffer.
But that didn't last long. Only a few minutes later, we found ourselves curled up together on the patio sofa, like nothing had ever happened... We were like that.
"The sunset's nice." He didn't know what to talk about.
We had so much weighing heavily on us, I'm sure he didn't know where to even begin.
I couldn't help but laugh, head on his chest as I felt him rub the tips of his fingers in small circles against my temple.
We have never really had any sort of boundaries, obviously.
"Do you remember the morning I found out that I was pregnant?" I was sipping my wine, but my head was slightly tilted up to look at his face.
I had been thinking about that time in our lives quite a bit. And for some reason, I just couldn't stop replaying that day in my mind.
I hadn't been feeling well for a few weeks, but we were so busy on the road, I didn't even consider the idea that I could be pregnant... Not until Robin suggested that I call my doctor.
And I was so scared... I didn't know how we were going to do it, but there he was, sitting on the edge of the bed in some hotel room, promising me that it would be okay as long as we got through that tour.
We would make it and we did... My little girl and I.
"Of course, I do." He assured. "And I wish we could go back..." I'll never forget the tone in his voice. He sounded more defeated than he had in years. "I would have done it all differently." Lindsey looked down, staring into my eyes as I stared right back.
I was so in love with him.
"Do it right this time, Lindsey."
