~S~
We stayed in New York until we literally couldn't any longer. We had been there for weeks and eventually, the band had started calling and getting back home to get ready to tour was just inevitable.
It was difficult to leave them- harder than it ever had been before, but there was a feeling of comfort that came with knowing that they still had some of Austin's family in the city and a really great nanny to help with Ruth.
It didn't make it any easier, but it definitely made me feel a little better about them being so far away from Lindsey and I.
And by the time the four of us were boarding the plane to head West, Lark was doing a lot better. It had been about a month since Austin had passed and she had started seeing her therapist again, had gotten back into the swing of things at work, and was really trying to move forward.
It was too soon to totally be okay, but she was trying her very best and I had never been more proud of the human she had become.
She was the strongest girl in the whole world and she was raising a daughter just the same.
Anyway, once we were home, Lindsey went his way and I went mine... When I said that I wasn't going to have an affair, I meant that.
I didn't want any secrets and we didn't come home with any. Sure, we had gone out a couple of times, just the two of us when we were in the city and there were a few nights when we stayed up late in the living room, talking, but it was nothing more than promises that we shared.
In all reality, he had things he needed to work out at home and I was so busy getting ready to leave again, I had to kind of put all of that on the back burner for the time being.
I couldn't change the uncontrollable... I couldn't make it easy for us, even though I wanted it to be.
So, with that being said, I went a few days without hearing from him and honestly, I wasn't too worried.
There was something incredibly promising that time around... I knew it would be different for us, even if it took some time to figure it out.
I really thought that we had a chance.
"I'll see you in a few days." I was leaning into the frame of the front door, watching as Sharon and Lori began to trail down the couple of steps to get to the sidewalk.
It was late on a Thursday evening- just a couple of days before we were set to leave and I had invited some of my closest friends over for dinner, like usual. I always tried to have something small before we departed, even though many of us would spend the next couple of months together... It was something I always looked forward to and everyone else seemed to as well.
That night was a little different through. I was home, but I felt like I had left a part of myself in New York... And in many ways, I had.
I had left the two most important people in my life there and even when I was occupied, I was still worrying about them.
"Try to get some rest, Stevie." Lori was walking backwards, carrying an empty casserole dish in one hand and waving with the other.
"Yes, take care of yourself for the next few days." Sharon added as she playfully blew a kiss.
Chuckling softly, I nodded my head as I watched them pass by the roses that lined the walkway. "I will." My lips were turned up into a smile, feeling much better after spending the evening with them.
They were people that I could talk to with no judgement... People that wanted to listen and really cared about what was happening in my world.
They always left me feeling lighter.
They waved goodbye once more, which caused me to giggle as I waited for them to get to their cars. And once they were in safe, I backed into the foyer and closed to the door behind me.
Like I said, it was late- after midnight, but I was still wide awake. Since I'd gotten home, I was back on my regular sleep schedule, being that there was really no one to take care of and nothing I needed to do during the day.
Letting out a soft sigh, I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and started to head for the kitchen, where I had dishes to do and leftovers to put away.
But just as I turned the corner, a light knock filled the foyer.
I let out a soft chuckle, almost certain that it was one of the girls coming back. "I'm coming!" I shouted as a smile trailed across my face. "What did you for-" I was getting ready to ask them what they had forgotten when I pulled open the door, only to be greeted by those two blue orbs.
"Hey..." he had one hand in his pants pocket as he lingered on the welcome mat out front.
I will never forget that night, or at least, I never want to.
"Hi..." I was nervous- I don't know why, but I was.
I couldn't remember the last time that he had showed up at my house in the middle of the night with no rhyme or reason... I knew it was serious- I could tell by the look in his eyes.
"Come inside. It's cold out here, honey." I reached out, taking his hand in mine as I led him into the house.
"I know it's late and I should have called first." He slipped out of his shoes, still letting me hold onto his hand as he did so.
Shaking my head softly, I could feel my heart beat faster. "It's okay." I shrugged lightly. "Did you eat dinner?" I wondered, not even asking him if he wanted to stay, but instead, just pulling him through the room towards the kitchen.
I had a couple of candles lit on the counter, the salad and pasta I had made in tupperware containers, a few empty wine glasses still sitting out and the radio playing on a low volume in the background.
It was a bit of a mess, but I knew he didn't mind.
"Yeah, I'm alright." He took seat at one of the bar stools, tangling his fingers in mine as he gently pulled me in closer. "Can we just talk for a second?" Lindsey's voice was soft as he slipped his free hand around my waist.
Nodding my head softly, my eyes stayed locked with his. "Of course." I assured, still a little more anxious than normal... I honestly wasn't sure what he was there to tell me.
He paused for a second and then he cracked a little grin. "I told her the truth..." he announced, which was honestly not what I was expecting to hear...
Raising a brow, I titled my head to the side as I grew quiet for a moment to really process that. "And...?" My voice cracked, needing to hear what else he had to say before I showed much emotion.
"And I'm sorry that it's taken this long for me to realize where I belong, Steph."
