~S~
If you want to call it an affair, you can but the truth is, it didn't really feel that way at the time. When we got home, things were different, of course, but when we were in New York- distant from our normal lives, it didn't seem like we were doing anything wrong.
Looking back, I know it was unfair to both of us and everyone involved, but we weren't known to ever be level headed when it came to our relationship... We didn't do things in a traditional way and I think this was just another example of that.
Anyway, that had started, but we still had things going on, so drowning in whatever we had created really wasn't an option... The very last thing we wanted was for Lark to find out.
We were doing so well together and if we had left on a bad note, I was worried that things would change again...I was scared that I would miss out on all the important things in Ruth's life, especially since they were so far away from us.
I was walking on eggshells and Lindsey should have been as well.
"Is she just perfect?" My mother was on the phone, having called me every day to check in on what was going on.
She wanted to be there and Lark wanted her to come out, obviously, but it would have been a long trip, especially in the middle of winter on the East Coast. It was a lot, even for Lindsey and I, so instead of having her fly out, every time we chatted, I just filled her in on all the details... With Lark and Ruth, of course.
"Too perfect for words." I had the phone pressed to my ear as I sat in the sofa with a very sleepy little baby in my arms.
Bonnie and Ray wanted to go out to dinner and since Lark and Austin hadn't gotten much time together, Lindsey and I offered to stay back with Ruth. So, we ordered Chinese, watched an old movie and by then, they were both fast asleep.
"I can imagine." She was so excited- I could hear it in her voice. "How's Lindsey? I bet he's just head over heels with being a grandpa." She chuckled softly, very much enticed with everything that was going on.
She couldn't wait to meet Ruth, she told me all the time and I was so thrilled for her... I knew she would capture my mothers heart just as she had mine.
Biting down on my lower lip, I gently glanced to my right, a soft smile trailing across my face when my eyes fell on him.
He was laying next to me, wrapped up in a throw blanket with his head on my leg, eyes closed and fast asleep... I don't know if I had always been that in love with him, or if I had fallen harder in the last few days.
Either way, we were closer than we had been in a long time.
"He's really great and he's been incredible." I assured in a soft tone of voice, not wanting to wake either of them.
I could hear her laugh on the other end, which made me smile in return. "And you two have been getting along okay?" Barbara hadn't asked about us at all, and I swear, she knew... I don't know how, but she did.
"Really well, actually." I probably could have worded that a little less suspicious, but.... She would find out anyway.
"Hm," she hummed softly, and I was certain that her eye brows were arched, her lips were pursed and she was thinking about that sentence for a moment. "Alright, TeeDee, well I have to go and make dinner." She didn't want to hear it and I guess I can understand why. "Tell Lark that I'll call her tomorrow and I hope you have a good night, sweet girl." She had always called me that... I was fifty- three and hearing that always made me feel so much better.
"I will, mom." I assured with a soft smile trailing across my face.
She was the first to hang up and once the signal dropped, I set the landline back down on the cradle as my eyes remained on Ruth, who had just started to glance around the room.
She was wrapped up in one of the blankets Suzanna had made her, a tiny knitted hat covering her ears, little mittens on her hands and blue eyes so bright and curious.
She reminded me so much of her mom, it was crazy.
"I'm gonna miss you so much when I have to leave..." I was already absolutely dreading it.
Not only was I going to be so heartbroken to leave my two girls behind, but I knew what that meant for Lindsey and I as well.
We had real things happening in California and that reality was always a hard pill to swallow.
"Did you hear that?" Lindsey whispered, eyes still closed. "She said that she's going to miss you more, grandma." He cracked a little smirk, finally opening those blue eyes as he let out a gentle yawn.
I tossed my head back as a soft giggle escaped me. "Have a good nap?" I wondered, one hand falling on his chest as I cradled Ruth with the other arm.
He reached up, tangling his fingers in mine as he nodded his head. "I had dream that-" just as he was getting ready to tell me about it, the sound of his cell phone ringing caught our attention and he began to sit up.
"Coffee table..." I motioned towards it, a soft smile on my face as my gaze dropped to Ruth once more.
When he picked it up, he grew very quiet, which told me all that I needed to know.
"You should answer it." I told him, only because I knew that he was contemplating it. "Something could be wrong." I reminded him of that, even though I knew he was aware... He knew that he needed to answer that call from her, especially when she had two of his kids all the way across the country.
"I'll be back." He grabbed his phone as he stood up and headed for the kitchen, not answering it until he was out of earshot.
And even though I could still hear his whispers, I decided to focus all my attention on my granddaughter. "You are my sunshine," I began to sing in a very quiet tone, trying to pretend like I wasn't sick to my stomach. "My only sunshine..." I continued, but only until he came back through to doorway and then I looked up, surprised that he was done talking already. "What-"
"Natalie's really sick..."
