~S~
Looking back, I could have probably been a little bit easier on him... Sometimes I forgot to remind myself that he also had a lot going on his life at the time. He was juggling a sick wife, two kids, a busy career, and a daughter that hardly ever reached out, whom he absolutely adored. I'm sure it was a stressful time for him and being so harsh probably wasn't the most helpful thing on my behalf.
I could have called him when I got home that night, asked him what he was going to say but I didn't. Instead, I soaked up those last few hours with my two girls and then, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I bid them a farewell at the airport.
It was a very emotional night for me, not just because they were leaving, but also the entire dinner at Lindsey's... that was very overwhelming, in many ways.
It was just the four kids- Lark, Eleanor, Foster, Ruth, and then Lindsey and I... That was it.
He had told us that Natalie wanted to be there to see the girls, but she hadn't been feeling that well that afternoon, and instead of just sleeping on the couch the entire evening, she decided to stay at her moms house.
Her absence made me feel really bad, but what made me feel worse was how much fun we had that evening. Lindsey may have invited us to dinner, but he never cooked much of anything, so he ordered take out from Lark's favorite Italian restaurant downtown, then we had ice cream sundaes, played a couple of games with the kids and before eight, we were heading out to send Lark and Ruth off to New York.
I had such a good time with them, and when good things come to an end, it is always a little emotional. So as Karen drove us back to my home in Santa Monica, I sat in silence the entirety of the ride as tears rolled down my cheeks and music played as very soft background noise.
I didn't want them to leave, but they had to.
Anyway, after that, life really went back to normal for all of us. Lark was calling every day, and sometimes twice a day to fill me in on all the excitement happening for them out East. They were back into the swing of things, which was good for them, but weird for me.
I had really gotten use to having Ruth, so for the first couple of weeks, I felt a little lost. But soon enough, we were back on the road to finish up our tour with the band.... which meant, Lindsey and I were together again.
~~~
We had gone the first couple of shows really just giving one another the side eye, not talking much more than we really had to and definitely not going out of our way to figure out what was going on in one another's life.
It was typical for us.
However, one morning, only a week into the second leg, there was a knock on my hotel room door. I had just gone to sleep about two hours earlier, so I was a little surprised... until I realized who it was, of course.
"Hey, there." He was standing out in the hallway, two cups of coffee in hand and a soft smile on his handsome face.
I hadn't seen him since the night before when we had argued over something small after we had gotten off stage... honestly, I can't even remember what it was about at this point- that's how useless it was.
Blinking heavily, I peeked out of the room to look down the hallway- totally empty. "It's nine in the morning, Lindsey." I reminded him, still clutching my robe to my chest as I trailed back into the room, leaving it open for him to step inside. "I kind of like to sleep in on my days off." I mumbled, trying hard not to roll my eyes when he closed the door behind him.
I wasn't mad at him, I really wasn't, but I was fed up. Sometimes it felt like we were just hamsters running on a wheel- we just went in circles around each other, never actually getting anywhere, but still totally exhausted.
It had been like that forever.
"I was bored." He didn't care if I was annoyed- he never did... it didn't really phase him. "And I know you usually hide out on days off, but I really missed you." Lindsey added as he made himself right at home-taking a seat on the couch, kicking his feet up and getting comfortable.
We had known each other for so long, it always felt safe when we were together...
"This one's yours." He added as he held out one of the cups of coffee for me to take.
Sighing softly, I reached out for the much needed cup of caffeine. "Thank you." I whispered as my tired eyes locked with his for a brief moment.
As much as I wanted some alone time, I also knew that he needed someone to talk to... I could tell.
"Let me get out of my pajamas and then we can hang out." I shrugged a shoulder softly, taking a sip of my drink as I turned to head into the bedroom portion of the suite.
"I'm gonna order breakfast." He half shouted, only loud enough for me to hear after I'd shut the door for a moment of privacy. "Want anything special?" Lindsey asked as he shuffled around the room to find a menu.
I couldn't help but smile as I stared at myself through the mirror. "Whatever you want is fine with me." I let out a soft chuckle as I began to get around for the day.
I knew he wasn't going to leave anytime soon, so I got dressed, put my hair up into a clip, threw on a little makeup and by the time I was stepping back into the living room, he was putting the plates out on the little circle table that sat by the window.
"I don't think I've gotten morning room service since Lark was on the road with us." I announced with a faint laugh as I leaned into the chair to watch him.
"It's okay to enjoy things in life once in awhile, Steph." He set my plate down, giving me a gentle wink. "Chocolate chip, obviously." Lindsey motioned towards the pancakes with whip cream on the side and some strawberries... One of my favorite guilty pleasures.
Well, that and animal crackers, of course.
"Thank you, Lindsey." My voice was gentle as I slowly slipped into the chair across from his. "I appreciate this." I was sure to mention, only because I felt like he needed to know that his efforts weren't going totally unnoticed.
It had been a long time since I'd had anyone surprise me like that and honestly, I would by lying if I said that it wasn't one of my favorite off days of that tour.
We didn't do anything crazy, or extravagant... We didn't have to. After that many years, we didn't have to go above and beyond all the time. So, we sat and ate in mostly silence. We talked a little about the weather, discussed the show from the night before, and laughed about the couple of weeks we had with Ruth and how that had really been the highlight of our year....
And once again, when I was least expecting it, I was reminded of how much I really loved him.
A/N:
I promise, there is a happy- ish end in sight, haha. Thank you all for reading along!
