~S~
"Aunt Stevie?" Eleanor was holding onto one of my hands and Ruth held tight to the other as we trailed through the park lot, headed towards the car.
We had spent a couple of hours at Disney, but with three kids under the age of five, it was a lot for us, especially since we were in our mid- fifties at the time... I think we realized, on that little outing, that we really weren't spring chickens anymore.
"Yes, sweet girl?" I glanced back over my shoulder, just to make sure that Lindsey and Foster were still following right along.
"Can we get ice cream before we go home?" Eleanor had the sweetest little voice- it just totally melted my heart.
She reminded me so much of Lark, it was actually crazy. They both had the unique blue eyes, the wild curls, those little dimples on the edge of their checks and the most contagious smiles that were just pure magic. It was special... They were special.
"Oh, I think we can do that." I hadn't been the most lenient mother, but I definitely was a really easy going grandma... And even though they called me "aunt Stevie," I always felt more like a grandma to them as well.
Lindsey chuckled softly, pulling open the back door of his car for the kids. "Ice cream, huh?" He teased, giving me a gentle wink as he picked Ruth up off the ground to put her in her car seat.
"With sprinkles, too!" Foster was three at that point, so he was such a little chatterbox with so much energy and enthusiasm- it was just amazing.
I gasped playfully as I climbed into the passenger seat, leaving it to Lindsey to get all three kids buckled in. "Of course, we have to have sprinkles." I assured, pulling down the visor to stare at myself in the little mirror for a second.
I might have looked a little tired and maybe I felt it too, but I was happy... I was so happy and my heart was so full that afternoon.
"Ice cream and sprinkles, it is then." Lindsey kept that handsome grin trailing across his face as he left a soft kiss on Ruth's forehead.
Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I sank back in the seat, waiting for him to venture around to the drivers side. "That was a lot of fun." I admitted as I watched him crawl in next to me.
"It was." He nodded lightly, turning his head to the side as we started to back out of the parking spot. "Thank you for coming with us, Steph." His hand crept over, gently taking mine in his grasp to tangle our fingers together.
Shifting in my seat, I slipped my hand back as my heart began to beat a little faster than before. "What flavor ice cream do you want?" I asked the kids in the back, who had been awfully quiet- probably exhausted from a long day of riding rides and walking around.
"Chocolate!" Eleanor and Foster shouted it in unison, which caused us both to chuckle in return.
~~
"So sleepy." I whispered as led the way up the sidewalk with Lindsey right behind me, carrying Ruth as I fished around for my house keys.
We had decided to go out to dinner after we left the park, then we got ice cream like we'd promised the kids, and on our back through town, Lindsey had to drop Eleanor and Foster off with their nanny.
She was only twenty- two, still in college but she had those two kids a lot... a lot more than I actually realized.
But at the time, Natalie had moved back into her mothers house for a little while as she tried to navigate the situation... He didn't tell me much, but he did tell me that, and it was only because I asked.
Of course, I knew that she was sick, but I never knew how bad it had gotten, because he never wanted to talk about it, not with me. He didn't want to let me into that portion of his life and I didn't pry, even though there were times when I definitely wanted to.
So, anyway, by the time we were pulling down the driveway of my home, the sun had gone down and Ruth was fast asleep in the backseat with her blanket wrapped around her and her stuffed animal in her arms.
It had been an exciting day for all of us.
"I'll carry her upstairs." He assured in a quiet tone of voice as he entered the foyer, where silence and darkness immediately welcomed us.
"Thank you, Lindsey." I began turning on the overhead lights as I worked on slipping out of my shoes to follow them up the stairs.
Ruth had always had a room at my house- one that was just hers. The walls were painted a soft shade of pink, there were more stuffed animals than I could count, she had a crib, books, sound machines and anything else that would make her transition at my house easier.
I wanted her to feel at home when she stayed with me, so giving her that space was important.
"Turn on her nightlight." I was already standing in the doorway, having already tucked her in for the night.
Lindsey cracked a grin, flicking the switch to turn on the little moon light in the corner. "Good night, Ruthie." He whispered through the room as he headed for the door.
I giggled softly as I quietly closed the heavy wood once he had made it back into the hallway. "So I'll see you on Friday, right?" I was trying to make small talk, even though we had never needed that...
Silence was never awkward for us, but something about how still the house seemed that night was almost eating away at me... I couldn't walk him to the door and not say a single thing, which was odd.
We had known each other for almost forty years- sometimes silence was key to not fighting.
"I'll see you on Friday." He agreed as one of his hands fell on the small of my back.
I stopped at the bottom of the steps, chewing on my lower lip as my eyes locked with his. "Have a good night, Lindsey..." I whispered, feeling something that I definitely shouldn't have felt.
"Good night, baby." He whispered back, which caused my heart to sink into the very pit of my stomach.
Nodding softly, I slipped my arm around his shoulders, eyes never leaving his. "I love you." I told him in a gentle tone.
He leaned in, lips meeting mine as he rubbed my back softly. "I love you, too."
