"There's someone else." He admitted in a low, very mundane tone as he continued to run his fingers through my natural curls... He was so unfazed by it all, which caught me more off guard more than anything else.
I didn't take my head off his chest, instead I just listened to the sound of his heart beating for a long moment as I tried to think of something to say.... something to ask. "You found someone else, or she found someone else?" I already knew the answer, but I was really wishful thinking that maybe I was wrong... Maybe it wasn't him that wandered, yet again.
He let out a really dry laugh, obviously a little defeated, but not, at the same time. "Oh, Steph..." his hand fell down to my arm, patting it gently as he let out a sigh... He was a little disappointed. "I met someone else." Lindsey wasn't going to tell me every little detail- I already knew that and honestly, I'm glad he didn't...
Some things were better left a mystery with us and whatever was happening in his marriage was always top of that list.
"You met someone else, while Natalie's been sick...?" I creased a brow, not very impressed with that, at all.
And you may think that I sounded a little jealous, or maybe even annoyed, but I was neither of those things... I was worried, and taken aback, but nothing more and nothing less.
"I'm not having an affair, or anything crazy like that, Stevie." He clarified, which was kind of a sigh of relief... I don't know why, but it was. "It's just..." he shrugged a shoulder, almost like I understood what he meant and I really didn't.
I couldn't really read his mind anymore, not in those kinds of situations. Sometimes I was really confused with him and his emotions, and then there were times when I knew him like that back of my hand.
"So you just met someone and you're going to leave your wife for her?" I couldn't look up, because I really didn't want to look into his eyes, so I just stared down at nothing in particular as my hand gently rubbed his chest.
I won't lie- I was maybe a little heartbroken in the moment, but it wasn't the first time... We had been there before- a couple of times, actually, so I knew, we'd get through it.
Whatever he was going through would pass and we could come out on the other side... We always had in the past.
"You make it sound simple." He cracked another little smirk, almost like he wasn't announcing that he was ending something that was so important to him.
He loved having a family- he always had, and in all honesty, I had never, ever imagined that he would end up divorced... I always figured that they would tough it out- all the hardships, all the challenges and all the difficulties would just be swept under the rug to save what they had created.
"Well, it is..." I was oblivious, I really was and looking back, I feel silly now. "If you love someone else, it should be simple." I added, not in a mean way, but a really sympathetic, gentle way.
Lindsey chuckled, which almost made me roll my eyes... I didn't understand why he was being so nonchalant about that. It kind of drove me crazy. "Will you dance with me?" He wondered, no longer wanting to discuss all the complex problems in his life.
"You want to dance right now?" I couldn't help but scoff, finally tilting my head up to look at him.
He nodded softly as his eyes clearly scanned over my face. "Listen to what just started playing..." he whispered as he slowly began to sit up with me still wrapped in his arms.
I paused for a second, listening to the intro of one of the most famous songs by The Mama's and The Papa's. "All the leaves are brown..." I started to sing along in a playful manner as he began to help me off the sun bed.
Sometimes he could be really sentimental- not often, but occasionally and when it happened, I turned into putty in his hands.
"And the sky is gray." Lindsey wrapped his arm around my waist as he laced his fingers through mine with the other hand.
I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. There was a lot of comfort that came in moments like that- moments that simple and I always seemed to forget how safe it was in each others arms, until we wound up there again.
It was just the two of us, listening to the same song we had been singing for over forty years, while he swayed me back and forth by the pool. And I just went along with it, letting him guide me around, even though he had always been a man with two left feet...
"Is it that photographer?" My head was pressed to his chest once more, eyes closed and heart beating a mile a minute as I circled back to the conversation that we had just shared.
I didn't want it to bother me, but it kind of did. I wanted to know who it was, even though it wasn't my business and he owed me nothing... I was curious and maybe a little sad, too.
His lips met my forehead as he rubbed the small of my back softly. "No, baby." Lindsey's voice was very light and even though he was speaking to me in such a gentle way, I knew that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
So, after that, I decided to drop it, even though my mind was reeling. Maybe it wasn't anyone I knew, or met along the way- maybe it was someone totally different. Maybe he was in love with the lady that sold Chanel Number Five at the perfume counter at Macy's, or maybe some he ran into a woman at a restaurant or a bar and they hit it off...
I didn't really know and he didn't want to tell me, so I had to let it go.
"Will you stay if I make dinner?" I smirked softly, kind of teasing him and kind of not.
With a soft laugh immediately flooding the warm summer air around us, he nodded his head. "Of course, I will."
