~L~
Once we were home, life just naturally fell back into place... right back into that same old routine. At first it was a hard adjustment- it always was when Ruth left my parents, but luckily before long, she was back to regular play dates, afternoons at the zoo, going to the park, and really just enjoying her time with Maggie, which I was so thankful for.
And I was back to working ten hour days, while trying to juggle a marriage and motherhood, so I really didn't have much time to worry about what was happening in the world around me, especially out West... I just didn't.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I spoke to both of my parents pretty regularly, but it was always when Ruth was around, because she always had so much to tell them.... she was such a talker, just like her grandma.
In fact, back then, Ruth would call out West and spend an hour or more on the phone with my mother every evening. I'll hand it to her, even if she was working, Stevie still carved out the time to listen to Ruth recount everything she'd been up to. And sometimes it was repetitive and confusing to follow along with, but she still cared more than anyone in the entire world.
Of course, it was the same with her grandpa, who called a little less, but was still as involved as much as he could be... His circumstances were a little different than my mothers though.
Anywho, life was typical by then, which has always been really boring for me. I had grown up in a world where there was constantly something happening- somewhere to go, someone to see, something to do, and suddenly, I was just a regular New Yorker... Catching a taxi, dropping my groceries in the street at a crosswalk, tripping over my shoelaces as I ran through the city to get to work on time.
I was living the dream, obviously.
However, in the midst of living life, one Friday night in the Spring of 2007, after Ruth had gone to bed and the world was beginning to settle down, the house phone rang... there was only two people that ever called the house phone at that point, so I knew it was one of my parents before I even answered.
"Hello?" I smiled softly, looking over at the old clock on the kitchen wall... it read midnight.
"Hey, kiddo." Lindsey's voice filled the phone a moment later, which honestly, kind of surprised me... He rarely called that late. "I didn't wake you, did I?" He wondered in a gentle tone of voice- probably just than realizing what time it was.
Creasing a brow, I leaned into the side of the island. "No, I'm awake." I assured. "What's up? Is everything okay?" It wasn't like him to call out of the blue... I expected that more from my mother.
"Oh, yeah, everything is fine." He sounded really gentle- I could tell there was something weighing heavy on his mind before he mentioned it.
I couldn't help but chuckle, slowly slipping into a chair at the bar as I let out a little sigh. "Do you know what Ruth asked us for?" I figured that he would tell me whatever he had called to tell me eventually, so I decided to keep the conversation flowing, until he was ready to break my heart.... And I knew he would.
I could feel it.
Lindsey cracked a grin- I could hear it through the phone. "Hmm, maybe a guitar?" The way he said that caused me to giggle.
"Yeah, I figured she got that idea from you." I teased, rolling my eyes playfully as my chin fell in my hand.
They had already been pushing the music thing... Stevie was the one that had convinced me to get her into piano lessons and Lindsey was always telling me to hand her a guitar, and let her run with it.
They both believed that she was the next greatest thing and for them, I think she really was.
He let out a soft, very quiet laugh and for a second, I could hear him shuffling around. "Ruth is creative..." he lingered, not telling me anything that I didn't already know. "And I think a guitar is the perfect gift for a creative kid." He added, which immediately reminded me how great of a parent he had always been.
He used to think I was the very best at everything I did. When I was learning to color inside the lines, he was convinced that I was going to be an artist. When my mom taught me to play the intro to one of her songs on the piano, he was certain that I would be playing alongside incredible keyboardists.
He was always patient and kind... He wanted me to go far and he wanted the same for Ruth.
"Yeah..." I nodded lightly, almost like he could see me as I gently bit down on my lower lip. "So, why are you calling me tonight, dad?" I wondered in a very soft, very mundane tone of voice.
The small talk hadn't lasted very long, but I was over it.
He paused for a moment and I already knew exactly what he was going to tell me. "We've decided not to go through with the div-"
"I knew it." I scoffed.
I realized it immediately that I was more annoyed with him than I had been in a really long time.... years, in fact.
"It's not like that, Lark." That was his go to saying at that time...
It was never like that with him, even though, it very much was... Like when he told me that staying the night at my moms house wasn't like that, until he was telling me that he was leaving his wife for her.
"I'm tired of hearing that." Maybe I was more mad than I was annoyed...
"There's a lot going on right now and I don't want to pull your-" he was rattling off excuses, so I just cut him off to save his breath.
Looking back, I was too hard on him. I should have just let him tell me what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he was going through, but I didn't.
"I'll talk to you later, Lindsey." I always called him that when I was feeling a certain type of way and that night, I definitely was. "I have too much going on out here to worry about that mess anymore than I already have."
