~L~
I remember that afternoon well... too well. It was a memory I use to wish would just erase itself from my mind.
I knew it was wasn't going to be good as soon as I stepped into the living room. That was a tell tale sign that something big was going down.
Little did I know, that was just the beginning of really dreadful family conversations that would transpire in that very spot.
Anyway, it's so engraved in my memory, I can still remember exactly what they were wearing that afternoon.
She had been home for two weeks and her wardrobe had suddenly only consisted of flowing silk gowns and even a hint of color. And she had started pulling her long blonde hair up into clips... she almost reminded me of the other mothers I'd see picking their kids up from school in a minivan.
She was different- she was calmer in a way that almost didn't settle well with me.
And he was the same- he was always the same... An old t-shirt and a pair of jeans- predictable and safe.
"Did you have a good weekend?" My dad took a seat on the accent chair, trying to make some small talk before they tore my world apart yet again.
Glancing from him, to her and then back to him, I let off an uneasy nod. "It was fun." I don't know what I was expecting- I think I was more prepared for some type of intervention than I was anything else.
I won't lie, I was pretty rowdy at that time.
I remember this one occasion, when I was still real young, I was standing outside the kitchen door, listening in on my mother's conversation with my grandma. She kept telling Stevie that I was going to be a handful- your kids are always ten times harder than you were... that's just common knowledge.
And maybe I was- maybe I gave Stevie a run for her money, but I've apologized for it many times since then.
We're okay now... we really are.
"What is this about?" I knew it wasn't going to be good, so I wanted it to be over with.
The way her brown eyes met mine spoke volumes... And it was loud, too. "Your father and I have been doing a lot of thinking..." she said that like they were spending their free time constructing ways to cure illnesses, or something... it sounded that serious.
"Mhmm," I raised a brow, trying hard to read her mind. "I know that isn't always easy for you." My words were hurtful- I did it on purpose.
"Come on, Lark." Lindsey shifted in his chair, shaking his head lightly. "Let your mother talk, please." He added, trying his best to sympathize with me and also stand up for her at the same time.
It really couldn't have always been easy being stuck in between Stevie and I. We were two headstrong people with thoughts and opinions that were so wildly different, it was hard to believe that I was hers.
But I was. I was hers and I'm so thankful for that.
Pushing some of her blonde strands behind her ear, it was very obvious how uncomfortable she'd become. "We've been working really hard on our relationship..." that was the worst thing in the entire world that she could have said to begin that spiel. "We've spent a lot of time talking, thinking, and..." she paused, probably trying to decide what she was going to conjure up next. "We've fallen in love." She continued, which instantly caused my stomach to twist into tight knots.
I couldn't believe that and I didn't even give it any time to sink in before I replied. "Give me a break." I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief.
There was no way they could have fallen in love again- they could hardly get along. It was a constant cycle with them- a never ending cycle of bullshit, after bullshit.
They were just two hopeless romantics trying to figure out where they were supposed to be, that was it.
"We're finally ready to move forward together." Lindsey's words were so unlike him, I knew it was rehearsed... They'd practiced and rehearsed that little act.
Rolling my eyes, I pushed myself up off the couch abruptly. "You've both lost your minds." I knew it wouldn't work- they were like mixing oil and water, it was toxic.
They've changed since then, but back then... I didn't think it was possible.
"Lark..." She was trying to sound like the rational one, even though she knew better, herself. "We've been seeing each other for months, we wouldn't announce this if we didn't think it was going to work." She wanted to be hopeful- she really did, but she wasn't fooling me.
She never did.
"When you're heartbroken, don't come crying to me." I wasn't trying to call either of them out, but I knew... I knew one of them would mess up and I was right.
There was this overly thick silence that washed over the room after that- they were thinking about it, hard.
"Where are you going?" Her voice was so weak and so defeated as she watched me head for the foyer.
I looked back for one second, almost totally disgusted with them both. "Worry about yourself."
And that was it. She let me leave that afternoon without another word being spoken between us. She had given up... but so had I.
I found refuge in the only place that ever seemed normal- Suzanna's house.
I called her from my neighbors house phone and she was there to pick me up within ten minutes.
I knew my mother had started calling around by then- I'm sure Suzanna had let her know right away that I was safe and I was going to stay there for the night.
And Suzanna listened. She always listened and didn't speak until she felt like she was ready to. So she let me ramble on about them all night- she always did, yet she never voiced much of an opinion.
I think she agreed with both sides to some extent...
She wanted us all to be happy- I knew that, but I wanted to think that she was always on my side, even though I knew she understood my mother as well.
"It won't last long." I had tears in my eyes as my head stayed plastered to her shoulder.
We were sitting on the sofa in her little home... it was so normal- I loved it.
"I hate this." I added.
Deep down, I wanted them to be together...
Of course, I did. Everyone wants their parents to be happily married, in order to have that picture perfect life, but I knew better. They weren't like that- they never would be and I hated when they got my hopes up.
They'd been doing it my entire life.
She nodded her head, running her fingers through my hair as she tried her best to sympathize with me. "We have to let them figure it out on their own."
