~S~
Lindsey and I spent the next three months on the road, and by the time that leg of the tour was coming to an end, we were nearly inseparable. We spent all of our days off together, curled up in a hotel room, still trying to keep our relationship on the down low... It felt like 1980 again- a time when we were sneaking around after we'd already broken up and had a baby...
However, even though it felt awfully familiar in a lot of ways, it was also new and exciting. I was relearning things about him that had seemed to slip my mind in the nearly ten years since we'd been in a real relationship and I felt like he was doing the same with me.
Time changes you and at sixty, I was no longer the woman that I was at thirty and he wasn't the same man. But even though we'd both been touched by the hands of time, I still liked him... In fact, I really loved and even admired the person he was by then.
He was gentle, more so than ever before and I had definitely fallen in love again...
Anyway, even though everything seemed to be going okay when we were away and it was just the two of us, I knew that once we were home, life would go back to normal... We had different lives and pretending they didn't exist was nearly impossible.
"I'm actually really nervous." I was standing in the kitchen of my home, cradling a cup of tea close to my lips as I stared across the island at Lark.
She was sitting on a barstool, picking apart a piece of toast and staring aimlessly at the morning paper in front of her.
She had gotten into town a couple of days after we got home. She had admitted that she was having a hard time being so far away, especially since all she really had out there was Ruth...
She was lonely and when you're lonely, you should always go home to your mom... It always worked for me and I was happy that it did for Lark, too.
Being her safe space in a crazy, unfair world made me feel like I had succeeded at something.
So, three days after Lindsey and I got back to California, her and Ruth were sneaking through the front door with their bags in hand... Having them home felt like all would be okay, once more.
"They love you, mom." She gave me a gentle smile, trying to be as reassuring as possible. "There's nothing to be nervous about." She added with a soft shrug of her shoulders.
Biting down on my lower lip, I let out a soft sigh as I set my cup down on the marble top. "This is a lot..." I admitted, shaking my head in defeat as I physically felt my blood pressure begin to rise.
She was right- I shouldn't have been nervous, but I was, even though I was hiding it awfully well from Lindsey, who had taken Ruth to pick up Elenor and Foster for the weekend...
I was so anxious about them staying with us for the weekend, I had stressed everyone out around me. I had put Karen and Lark to work to get two of the spare bedrooms sorted and comfortable. Then we went to the store and picked up all their favorite food and rented all their favorite movies... Anything that I could think of to ensure that they felt at home at my house was important to me.
And honestly, I think it went back to the idea that I was subconsciously reminding myself of how upset Lark was when Lindsey had left for Natalie's and didn't come back. She was so confused, angry, really upset at the world and she was already eighteen, so I was worried that the kids would feel like I was just totally taking their dad away from their family... And that was the last thing I wanted them to feel, because that wasn't what I was doing, or at least, it didn't seem that way.
"Stephanie..." she put on her very best Barbara impersonation, reaching out to take my hand in hers as she let out a faint chuckle. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as their step mom, so don't worry all the time about doing everything right." Lark could be very calm at times... not always, but occasionally.
I couldn't help but giggle, giving her hand the softest squeeze. "Step mom is a bit of a stretch, but..." I raised a brow playfully, still keeping that gentle smile on my face as my eyes scanned over her sweet face.
She was doing better- a lot better and I was so happy about that. She was still seeing a therapist, but she'd reached out to her friends and they had something planned almost every day of the week since she'd been back home... She needed that, a lot.
She smirked softly, shrugging lightly. "Never know, it might not be." She added as she pushed herself off the stool slowly. "Crazier things have happened." She added as she set her cup in the sink and began to trail towards the back door.
Creasing a brow, I opened my mouth to ask what she meant, but before I got the chance, the sound of the front door opening caught my attention.
And with that came loud voices, contagious laughs and feet running through the foyer... It had been a long time since my house had sounded that carefree.
"Hi, grandma." Ruth was the first to make it into the kitchen, but the other two kids were close behind.
"Hi, aunt Stevie!" Foster gave me a big wave and a grin as he trailed in behind with his backpack in one hand and his stuffed animal in the other.
"We've missed you so much!" Eleanor hurried in last, holding out both of her arms for a hug.
Chuckling softly, I bent down to be level with them as the nerves that I had built up immediately began to disintegrate. "I've missed you way more." I assured as I glanced up to see Lindsey standing in the doorway with a smile on his face and pizza boxes in his hands.
He still had his sunglasses covering his eyes, a white shirt that had the top buttons undone and hair in wild curls... He made my heart skip a beat.
"I love you..." he mouthed to me with a soft wink and a light grin.
Nodding my head, I could feel the tears burn the brims of my eyes as I began to stand back up. "Lark's in the backyard, sitting by the pool and I'm sure she'd love some company." I teased, which immediately sent a wave of excitement through the room as the kids began to run for the sliding glass door. "Be careful..." I whispered more to myself, since they were already out into the warm afternoon sun by then.
"Poor Lark." Lindsey joked as he pushed himself away from the doorframe to head further into the kitchen.
Waving a hand lightly, I smiled a tad as I watched him set the boxes down on the counter. "Hey..." reaching out slowly, I gently grabbed his arm to get his attention.
"Yes?" He chuckled softly as he slipped his arms around my waist and lightly pressed me back into the island. "You're beautiful...." He whispered before I even got the chance to reply.
Tossing my head back lightly, I let a soft giggle fill the air around us. "So funny." I brought my eyes back to his handsome face as I used both my hands to pull his sunglasses off. "That's better." I announced the moment my eyes met his deep blue storms. "Now I can tell you how much I love you, too."
