~L~
That Sunday night- the day after the wedding, we played a serious game of Tetris in the SUV that I had gotten for my birthday a couple of years earlier. We had laid the seats down, packed it with boxes of clothes, blankets, some old hand me down dish sets... All the random things that we couldn't live without in New York.
And on Monday morning, before the sun when rose over the California coast, we said the hardest goodbyes we had ever experienced before.
"Be careful and call me at every stop." Stevie was still in her pajamas, long blonde hair up in a clip, glasses on her nose and slippers on her feet... It was just barely five and I knew, for a fact, she hadn't even gone to sleep yet.
"Don't talk to strangers either, especially in the desert." Lindsey was right beside her, having come over about an hour earlier for coffee and to see us off.
Austin's parents were there too, but they were off to the side, helping him load a couple more things in the back seat and bidding him a farewell... It was emotional for everyone.
"I won't, dad." I let out a little chuckle, tears already lingering in my eyes as he reached out to pull me in for a hug.
He was sad- I could tell by the tone in his voice and the look in his blue orbs... They were always easy to read.
"Promise us that you won't drive through the night or anything crazy like that?" One of my moms hands met his shoulder, rubbing it a tad as her other hand fell on my cheek softly. "Get a hotel room and get rest." She added in a very serious, very motherly way.
She was worried.
"I promise." I whispered, soaking up that hug for as long as I could... I was going to miss them more than I even thought was possible at the time.
"If you need anything, at any time, just call us." Karen was there too, half asleep on the first step but still there, nonetheless.
I couldn't help but giggle, even though the tears were rolling down my cheeks. "I love you all." I did and I do, but I was really feeling it that morning...
I was so thankful that I was theirs and they were mine- all of them.
"Oh, baby, hold on." My mom hurried back towards the patio, chuckling softly when Karen held out that bag for her. "I made you something for your apartment..." she gave her assistant a playful wink before she headed back to us.
Creasing a brow, I remember holding out my hands for the gold paper bag that she filled with gorgeous tissue and little ribbons... She always did everything very elegant, even little going away presents were that important to her. "Mom..." My voice cracked the moment I unwrapped it to see the most perfect dreamcatcher ever. "You made this?" I already knew the answer, but I wanted to confirm, only because it was so beautiful.
"Just for you, sweet girl." She assured, also in tears as she stared down at it too.
It's one of the most special things that I own, even today. Besides the baby blankets that she made with the help of my grandma, that is my favorite thing in the world... It's something that I'll keep forever.
"It's incredible." I nodded my head, hardly able to see her since my vision had started to blur and my bottom lip had been trembling.
"So are you." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, giving me the warmest squeeze. "Dad and I will see you in New York."
~S~
They drove for four days. They left on Monday and didn't make it to New York until Thursday evening. And like they promised, she called from every gas station, rest stop, hotel and restaurant they stopped at along their journey, letting both Lindsey and I know that they were doing okay in their travels... It was the scariest week ever for me as a mother.
I was on the edge of my seat every couple of hours, waiting to hear from her. Back then, cell phones weren't super popular, so I stayed home for those hand full of days, and waited by the house phone to make sure I didn't miss any calls.
And when they made it to the city and got their stuff moved into their tiny apartment, we spent three hours on the phone as she told me about all the things they'd come across in their drive across the country.
She loved it... She loved the adventure, but she always had.
In this lifetime, she was destined to be a girl on a mission- someone who was bound to see the world and I think that was the first real stepping stone in her journey.
She was living her dream and I was learning to cope.
It's going to sound kind of cliché, but I had never really felt more alone... If Karen wasn't over, I found that the house was a lot quieter than I had ever remembered it being before.
"You can't keep calling me like this." I had a soft smirk on my face as I sat up in bed, the phone pressed to my ear as I listened to him chuckle on the other end.
It was late- a little after midnight, but those calls hadn't been uncommon for us. Lindsey would call in the middle of the night quite often and I would answer... until I didn't anymore and there came a time when I wouldn't.
"Who says?" He had a little grin on his face too- I could hear it through the phone.
Biting down on my lower lip, I sank back into the sheets. "How was the doctors appointment?" I decided to just ignore his question, because I knew it wasn't going to get us very far...
He paused for a moment, a soft sigh coming before he replied. "Can we talk about something else?" Lindsey never, ever wanted to tell me what was going on in that portion of his life and most of the time, I really didn't ask.
I didn't know what was happening over there... and the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that Lark didn't know either.
I don't think either of us really cared like we should have.
"No," I shook my head softly, even though it nearly broke my heart. "We shouldn't be talking at all."
