~S~
"What does this mean for us?" He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at his hands as he spun his gold wedding band around his finger from the build up of nerves.
And he probably had good reason to be a little bit anxious... He was the one with the family. He had a wife and two kids that were waiting for him at home, and honestly, I wasn't entirely convinced that he had even called to check in on them since we'd gotten to New York...
He had a reason to be nervous.
"Lindsey..." I looked at him through the full length mirror, where I had been doing my makeup. "I don't know." I tossed my mascara tube back into the bag that was sitting on the desk in the suite. "You're the married one, why don't you tell me?" I wasn't being mean, or at least I didn't think that I was in the moment, but looking back, it might have come out that way...
I was also very confused about the situation that we had found ourselves in... again.
He glanced up slowly, eyes melting right into mine through the glass.
And at first I thought he might say something- tell me what was running through his mind, but when a moment of silence came and went, I decided to speak up. "Are you still in love with me this morning?" I wondered, gaze traveling back to my own reflection.
I was still in my silk pajamas, some of my hair in a clip, some of my hair in rollers and half of my makeup on. I was a mess and I had been up for hours, so there was no excuse to not be ready, but there I was- running late.
Nothing could ever just be simple with us.
He scoffed softly, nodding his head as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. "I've been in love with you for thirty years." By then, he had unclasped his hands and he had shifted on the bed, a smirk rolling across his handsome face.
I paused for a second, heart beginning to beat a mile a minute as I slowly turned around to face him. "You've said that before..." there was some kind of adrenaline and excitement that lingered in my tone of voice, but that was nothing new... that had always come with our mysterious relationship.
It was never easy, or cookie cutter, but it was thrilling from the start.
Nodding his head, he held out a hand for me and without any hesitation, I took it in my grasp and slowly trailed closer. "What if I said that I love you more than I love anyone in the entire world..." His voice was also gentle and his blue eyes held so much warmth, I swear, I could feel it radiating.
I stared down at him, pursing my lips to the side as I thought about it for a second. "I know better than to believe that..." I whispered as my eyes began to scan over his facial features.
"I've never felt this way about anyone else." Now that is something that I could believe, but only because I felt the same way about him... I always had.
The truth is, no matter what happened between us, there was no one that could ever really compare to Lindsey, even if I wanted them to and even I tried to make them... It just didn't happen. I never shared any other overly special connection with anyone else, not like the sparks that were there with Lindsey.
And he felt it too...
"We don't have forever together..." my eyes were starting to burn as I spoke to him in the most gentle, quiet voice.
"But we have this week." He told me. "And then we can figure it out after."
~L~
I remember staring out the window of my apartment that sat four floors up, looking down at the traffic that flooded the streets of the Upper Eastside. It was a cold morning- the snow was coming down, the people were hurrying, the taxis' were honking and the city was in full swing.
The world was moving quick and I was just waiting for my parents, who had promised that they would be there early that morning, but when noon rolled around and they still hadn't arrived, I started to get a little worried.
It was an unfamiliar city to them. I mean, they had been there a million times, but never alone... Never just the two of them, without security and assistants- people telling them where to go and what to do, so I was kind of concerned that something had happened.
But just as I was getting ready to pick up the house phone to call over to their hotel, I saw them- hand in hand, trialing down the sidewalk. And even from up above, I could tell that they were laughing, talking, maybe even joking.
They looked happy in one another's company, which was a sigh of relief for me.... I had no idea what had started the night before and I wouldn't, not for quite awhile, at least.
"I was starting to worry about you." I pulled open the door just as they were coming down the hallway, a smile on my face as I listened to their laughs the entire way.
It was so good to see them getting along again.
"Your dad isn't the best at driving in the snow." Stevie teased, a little giggle escaping her as she kept her fingers laced with his.
"Hey," he grinned lightly, staring into her eyes like she was the only person in the room and maybe to him, she was. "We did good." Lindsey chuckled as he playfully tugged on her hand.
Creasing a brow, I leaned back against the wall for a second, watching as he helped her out of her jacket.
And I think, maybe for a minute, I did find it a little odd... The flirting, the giggles, the carefree nature of their behavior when he was married to someone else, but then at the same time, I thought it was normal.
There were plenty of occasions when they acted the exact same way and I suspected nothing... Maybe I should have.
"Where's sweet Ruthie?" My mother wondered, slowly trailing around the corner to head for the living room. "There's grandmas girl." She gasped when she saw her, lying in the bassinet that I had set up by the window.
Smiling softly, I leaned into the doorframe to watch her pick up the baby as carefully as possible. "She's the best..." I whispered that only loud enough for my dad to hear.
He nodded his head, one hand in his pants pocket as he let a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "She really is."
