~L~
Nothing changed... The more I think about it, nothing ever really changed. I still spoke to him almost every day, but when I went out that summer to drop Ruth off with my mother, I didn't see him... I didn't make it a point to carve out time for even just one afternoon in my three days there to visit. That was when I really realized how upset I was about the entire situation.
They went about that summer like usual or I think they did, at least. They bounced her back and forth from their houses and I never asked, not once what was going on with that... I really didn't care what Stevie and Lindsey were doing.
And that year, my mom kept Ruth a little longer and in September, I met them in Chicago for the tapping of Stevie's live performance in the city... It was exciting and fun.
It had been a long since I had been in that environment and to say that I had missed it would be an understatement. I loved it and so did Ruth.
In fact, growing up, she was all about the concerts, the music and the crowds. She would stand in the wings, helping Karen with the shawls, dancing like she was the only one in the room, all while she watched her grandma perform her favorite songs.
Sometimes I think Ruth thought it was all for her and my mom always made it seem that way, too.
Anyway, we went months like that. I didn't see my dad for quite a while and not because I didn't want, but because I had always had a hard time understanding them and distancing myself was always easier than facing reality.
If I didn't see my parents together, I didn't have to think about it and I liked it better like that.
~S~
I think I've said this before... but I think it's important to know that when you're busy making plans, life happens. And no one- no matter how much money you have, how young you are, how healthy you've been is an exception to that.
However, it always comes as a shock... always. And that morning, when I got that call, I would definitely say that I was shocked.
It was the Winter of 2009, just a month into the new year and life was very mundane at the time. We were gearing up to leave for another tour, so we were back in rehearsals... Actually, that's where we were when we got the news.
"I think that sounds good..." Lindsey was really tired- I could tell by the look lingering in his eyes as he spun around aimlessly in the swivel chair.
It was two in the morning and we had been there most of the evening, so everyone was starting to slow down... even I felt a little worn out, which wasn't usual back then.
"I think so too." I nodded my head softly, taking a seat in an empty chair as I reached for my coffee on the stand.
We had been doing really well, but I think it helped that we really didn't touch on any topics other music and the girls. We spent a lot of time laughing and chatting about Ruth, which was really the only thing keeping us connected, besides work.
The only real thing we had in common, at the time.
"It's been a long night." He ran the palm of his hand from his forehead down to his chin as this deep, very heavy sigh escaped him.
He had a lot going on at home.
One of the guys had mentioned that he had moved out into the studio that was separate from their house after they had decided to work out their issues, rather than go through the whole divorce process... I didn't know what happened with all of that and I never asked him what was going on.
I kind of assumed that the woman that he was planning to leave Natalie for had told him that she didn't want anything serious... Not serious enough to leave his family, at least. But then again, I really didn't know- that was just what I thought had happened.
"Hey...?" Karen popped into the room a second later, a look of concern written across her face as she held out her old flip phone. "Lark needs to talk to you." She was a little shaken up, which wasn't like her.
Karen was tough, so for her to act like that, I knew something had happened.
I took the phone as my eyes immediately traveled to Lindsey, who was already pushing himself up to come closer. "Baby?" I kept my eyes locked with his blue storms as I held the phone up to my ear to hear her.
But she was a mess... I had never heard her that distraught, actually. I could hardly even understand what she was saying, until she cleared her throat.
"Oh, my gosh." I gasped lightly, almost head bumping Lindsey as I stood up. "Is he okay?" I used my free hand to reach out, lacing his fingers in mine as I tried to stay calm for Lark, who was not.
"What?" Lindsey pulled me in slowly, wrapping one arm around my waist as he leaned in to hear what she was saying.
I tilted the phone closer for him as my eyes fell down the linoleum floor. "I can come out there. I can be there in the morning." I don't remember what exactly she was saying, but I do remember that my heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt sick to my stomach.
The rest is sort of a blur.
"What happened?" Lindsey was in a full panic by then, but his voice was still soft and calm... He could usually be level headed when he wanted to be and that was one of those moments.
Creasing a brow, I sank right into him as I continued to listen to Lark ramble on the other end of the line. "Austin had a heart attack."
