~S~
I spent that first night and the next morning exactly as I usually did when I didn't have Ruth. I stayed up until six in the morning, slept until late afternoon, had coffee with Sharon at a little place in Venice Beach and then, before ten that Saturday night, I found myself out on the back patio with a cup of tea, my journal and the house phone.
"How has she been doing in her dance class? She was telling me all about it when I spoke to her and dad earlier." Lark and I never missed a phone call- never, no matter what was happening in the world around us.
And that was one of those nights- when a lot was going on, yet we still found the time to share our day. She was working a double at the hospital, so it was after one in the morning out East, but she was still making it a point to call on her first break in the shift.
"She's doing really well with it." My voice was soft as I laid out on the sun bed, eyes looking up at the night sky. "She is our sweet baby ballerina." I added with a soft laugh as my mind drifted back to our Wednesday afternoons in the studio down the road.
Back then, Ruth used to let me put her little blonde curls into two pig tails, and she insisted on always wearing different pink tutu's, so my house was overflowing with tulle, tiny ballet slippers, and leotards... It felt like we had transported twenty years into the past, when Lark was still little.
"She is," she let out a giggle on the other end, which caused my lips to turn up instantly.
"The moon is full tonight, Lark." I tilted by head to the side, still looking up at the big light that hung high in the sky.
"Yeah, I saw that." She assured with a soft, sweet tone lingering in her voice. "Are you casting spells, or writing songs tonight?" Lark's smirk spoke right through the phone... I missed that girl more than anything.
Tossing my head back, I let a deep laugh escape me as I closed my eyes for a moment. "Oh... my fine Skylark." I still had a soft smile on my face and I really wanted to tell her how much we were missing her, but I didn't want to make her to feel bad.
She always felt a little guilty and reminding her of everything she was missing out on wasn't fair for us to do...
"I-" she was getting ready to say something, but then she paused and I could hear another woman's voice linger through the room. "I have to go, but I'll call you back tomorrow, mom." Lark assured, which caused my heart to sink into the pit of my stomach.
I wanted to stay on the phone with her forever, like always.
"I'll talk to you later, baby." I nodded lightly, and then I waited for her to hang up the phone before I set mine back down on the patio table, next to my cup of tea.
I think I might have sat out there for another hour with a blanket covering my legs, the radio playing on low through the outside speakers, the fairy lights lit as I stared out at the inflatable floats that would drift right across the blue water.
It was peaceful and calm, which were two things I had craved forever... I loved the stillness, but it never really lasted that long, not around my house.
"Hello...?" His voice caused me to jump in my seat, almost knocking over my cup and saucer as I glanced over my shoulder.
"Damnit, Lindsey." I creased a brow, one hand meeting my chest to calm my racing heart as I looked back down at the tea that I had spilled.
"I didn't mean to scare you, baby." He let out a dry chuckle as he stepped through the sliding glass door with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. "I was bored and I wanted to talk." Lindsey was acting odd from the second that he had opened his mouth- I knew something was going on.
"Don't you know how to use a phone?" I wondered in a sarcastic tone as I shifted on the sun bed, after I had almost flipped right off of it. "Where's my granddaughter?" I asked a second later, not actually expecting to get an answer for the first question.
"Natalie and her sister took all the kids to the beach and then the movies." He shrugged a shoulder lightly, taking a seat in the sun bed right next to mine. "I wasn't invited." He added with a little laugh as he handed me a glass.
I could tell that he was trying to just let that roll off, but he was bothered by it... He took great pride in being a dad and I know, with their recent marital issues, that it was hard for him to be discounted from his family like that.
He wouldn't have admitted it, not to me, but he was going through something at the time.
Biting down on my lower, I watched as he poured the red liquid into the glass. "You should have stayed for dinner and maybe I would care more..." I rolled my eyes playfully as a very soft, sly smirk tugged at the corners of my lips.
I wanted to lighten the mood.
Laughing lightly, he nodded in agreement. "I should have, huh?" He gave me a light wink, bending down to set the bottle on the concrete before he sank back into his chair.
Pursing my lips to the side, I carefully brought the glass up to my lips as my eyes scanned over his factual features.
He always had a way of getting to me, even if he showed up in the middle of the night without warning, or when he told me how much he missed me, just to turn around and not speak to me for weeks... I still had a place in my heart open for him and when he was around, he just nuzzled right back into the safety of that spot, almost like he had never left to begin with.
"Slide over..." I whispered as I pushed myself up, carrying my throw blanket and my glass.
He chuckled, not hesitating to scoot to one side on his sun bed to give me enough room to snuggle right in with him. "Are you warm?" Lindsey had one arm wrapped about my shoulders, teasing me after I had covered us both up.
"I am now." I assured as my head fell right in his chest.
We were so comfortable with each other, sometimes I forgot that it wasn't normal... We weren't together- we hadn't been for almost eight years, and he really had no reason to even be at my house that late at night, but there we were... Breaking the rules.
And that was probably what was always getting him in trouble at home, but who am I to assume things?
"I'm getting a divorce." He had one of his hands in my hair, twisting the locks gently as his eyes stayed glued on the sky above.
"What's going on...?" I creased a brow, asking him that in the most sympathetic way I could.
I was surprised that he would even mention something like that to me. Usually, I was the last person to know anything about his life, and if I did find out, it was only through a grapevine of people in the band, or Lark... News like that never came directly from him.
He nodded lightly and I could tell that he was a little more anxious than before. "There's someone else..."
