~S~
If you haven't figured it out yet, it was never easy with us.
If it had come with a set of instructions, telling us exactly what to do, maybe we would have learned a thing or two a little earlier in life, but at the same time, knowing us, we probably wouldn't have even bothered reading the manual... We would have thrown it away and then argued about it later.
That being said, when I got home, we went right back to where we had been before we went to New York.
I was living my life, he was living his life and occasionally our paths will cross for work, but that was about it. We didn't have any reason to keep in close contact, which was actually kind of unusual for us, especially at that time.
We had gone from raising a daughter together, who was bouncing back and forth from my house to his house, which kind of forced us to be in one another's presence to absolutely nothing... Once Lark was off, living her own life, there was really nothing that was holding us together.
It was business as usual and whatever happened when we were away was swept right under the rug...
I learned to live with it and he had to as well.
~L~
"She's going to be so excited to see you." Karen had Ruth on her hip, staring down at her as she led the way through the backstage area of the arena.
It was the middle of May in 2003- the first time I had seen the band in quite a while, and though I was a little nervous to bring my daughter, I knew how happy they would be... both of them.
"How have things been?" I was trailing right along side her, boots hitting the concrete with a thud as we traveled towards the dressing rooms at the end of the hallway.
"It hasn't been too bad, actually." She was all smiles as she bounced Ruth to get her to giggle.
She was almost eighteen months old by then, so she was everywhere and into everything. She was beyond curious- a little explorer, but kind of shy at the same time.
Being a mom was the most important role in my entire life and I didn't realize how much I needed her until she was born... She kept my world spinning around.
"I'm glad to hear that." I nodded lightly, a big smile coming across my face when we got her door on the right.
It had only been a couple of months since I had seen her, but I was still so excited, I could hardly wait. Ruth and I had flown out to California to spend the holidays with her, which was really special for all of us, but I think a little extra for her... She was over the moon to have us there for two weeks.
But a lot happens in five months when you live across the country and have a baby, so I had so much to tell her.
"Stevie?" Karen knocked on the door gently, a soft grin on her face as she pushed it open just a sliver. "You have some guests that would love to see you." She peaked around the corner.
"Who?" I could hear the confusion lingering in her voice, which made me laugh softly.
Biting down on my lower lip, I slipped into the dressing room first, happy to see that she was still sitting at the vanity, getting her hair and makeup done.
That had always been my favorite part of the entire show- the pre party. I always thought that was when she was most herself and the most comfortable.
She had rollers in her hair, a matching silk pajamas set still on, makeup half done and fuzzy slippers on her feet... She reminded me of my mom- the same lady that made breakfast on Sunday mornings, helped me pick a prom dress and taught me how to braid hair.
"Hi..." When her eyes met mine through the mirror, she let out a light gasp. "Look at you two." She didn't hesitate to push herself up, which sent the women around her in a different direction to give her some space. "My sweet girls." Stevie held out her hands instantly, pulling me in for a warm hug with one arm as the other reached out for Ruth, who was just as thrilled to see her.
"Hi!" Ruth didn't know how to say much at that age, but she could definitely recognize the people around her and she adored my mother.
So, she was clapping her hands, a big smile on her sweet little face as she pushed herself out of Karens grasp and right into her grandmas.
"Of course, we had to come see our favorite people." My head met her shoulder, keeping my arm wrapped around her as I watched her stare down at my daughter.
"Oh, my goodness." She bounced Ruth softly, eyes scanning over her facial features and probably taking in how much she had changed in the couple of months since we had last seen her. "How lucky are we?" She was all smiles and her voice was full of enthusiasm as she began to carry the baby around the room.
"We've missed you." I gave Karen a soft wink when she handed me a glass of wine, really happy to be back in that setting once more.
My life had changed a lot in the couple of years that led up to that visit. I had graduated college with a nursing degree, started working night shift at a hospital in the city to align with Austin's first shift work schedule and I had lost contact with almost any friends I had made in New York.
When I wasn't at work, I was at home... I didn't do much other than cook dinner, watch cartoons, and clean up the same mess four or five times a day.
I loved being a mother more than anything in the whole world, but I really didn't love life in New York anymore... Not even a little, actually.
"I've missed you more." She was trailing around the room aimlessly, showing Ruth everything. "Should we go see grandpa?" She wondered a second later, eyes growing wide as the baby's did the same.
I couldn't help but chuckle, nodding my head as another wave of excitement washed over me.
"Let's go find him." She was really bubbly, which caused Ruth to be the same way- all giggles and grins.
~S~
"Oh, Lindsey...?" I teased lightly, still staring down at my favorite girl as I knocked on the door that was right across the hall from mine. "Lindsey...?" I repeated with a soft chuckle as I bounced her on my hip.
Ruth was perfect- she always had been and she still is. But when she was small, she had really light blonde curls, the bluest set of eyes, chubby red cheeks, and only two little front teeth... She was everything and more.
"You okay?" He was coming towards the door- I could tell by the sound of his feet hitting the concrete on the way. "Are-" he was getting ready to ask again when he pulled it open, a big smile trailing across his handsome face the second his eyes met hers.
"Someone very special came to hang out with us."
