On the road, I spent most days with Suzanna, going over my times tables and reading out loud. Then, Suzanna and I would eat dinner together in whatever city we were in that night. I think the crazy part was, sometimes we never even kept track of where we were, unless it was a cool city like New York or New Orleans. When we would venture out, my mother could only join us on days she had off and when that was the case, we were out all night. She always wanted to do everything- ice cream, some shopping and sometimes, when we were in those wonderful cities, we'd see other shows.
However, there were days when things weren't quite as routine and those were my favorite days.
Everyone within the band never really started their day until late. They all just seemed to party all night and stay tucked away in the safety of their hotel suites each day. I liked it that way though.
That meant I got to spend all day learning and by the time I was finishing up my classes, my mother was just waking up. And I always knew when she had awoken, because room service would arrive just minutes later.
"Did you finish your book?" She was sitting up in bed and I was right next her, head on her shoulder.
"Yeah," I wasn't a genius, or anything like that, but I loved to read. I would spend an odd amount of time reading books that were far beyond my years, but now I can hardly pick up the newspaper, let alone read a novel. "I made you something, mom." I pushed myself off the bed, hurrying back into the living room of the suite, where Suzanna would sit and drink coffee.
She wasn't one of those nannies that jumped in and tried to mother me while my mother was mothering... if that makes any sense. Suzanna always reminded me of how amazing my mom was- she loved her, even though I know she didn't always agree with her, especially towards the end of her time with us. And my mother loved her just as much, I know she did.
"Look," I held up the dreamcatcher that I had made on the plane a couple of days earlier.
A big smile spread across her face as she held out her arms for me. "I love it!" She was always so enthusiastic about anything I would make... I remember she thought the macaroni necklaces were just the cutest things ever.
Jumping back on on the bed, I handed it to her, happy that she seemed so proud.
She had taught me to make dreamcatchers just a couple of years before that. We would sit on the living room floor for hours and make the craziest dreamcatchers we could think of.
She still has a box in her closet full of ones I had made, collecting dust.
"Have you had a good morning?" She asked, pushing some of my loose curls behind my ear as she I curled up close to her.
"Yeah," nodding gently, "we made waffles and got smoothies." I can still remember that feeling of her chin on my head.
I didn't know then, but I do know now- that those moments were her peace. I think that was her time of calm, when it was just her and I.
Even when we were home, there was always something happening. It was always an album in the works, a ton of big name celebrities in our kitchen, or a rehearsal she needed to be at... I don't think she ever rested- only when it was the two of us.
We would have movie nights in the living room, dance parties out on the back lawn and bake cookies really late at night. Sometimes I think we made better friends than we did mother and daughter.
She wasn't that young when I came around, yet it always seemed like she was this cool older sister, who had a lot of cute jewelry and fun dress up clothes.
"That sounds like fun, honey." She gently let go of me, slipping out of bed and tossing her hair into a clip.
"Lark?" His voice was always music to my ears, until, of course, it wasn't.
But I'm getting ahead of myself- it wasn't until many moons later when the tables would turn.
My eyes flew open as I raced through the suite to run right into his open arms. "Hi, daddy." I shouted as he scooped me up.
"Hi, princess." He has always had the softest blue eyes, even when they were storming, I thought they were just the best.
"What are you doing here?" Stevie stood in the doorway of the bedroom, arms crossed casually.
I didn't really pick up on it then, but now I know they had a lot of issues that I couldn't even begin to understand... I started to get the drift later on.
"I'm surprised you're even awake, it's only three." He was never afraid to bicker with her, not even in front of me.
I don't know if they ever realized that that just wasn't fair. I always felt like I was this middle man... the only person that either of them would listen to. In the years following, I would have tears in my eyes as I begged them for calm more times than I can even count now. I had wished for so long that my parents were those kind of people that didn't believe in fighting, but that just wasn't the case. I think they tried sometimes, but the heat of those feuds just seemed to get in the way of any type of standard they may have set for themselves.
"Come here, sweet pea." Suzanna already had my sweater in one hand as she took me out of my fathers arms.
"Thank you, dear." My mom gave me a soft wave as we headed out of the hotel room door, leaving them to argue.
