~S~
A week later, after an absolutely awful, very emotional, busy couple of days out East, I found myself sitting across from Lindsey at the circle table in their Manhattan condo.
He had a glass of scotch in front of him and I had been sipping on a cup of tea that had inevitably gone cold. We were still in the same clothes we'd worn to the funeral, having only been back for about an hour, but so exhausted, we decided to haul up in the kitchen to get a moment of solitude.
And we didn't speak- we didn't have to. We just sat in silence, both of us with a reeling mind.
Everyone was in town- my mother, Karen, his wife and two kids, Austin's parents, Suzanna and her husband, my brother, Lori, Sharon... everyone that was close was in New York, but they had all scattered back their hotels for the night.
So it was just the four of us, trying to navigate what seemed like the impossible.
"Grandma...?" Ruth's little voice crept through the room as she stood in the doorway.
Turning in my chair, I couldn't help but smile softly as my eyes met hers. "Hi, my angel baby." I held out both of my hands, motioning for her to join us.
It was getting late by then- a little after midnight, so the room had grown dark. The only light was the ones flooding in from the outside world and even that busy city seemed to stand still for a while that day.
"I can't sleep." She was in her footie pajamas with her teddy bear in her grasp and puffy eyes from all the crying she'd done.
She hadn't slept well all week, not since we'd gotten into town, at least. I was in charge of her bedtime routine since Lark's mind was so preoccupied, and even though we would read five stories, sing ten songs and chat about everything under the sun, she would still be totally wide awake when the light went off.
"Oh, that's okay." I assured, helping her up to sit on my lap. "Grandpa and I can't sleep either." I added as my tired eyes traveled to his.
He cracked a very weak smile, and I knew that he wasn't exactly sure what to say.
"Do you want some tea?" I asked her as I carefully ran my fingers through her curls.
She was so tired- I could see it in the way her soft blue eyes shifted. "Thank you, grandma." She whispered, which caused my lips to turn up into a smile instantly.
"Go sit with grandpa and I'll get you some." I left a gentle kiss on her head before she slipped out of my arms to go sit with Lindsey.
"Look at that crazy hair, kid." He teased her lightly, and I was really happy when her soft giggle filled the air around us.
"Have you looked at your hair, grandpa?" She teased him right back- she always gave him a run for his money, especially when they were joking.
"Hey, now." He chuckled lightly, and that started up the usual playful banter between the two of them.
With a soft smile, I trailed through the room to pull down one of the teacups from the china cabinet as I listened to them.
I was thankful for the stillness that night... It had been hectic since we had gotten there.
But that night, after dinner with what seemed like two hundred of Austin's closest friends and family, Lark came home and went right to bed, which left Lindsey and I to repot all the flower arrangements, write out the 'thank you' cards, put away all the food that had been dropped off, and call back some of the people that had left voicemails on the house phone.
It was overwhelming for Lark- all of it was, which was understandable, so Lindsey and I just naturally took care of it... Like parents do for their kids.
She was in her late twenties and she was a widow... It would be hard for anyone.
"Here, honey." I set the cup down in front of her and Lindsey, along with a couple of cookies for the two of them on a napkin.
"You're the best." They said that unison, which caused another little round of giggles to escape them.
"Stop copying me." She nudged his arm playfully, a big smile on her sweet little face.
She didn't really understand what was going on in the world around her, and I think we were all very thankful for that.
"You're just so cool, it's hard not to." He caused her to chuckle as he took one of the cookies off the napkin and held it out for her. "What do you say we go out into the living room and have grandma sing us a couple more songs?" Lindsey added a second later, also well aware of how sleepy Ruth was, even though she was fighting it.
She nodded her head instantly. "Can you carry this for me?" She asked him, motioning towards her cup as she began to slip down to stand.
"Lead the way, ladies." He gave me a soft wink as he pushed himself off the chair before carefully grabbing her tea and cookies.
Smiling lightly, I followed her through the room. "What should we sing, Ruthie?" I wondered in a soft tone as I flipped on the living room light.
"Um," she thought about it for a second as she got comfortable on the sofa. "I'm tall enough to reach for the stars..." she gave me a grin, singing some of the lyrics to her favorite song at the time.
We used to sit at the piano bench for hours, laughing and singing until late into the night. She loved music and poetry, even when she was really small, but a lot more now...
Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I glanced up at Lindsey, who was looking right back at me. "I'm old enough to love you from afar..."
