This Day | Gyuhao (Threequel to Youth & The Aged)

- 7

| Chapter Seven — Here now |

That was a year ago.

Jungwon's been gone for a full year and they still have no idea where he is.

Of course, Minghao beat himself up about it, locked himself away and isolated himself from everybody like he had the plague. He didn't even see his kids, only smiling at them occasionally, ignoring them when they started reaching for him and crying.

He can't.

He just can't.

This was his fault.

It was all his fault.

Mingyu tells him it isn't, tells him constantly that none of it was, but Minghao doesn't believe him.

At some point, even Jay tells Minghao not to blame himself.

It was surprising, but still....

Minghao didn't believe it.

Smacking Jungwon was the last little bit of the nudge to send him over the edge. Minghao's been so helpless all this time, he looks dead in the eyes, not as bright and as youthful and happy as he used to be.

They're still looking for Jungwon even though they don't know where to look anymore. They've scanned the entirety of the forest from tree roots to the highest peak of a hill.

Nothing.

It's like magic.

Jungwon had completely vanished.

Aside from Minghao, Eunchae didn't seem so bright either. Minghao knows she's blaming herself too even though she shouldn't be, carrying this horrible weight on her back and looking dreadful. She didn't have that rosey tint in her cheeks anymore, didn't have the stars in her eyes like she used to.

She was worn out.

She lost one best friend, only to lose the other just a few years after.

Ricky was close with her, as she had explained earlier on, but she wouldn't talk to anybody, just as Minghao wouldn't either.

Jay wasn't doing well, to add. Minghao could tell over the past year that he's been trying to be strong, that he's been trying to be the higher up since everybody else was so down. It's gotten to the point where he's been beginning to give out orders to the troops.

Mingyu's been busy trying to get Minghao to reel back to reality all this time, barely focusing on the task at hand and that makes Minghao feel even worse.

Chaein and Riki have gotten so big. Both of them are about to turn 4 and that makes Minghao so sad. He wants to be there for them, wants to be a strong parent, but...

But he feels so terrible.

Jungwon's missing and it's all his fault. Fuck what everyone tries to tell him, it is his fault. And Minghao won't believe anyone who disagrees with that.

"Baby, come back." Mingyu pleaded one night, knocking on the other side of the bathroom door. Minghao had locked him out then, too distraught and guilty to crawl over to let his husband inside, to cry in his hold and feel comforted and be happy again.

He didn't deserve it.

Then it all went to Hell, well, if it wasn't already at that point.

They all find Eunchae's body just a week after that. She's alive, thank the sky, but she was unconscious when she was discovered in her dark and chilly room, lips tinted a scary blue and skin cold to the touch.

Ricky hadn't been the same since he'd found her like that. It took a toll on him. She'd tried to commit suicide, crimson pills scattered along her bedsheets horridly.

It seemed like everything was going in a domino, everybody's facades and entire beings falling with each and every hit.

Everybody was losing it.

After another search party, things that were never ending and always constant, Jay finally returned with tears in his eyes, dropping to the floor in full on destruction.

Finding nothing was worse than finding a dead body at this point.

Everybody just wanted to know what happened, if Jungwon were alive or dead.

They just needed closure.

After another month, Minghao finally begins talking again, tears in his eyes as he shakes his head in sorrow, telling Jay and Eunchae that there's nothing more they could do. Minghao tells them that they could continue looking, could keep on doing as they please, but he just lets them know in the nicest possible way that it's absolutely hopeless.

The conversation is a hard one to have, but Jay and Eunchae both understand. They all group hug like it's the final episode of their favorite show, sniffling and wiping each other's tears and patting backs.

Minghao hasn't been talking to Mingyu much lately, not at all actually. And it's hard.

Minghao's doing good now, absolutely far from perfect— but he's better.

He's okay, but he still has that same horrible mindset... the thought, the reckless voice in the back of his head that tells him he shouldn't ever be happy again.

It's only on the twins' birthday does he finally speak to his husband again.

His eyes are down on the floor the whole time and he can barely look at him, but he talks to him. It's only a few words, ones that consist of a clumsy apology and sweet words of affirmation here and there.

"I'm proud of you." Mingyu had told him, keeping his distance. Minghao didn't know what he was so proud of, but it was a nice thing to hear.

They have a small party for the kids.

Minghao bakes a cake and laughs in relief when he doesn't burn it. Chaein and Riki Junior help with icing it and it looks so ugly and messy when they're finished with it, but Minghao's glad they're happy.

"Make a wish, sweethearts." Minghao coos at his children, tears beaming in his eyes as he watches them from afar, resting his head on Mingyu's shoulder with a sigh.

Mingyu's shoulder bounces as he laughs when the twins both clasp their hands together dramatically.

Then, they blow the candles out.

"Good job!" Umji's next to them, squishing their cheeks, "You're both getting so big."

"What'd you wish for, kids?" Jihyo asks, leaning against the kitchen doorframe.

Chaein smiles, taking her brother's hand and shaking it back and forth, "For sunbae to come back." She says, and everyone's hearts practically shatter.

"We miss sunbae, Daddy." Riki coos, looking at both of his parents, icing already all over his face as he digs into the cake as he speaks, "When is he coming back?"

Minghao has to look away so he doesn't openly sob right then and there.

"Soon." It's Eunchae who breaks the silence, patting both of the kids' heads, "He'll be back soon. Just wait a bit longer."

"Promise?" Riki Junior holds out a pinkie.

Eunchae smiles sweetly, twisting their fingers together, "I promise."

"Cross your heart?" Chaein points.

"Oh, of course." And Eunchae does just so.

"They're 4." Minghao whispers into Mingyu's neck, tears hitting his collarbone.

"Isn't that crazy?" Mingyu chuckles, squeezing Minghao tighter, "Hao."

"Hmm?"

"I missed you."

Minghao sniffles, finally okay again.

"I missed you, too."