This Day | Gyuhao (Threequel to Youth & The Aged)

- 39

| Chapter Thirty - Nine — on ur tattooed heart |

Minghao's funeral is sad.

They fly back to Japan to have it.

After the fire had managed to dissipate, they slid down the hill again to gather any type of remains, only to come up with absolutely nothing but burnt car parts, blood stained leather seats black to a crisp, steering wheel on its last life and it's terrible.

They walked around the scene, searching through the wooded area in hopes to find any little bit of him.

Whether it be a full body, burnt clothes, bones, anything.

But they left empty handed.

Mingyu's numb through the whole funeral.

Standing before Minghao's empty casket is the most gut wrenching thing he thinks he's ever done. It's humiliating, knowing as he stares at Minghao's photo that he could've gotten there faster... that he could've at least tried to help him quicker than he did...

That he could've...

He could've....

Could've... been there.

He doesn't do the eulogy, doesn't think he wants talk to an empty box of wood today. He knows they won't and will never find Minghao's body no matter how hard they look, knows deep down that his body was blown to shreds and that he'll never get another glance of his face again, of those eyes that he's been obsessed with for years, even compared them to the beautiful night sky, matching the stars.

It was hard telling the twins.

It was so hard.

Riki Junior was crying as soon as Mingyu said Minghao flew up to the sky this time, and Chaein cried even harder, slamming her little face into her hands and whining for her father and it fucking breaks Mingyu's heart.

He wishes he could take the pain away.

But how is he supposed to do that when he has his own to deal with? How can he take care of these sweet, innocent little kids like a normal person after quite literally losing the other half of his life? Losing not only Umji, but Minghao as well.

How could he move on?

Could he ever?

He doesn't even cry, just sits silently in the front row, eyes empty as he practically stares into Minghao's funeral photo. Almost everybody says something about him, tells the conjoined gangs about all the little memories Minghao had had, about how much he loved this and how much he loved that....

It all rings in Mingyu's ears. 

He's broken.

He's completely and utterly shattered and he can't even begin to explain how much because his tongue feels a thousand pounds in his mouth and it makes him nauseous.

He's so sick.

This couldn't be real.

It just couldn't.

After the ceremony, Jihoon has to practically carry Soonyoung out, and Junhui almost faints during his speech. It's heartbreaking. Seungkwan sobs silently and Yuqi and Jihyo pat his back gently, trying to calm him down. Joshua and Jeonghan are whiny criers and Seungcheol just tries to hold them both as close as he can. Chan was and is a mess as well.

When they came back, empty handed, the boy had immediately known.

He was dead.

Minghao was dead.