This Day | Gyuhao (Threequel to Youth & The Aged)

- 44

| Chapter Forty - Four — seoul drift |

Mingyu wakes up for the 7th time, eyes fluttering open after yet another nightmare, heart pounding against ribcage as the visual of the glass shattering wrecks his head, the sound during the impact of two vehicles colliding echoing through his brain like a mantra, never ending.

He sits up as slowly as he can, careful in movements so he doesn't wake up the twins.

They wanted to sleep with him tonight, and Mingyu would be an asshole to refuse.

He may be shit person, and he may have an evil soul...

But one thing he'll try to be is a good dad.

For the kids.... for Minghao.

He'll try.

"Why are you awake, Daddy?" It's Riki Junior, his voice coming out muffled, face squished into his father's chest.

"I am. Go back to sleep honey, I'm fine."

"Okay," His son smacks his lips, snuggling closer, wrapping his little arm around Chaein as well, pulling them all together, "If you're scared, we'll hold you, Daddy."

Tears beam in Mingyu's eyes. He bites at his lips to stay silent, "Thank you, my baby." The nickname Minghao always used to use for the twins rolls off his tongue so easily, like it was any other day.

Riki Junior grins, squeezing Mingyu's hand.

Mingyu closes his eyes.

Sleep doesn't invite him again, so he stays awake for the rest of the night, listening to his kids' soft snores, forced to stay in the darkness until the Sun peeks past the blinds.

Morning comes sooner than he would've hoped, the twins shaking him awake because they're hungry. And it's weird, he didn't even remember falling asleep.

Nonetheless, he slips out of his room to cook for them, greeting Soonyoung when he spots him sitting at the kitchen table. The blonde had a mug in hand and dark circles under his eyes. He stared at the smooth mahogany of the table, face blank and bored.

"Morning." Mingyu grumbles out, quietly telling his kids to go see if Qian was awake. He was already out here, he might as well cook for him too.

Soonyoung doesn't reply, doesn't even acknowledge him actually.

All he does is blink down at his coffee, liquid having gone untouched.

Mingyu begins to wonder how long the older blonde has been sitting there, doesn't even see the steam from his coffee anymore. He thinks it's ice cold by now.

Mingyu doesn't push it, just lets the silence invade them both.

He makes pancakes. It's basic and something a cheesy dad would make for his children in a sitcom Mingyu would never watch, but as he flips the pancakes in the pan, hearing the sizzle and smelling the sweet scent of it all, he thinks about how happy they'd be, and every doubt leaves his head.

"Would you like some?" Mingyu asks Soonyoung, turning around to find nothing but the visual of an empty seat, only an abandoned mug left behind.

Mingyu furrows his brows, looks around wearily because it's so weird. He didn't even hear the older take off, didn't hear the drag of his shoes or the crack of his bones.

Mingyu purses his lips and blows it off, turning off the stove and calling for the kids.

Qian's awake. Himself and the twins come running into kitchen with bright smiles and loud giggles. Mingyu tells them to be quiet, grins for the first time in a long time when they all thank him for cooking. They all sit at the table, decorating their food with the syrup and sprinkles Mingyu had laid out.

"I'll be right back. Be good." Mingyu says after washing the dishes.

He walks down the hallway, beginning to look for Soonyoung.

He opens their bedroom door first, curling back when he notices only a sleeping Jihoon, and what he can only assume is Soonyoung's side of the bed, completely empty.

Mingyu's face twists, heart tugging in a reason he doesn't know why.

It's only after walking around for another 10 minutes does Mingyu finally freeze, staring at the door to the roof with wide eyes. It's been pushed open so harshly that when Mingyu gets a good look at it, he notices the indention from the door handle's impact.

Mingyu doesn't hesitate, bolting it up the stairs with loud stomps.

The door's already open when he gets there, the horrible sight of Soonyoung quite literally rising to his feet after having climbed on top of the edge of the building, staring down at the road and concrete below. 

"Soonyoung." Mingyu doesn't scream, don't want to risk him accidentally falling from having him freak him out, "Soonyoung hyung." Mingyu holds out a hand when Soonyoung looks at him, wincing when he sees just how dead Soonyoung already looks.

He could pass as a corpse that came back to life... It's scary.

"Get down."

Soonyoung doesn't answer, just stares at him with everything he has.

Mingyu doesn't know what to do, just shakes as he tries to be as cautious as he can, "Please, get down."

Soonyoung inhales deeply, looking back down at the ground just a jump away. It causes Mingyu to flinch and make a noise he can't even begin to explain.

"Nothing." Soonyoung's voice scratchy. He hasn't spoken in weeks.

"What?" Mingyu furrows his brows, heart racing, "Get down, hyung."

"I..." Soonyoung shudders, "I have nothing." His blonde hair blows in the wind as he stares at Mingyu with every single emotion possible, eyes sparkling in the worst way and it makes Mingyu feel nauseous.

"You have something," Mingyu corrects, "You have me." He holds a hand to his chest, "You have Jihoon... your husband." He lists, "You have Chan, Junhui, and Seungkwan..." A tear rolls down Mingyu's cheek, "Don't do this to them. Please. Don't do this to yourself. Just talk to me. Talk to me— okay?"

"The world," Soonyoung's eyes are glossy, feelings finally bringing back the light in his eyes, and not in a good way, "He was the world to me... the world."

"So, don't meet him this way." Mingyu cries out softly, holding a shaky hand out, so desperately wishing he just had telekinesis, wanting and praying he could just have the ability to pull him away from the edge, "Hyung, don't do this." He repeats.

"Moved fast." Soonyoung's speaking in chapters, "You moved on so fast."

"I didn't move on, and I won't ever move on." Mingyu sniffles, face red in panic because he has no idea how to stop this, "Let's work through this together. Don't leave me like this, okay? Don't grow angel wings when you already have your own."

Soonyoung's face cripples into a cry at that, his sob coming out so strangled it makes Mingyu shiver.

Soonyoung gets down himself, doesn't ask for help, and Mingyu doesn't assist him, feeling proud that he had managed to do it all alone, Mingyu's words having shown him a new light, a reason to live.

But Mingyu does take action when Soonyoung's legs give out, the blonde boy collapsing to the ground in exhaustion. He cries louder than he's ever cried before as Mingyu immediately pulls him into an embrace, closing his eyes and crying with him because he can't help it, everything finally toppling over.

"I love you. We all love you." Mingyu assures him, "Stay."

"I will." Soonyoung promises, "T-Thank you talkin—"

"Don't thank me." Mingyu shakes his head, tears rolling down the dip of Soonyoung's shoulder, "You did this all by yourself. You're so strong, hyung."

Soonyoung cries.

"So strong."

_____

funny story, i actually sprained my ankle yesterday and am literally BED RIDDEN so expect quick updates bc i literally have nothing else to do besides write. but don't worry, besides the little pain, IM SO EXCITED!